reeferjournal

eulogy for the damned

2012-02-12T08:57:00.000-08:00

Onto week 3. so far so good. cleared the first hurdle and 2 more to go. Should be okay. I'm steadily getting back into the groove of things.

It's been a dull few weeks apart from work. Feels like whining is such an easy thing to do and I'm trying hard not to fall into that pit. Quitting smoking seems to have failed after a period of success. So much for that.

Not much else to report and now that I have this page open, can't really think of much to write about. So I guess this is it. Till next time etc. etc.

Transcendence

2012-01-25T02:27:00.000-08:00

The karnataka chief minister decided he didn't want the state to be a part of project tiger. So no money or infrastructure from the centre and this in the state that has the highest population of tigers in the country. This after already having said no to a world heritage site tag for the western ghats. Is there any point in getting angry over this? Especially when the national media seems to think Salman Rushdie's freedom of speech is a far more important issue.

I'm getting blisters inside my mouth. Big water filled boils.

I'm also in a constant sense of anticipation. Something's going to go horribly wrong between now and monday. Paranoia only. Hopefully.

Met a friend yesterday and after the initial debate on the pros and cons of vinyl, we settled into a Tendulkar bashing dialogue. No one else seems to be doing it so why not. With Ponting's resurgence and his touching of the 13000 run mark it seems inevitable now that Tendulkar will carry on for another year or so. Maybe 2. Considering that the next test series is only in July and we don't play outside the sub continent for almost 2 years after this tour, it seems likely that Tendulkar will go on to hit the 15k mark. Doesn't matter if he doesn't win any matches for India or if he just plays for his records. In a country obsessed with numbers, Tendulkar is truly God. Just as unreliable too. I hope he proves me wrong but I doubt it. I'm just waiting to see when Boria and Arnab will finally start to grow some balls and criticise the great man.

Oh well, that's all for now I guess.

Massacre down under

2012-01-16T01:17:00.001-08:00

Watching the cricket in Australia is a bit like watching a slasher movie. Except there are 11 screaming psychos at any given time going after 11 nubile and delicate brown beauties. This is exploitation at a whole new level. The last time India went to Australia it led to a purging of the old guard from the limited overs side. This time around it might well lead to a purge of the old guard from the test side and I think its about time. These guys won't go anywhere till they're pushed out. So push. Its become almost impossible to hide them on the field, their reflexes are down so having them catching in the slips is a risk and Laxman and Sehwag look like they have cement boots on. Of Sehwag, Sachin, Dravid and Laxman, Viru still has a few years of cricket left in him and the great Tendulkar will never be dropped even if its pretty obvious that he's only playing now for that 100th century and his own personal milestones. Dravid is still fit but is dropping catches and getting bowled too often. He might survive another season. Laxman I think will be the first to go. He hasn't been very very special since that last home victory against Australia almost 2 years ago. We're going to lose 4-0 in this series and Dhoni I suppose will be the scapegoat and lose his captaincy at the end of it. Replacing him with Sehwag will be a monumental blunder but that just might be what happens. If I was chief selector I'd tell Laxman and Dravid it was time to retire and bring in Rohit Sharma, Virat Kohli, Cheteshwar Pujara, Ajinkya Rahane and Ambati Rayadu. At least 2 of those guys should go on to have successful test careers and be good enough eventually to replace Dravid and Laxman.

Knowing Indian cricket though, the team will stay in its current form, Sachin will eventually get his landmark ton and the others will score on the flat pitches of India and prolong their career by another year or so. Kohli and Rohit Sharma will probably compete for the same spot till these guys decide to retire.

mood indigo

2012-01-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

So what's happening?

I will be rejoining the corporate world shortly. About time. Irregular timing and 9 hour work days or nights. Can't wait.

The Djinn & Miskatonic demo sucks. If I was reviewing it for GD I'd be making all sorts of nasty comments. We got royally screwed by an incompetent sound engineer. The bass is too soft, the vocals too loud and the drums sound like someone's beating on a cardboard box with a wooden scale.

I want to get completely and utterly stoned and giggle at comedians being mean to each other and then have Herzog take me on a guided tour of the La Chauvet caves. 2 out of 3 will probably happen tonight.

Today, I was accosted by a young boy who was working for some ngo. He asked me if I knew Kannada initially and then proceeded to give me his marketing lecture rapid fire and pointed me at a website to investigate further and showed me the incense sticks his ngo makes and finally thanked me for my time and for speaking to him in kannada cause i was only the second kannada speaking person he'd met since morning and then wished me a nice day and walked off with a smile. If i had any money I'd have bought those fucking agarbhattis.

Film and Television and Alex de la Iglesia

2012-01-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

I've been catching up on the movies of Alex Iglesia. Probably because I found out he was responsible for both Perdita Durango and The Perfect Crime. Wanted to see what else he'd made so...

La Communidad

Better informed people than myself say this is Iglesia's best film. A down on her luck real estate agent is living in an empty apartment that she's meant to show to potential customers because her own flat has no heating. One day, a million cockroaches fall on her from a crack in the cieling. This leads to a discovery that the man who lives in the flat above her is dead and peacefully rotting away, uncared for and unattended. We find out that the dead man was a recluse hated by the other people living in the complex and was also a winner of the national lottery. The woman happens to find the money hidden away in his flat and so begins a tense and comedic cat and mouse chase between the woman and the rest of the occupants in that building. There's an opening shot with a corpse and a cat that is simply fantastic and the movie does have its moments but of the Iglesia movies I've seen this is probably my least favourite. Still better than 90% of the crap out there.

The Day of the Beast

The movie follows a catholic priest and theology professor who has deciphered a code that tells him the anti-christ will be born in Madrid. He determines to summon the devil so he can ask him when and where exactly the baby will be born. Along the way he recruits a metal head and a popular TV medium to his cause. The movie plays out like a light hearted farce for about the first half and then things start to take a turn to darker territory. The performances are terrific in this film and the characters are likable. A very enjoyable dark comedy with a high body count.

The Last Circus

The latest film from Iglesia. This is a strange film about a boy from a family of clowns. His father, a "happy" clown is imprisoned and later dies in prison as a rebel of General Franco's politics. The son goes on to become a "sad" clown and joins a circus. Here, the happy clown is the star and is a cruel bully who mistreats his employees and beats on his wife (the beautiful Carolina Bang). Our happy clown falls in love with her and it all ends badly. Part camp, part comedy, part horror and part heartbreaking tragedy, the movie is held up by 3 superb performances from the sad clown, the happy clown and the woman. The hero's father, played by Iglesia regular Santiago Seguro turns in another wonderful performance. There's heavy use of CGI particularly for the set piece climax with the three main characters battling it out on top of a gigantic tower and the whole movie is set in Franco's Spain, starting from when he came into power and ending as his power was on the decline. This is a powerful film and worth watching.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

So I finally saw the film. It has one great central performance from Gary Oldman and a terrific supporting cast which makes even the smallest walk on cameo a pleasure to watch. The story is simple enough. Set during the height of the cold war, there's a mole in British foreign intelligence and Oldman is brought out of retirement to flush the mole out. Maybe its just in my head but it feels like Oldman is channeling Alec Guinness' performance in the TV series. His speech, the half smile, the delicate way he holds his cigarette all reminded me of Guiness's performance but Oldman is a terrific actor and he makes the role his own. Its a very tight movie at just about 2 hours and has almost no exposition. you need to pay attention to the dialogue and the seemingly thrown away little pieces of information that the director let's you have. The problem with this is that apart from Oldman's Smiley, the rest of the characters never really come alive and are just cardboard cut outs. Still, worth watching.

Homeland

Saw season 1 of Homeland over the weekend and its pretty good. An American marine sergeant held captive by a terrorist cell in Iraq for 8 years is freed in an unrelated attack on insurgents. He comes home a hero and one track follows his rehabilitation and settling into his domestic life with a wife and 2 kids. Then there's Claire Danes who plays a CIA agent with information that a POW has been turned by the terrorists and is planning something big in America. She's convinced that its the Sergeant and so begins a 12 hour cat and mouse game with various political and CIA intrigue thrown in. The acting is pretty great right from episode 1. The dude who plays the sergeant, his wife played by the whore from Firefly, Mandy Patinkin as a CIA consultant and Danes are particularly good as is just about every kid cast in this series. Homeland also stays away from any sort of propaganda and jingoism with all the characters dressed in various shades of grey. Overall, worth watching even if a touch predictable and succumbing to the rules of television and a possible second season.

Outrage

Takeshi Kitano returns to the world of the Yakuza after almost a decade with mixed results. The story is simple enough and almost an alternate version of Sonatine. Kitano plays the head of a minor Yakuza gang who gets used by his immediate boss. He's asked to constantly pick fights with a drug running gang who's boss is brother to Kitano's boss. Kitano's gang is used to further his own ambition and then thrown to the wolves when it suits him. Obviously, this doesn't sit well with Kitano and company after about an hour of set up we're left with a violent and bloody closing chapter that sees Kitano the director, completely unrestrained in the spilling of blood. Kitano the actor also seems to be having fun with his role and is a bit more animated than usual. The stillness I've come to associate with Beat Takeshi is reduced here. There's also a lot of familiar faces from previous Yakuza movies. Overall, fans of Kitano's more violent work will probably like this but it lacks in characterisation and the labyrinthine plot of double and triple crosses and political intrigue and power struggles within the yakuza need to be paid attention to, to follow completely. The man's well over 60 now but his energy seems to be boundless. Kitano fans will like this but everyone else should stay away.

Kill List

Act 1. A family. Husaband and wife love each other. They have a son they love as well. But. Husband has no job and they're broke. Wife is upset about this. They fight constantly but they still love each other and love their son. Then one day, husband's old friend turns up with a new girlfriend for a dinner party. Offers the husband a new well paying job. We find out then that the husband and his friend used to be soldiers, then dodgy mercenaries and now are hit men. There's also something a bit off about the friend's new girlfriend. Act 2. The husband and his friend take on the Kill List. Everyone on it is involved in a kiddie porn ring so no problems in disposing of this scum. But. Husband seems to be on the verge of a breakdown and each kill is more violent and gory than the last. Act 3. Everything goes to hell with a crazy fucking twist ending. Honestly, a tense, superbly acted little British film with an ending that left me asking "Why?!" Completely unnecessary. Shades of A Serbian Film, shock cinema, whatever you want to call it. A film worth watching but with an ending that left me quite disappointed.

Spun

Jason Shwartzman, Mickey Rourke, Mina Suvari, Brittany Murphy and John Leguziama makes for an interesting cast. Put them in a movie made by a Swedish music video director and what you get is a hipster druggie movie that's part Requiem for a Dream and part Tarantino wannabe. Shwartzman goes to his dealer Leguziama to score some crystal meth. There he meets Murphy who takes him to meet The Cook, played by Rourke. Shwartzman spends the next 3 days driving the duo around in exchange for drugs and that's pretty much the story. There's also a disturbing sub plot involving a girl that Shwartzman's chained up in his house. There's Shwartzman's neighbour and phone sex operator played by Debbie Harry, Rob Halford as a porn shop clerk, Ron Jeremy in a thankfully non speaking cameo and Eric Roberts in an embarrassing, over the top cameo as a gay drug lord. The most likable characters here are Leguziama as the meth dealing Spider and Rourke as the meth cooking "Cook." Both are competent and over the top when they have to be but both have been way better. Shwartzman, Suvari and Murphy are all at various levels of annoying although Peter Stormar turns up in a fun little role as a coke head cop. Credit where its due, the movie isn't as bad as it sounds. The director uses a shit load of edits, dilating pupils and animation to add visual flair. Unfortunately, the story isn't much. Still worth a watch if you want an over the top flashy ride with very little substance.

Here's Rourke and Halford in the same scene. Sort of.

A Lonely Place for Dying

Tight action thriller about a group of mountain climbers out on a climb in Scotland who come across a little girl buried in an underground chamber. Who she is and who put her there makes up the story with some stunning cinematography. The movie plays out like a more cerebral Cliffhanger with a couple of great action set pieces. Doesn't flinch on the violence and the acting is pretty decent. Overall, worth a watch for action fans.

Triangle

From the guy who did Black Death and Creep, this movie was quite entertaining. A group of friends take off on a boating trip. The weather suddenly changes and a sudden storm overturns the boat. The stranded survivors see a cruise liner that drifts along and manage to get on board but its not a normal ship. Released the same year as Time Crimes from Spain, the similarity in theme is undeniable. However, thanks to a great lead performance, the movie holds together and as it unfolds, manages to be gripping in spite of the fact that genre fans should figure out the plot quickly. Nothing special but worth a watch for sci-fi fans.

screaming at the moon

2012-01-02T04:38:00.000-08:00

I read today that there's been an increase of 50% in the number of men who have acid reflux at least once a week in the last 10 years.

Cyclone Thane has arrived but everyone's too busy with the Lokpal. Our leaders have let us down. We're in the shadow of a dying world and we're watching it on television.

January my love, arrive already.

The look of disembodiment in her lifeless eyes
methadone and wine and distant death's bleak lullaby.

What a dull fucking start to the new year. Like seriously. It took just about every bit of energy I had to get out of bed. Now I'm sitting around worrying and brooding about 2012. From a purely escapist point of view I welcome the coming end.

I hope the first day of the year isn't a sign of things to come.

I miss having cats around at home. Maybe its time to bite the bullet again.

The look of disembodiment in her lifeless eyes
methadone and wine and distant death's bleak lullaby.

Its bright and hot and sunny outside. Winter seems to have disappeared along with 2011.

I'm angry a lot. A kind of seething bitterness at the world at large and some self loathing to go along with it. I hate this.

Tabby and I

2011-12-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

When I finally tracked down Tabitha she was sitting in the front lawn of her new house with a fat old boxer named Oliver. They were drinking tall cold glasses of milk. Drinking the warmth right out of the hot and sweaty afternoon....

I was lost in a haze of smoke and the smell of stale bitter coffee when the call had come. All I had was a name and a photograph. Tabitha. Find her, bring her back home and maybe make enough to leave the city to its dark unpleasant future. A pretty face when I thought they'd all disappeared. A pretty face in a city buried in ugliness. Should stick out like a vegan at a meat packing plant. Should be easy.

The city was bleeding. Thick waves of black sludge slowly but surely seeped through the cracks in the pavement. The sun had forgotten the city and the rain beat down in sharp drops that could cut your skin if you let it. I pulled my coat closer and walk on. Avoiding the puddles of sludge, the puddles of rainwater and looking for a pretty face to improve my mood. It was tough. The last pretty face in the city had left when the sun was still out. Why am I still here? Hope. And one last job. Scouring the clubs and the alleyways, back room poker games and all night blues bars, one thing was certain. Getting to Tabitha meant finding Oliver. A fat mean spirited boxer who had seen better days and now ran a protection service. Tabitha was his client and everything I heard about him led me to believe he wouldn't go down or let go without a fight.

I learned of an alley that Oliver frequented. An alley for dogs and hobos and women of ill repute. You know the kind. Every city has them. I dressed for the occasion, hoping to be just another face, a nobody looking for scraps. I hung in the shadows and waited. Sure enough, my information was correct. Oliver came lumbering in sometime past midnight. His rolls of fat jiggling with every step he took. Every step he took seemed like it could be his last. I'd met boxers like this before. A lifetime spent being a punching bag and with nothing to show for it but aching limbs and a meanness of spirit that would be the last to go. I'd met this kind and handled them. No problem.

My over confidence was my first mistake. Seeing only the meanness in his eyes and overlooking the intelligence. I stepped out of the shadows and called out to him. Second mistake. I was surrounded by a pack of 3 young cruel products of the street. Nothing more than strays but when in a pack, more dangerous than a herd of lions. The leader lunged at me. I fell and as my head hit the pavement I noted the cracking sound with a sense of detachment. When I came to it was raining again. The sharp cold rain cut through the pain in my bones and I stood. Blood. All of it mine. My head ached, my body ached and I seemed to be bleeding from a dozen different places.

I'd been set up. Lucky to still be alive and maybe Oliver thought a warning would be enough but this old dog had the bit between his teeth and wasn't letting go.

It took me a few days to get back on my feet. Get back on the street. I'd underestimated Oliver and was back at nothing. Every fresh lead I'd dug up had run into a wall and I was clutching at hope and Tabby's photograph. Yeah, she'd become Tabby in my mind. A pretty face will do that to you. Make you lose perspective.

I was on my fifth white russian and just about ready to throw in the towel. I reached into my pocket to pay and leave when I found a little scrap of paper. An address and nothing more. On the outskirts of the city and not a place that would welcome the likes of me. It had been slipped in without me noticing. Getting old and soft and primed for another trap. I had no choice though. I had to follow up on it.

I found the house easy enough and there she was. Sitting on the front porch with that mean old dog for company. She looked at me. Imperious with her green eyes and snow white fur. Took a last lick of her milk and darted in through the open door. I had to follow. Had to see this through. Tabby knew this and so did Oliver. He was standing on the porch, face split into a wide evil grin. Daring me to climb up the steps. Daring me to go after Tabby. I did. I had no choice.

Now, lying in my own pool of blood with Oliver looking down at me with amusement and Tabby calmly licking remnants of milk off her whiskers. All I could do was curse myself. I thought this was going to be easy and I thought I could leave the city. More fool me. In my line of work there's never an easy job and once you've lived in the city there's no leaving it. Like my ma used to say, "boy, you sure picked a hard way to make an easy living."

last days of humanity

2011-12-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

If life was a 50s noir then this is when I'd be drunk all the time and smoking a ton of cigarettes before karma finally caught up with me and I got run over by a bus. Preferably unknown, unwitnessed and with no claimant for my body. The last act in a 90 minute cycle of fucking up.

Hello dear diary. Its been a while. Did you miss me? Like Herzog misses Kinski maybe.

I've been up and down. More down than up. Now have one less thing going for me which brings me to a grand total of 1. Well done.

the end of my rope is a noose

2011-08-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

Been a while since I came here. So much has happened on the personal front that I have no choice but to leave all of it out. Today is a new day and pain is a warning.

I had the most bizarre dream last night. I was in the masterchef house. Like an outsider looking in. Kumar killed Hayden. Kicked him in the neck with a fancy karate move and everyone cheered.

In other news I'm going to try my hand at haiku writing next time I'm in the tub. I feel inspired.

I got a new waterproof jacket courtesy of the sister and it works like a charm when its raining. When its not though, it gets incredibly stuffy. Luckily I can fold it into my bag. Wow.

I'm writing reviews again. On the gayest metal site on the net. http://www.globaldomination.se

"I wish they were hardcore leftists instead of just left leaning. Life would have been so much easier."
"But then you can't be apolitical"
"Yeah."

"It seems Anna has supporters even in pakistan"
"Yeah. Till Eed."

Today was a pretty good sunday. Heard a lot of music, wasted time on rest and relaxation, laughed at some stupid jokes and now listening to demolition hammer, morbid saint and mandator on shuffle.

Been watching this show called eureka. About a small town called Eureka that houses the best minds in America and the town sheriff who must keep these minds safe. Its a lot like Chuck. Ridiculous plots but interesting, likable characters. Good time pass.

Today on the way to work I got late cause of a procession to freedom park by about a 100 college kids in support of anna. They've got the day off I guess. Irritating shit.

In other news, the new Today is the Day sounds like old Cave In. Steve Austin's mellowed. Who would have thought.

So the fourth test is now over. India lost 4-0. Not since that australian whitewash all those years ago has indian cricket been this pathetic. The team, selectors and the BCCI must share equal blame. The selectors for picking zaheer khan and sehwag and not bothering to send a back up opener, the team for its lazy and arrogant attitude and the BCCI for just being power mad assholes. Sachin's still on 99 hundreds and it looked like the fourth test was a perfect opportunity for him to get to 100 considering the series was lost and there wasn't any pressure but he failed and got out in the 90s after playing very determinedly for a 100. Oh we'll, he'll probably get it in the one day series but I hope he flops there also and comes back from England with nothing to show for. Dravid has been fantastic. His 3rd hundred in the series was beautiful to watch and he's been the only player in the Indian team to actually play test cricket. That number 3 slot is going to be very hard to fill once he retires which might be at the end of this year after Australia. I have a strong feeling we're going to come back from this tour without a single victory and then play the lame ass champions trophy where dhoni can reclaim his captain cool image. I think sachin, dravid and laxman should retire after the Australian tour. From the three only Dravid looks fit enough to play test cricket anyway.

In more news, turns out it's the BCCI that's secretly funding anna's camp. Talk about distracting people from the larger issues.

Some dude's been uploading Indian metal bands on to rockbox. Amidst the gigabytes of trash he also uploaded millennium and 1 concept 2 live. Listening to these tape rips has been a lot of fun. Particularly the self titled album and the live side of 1 concept 2 live. I was at that UVCE show and remember the stampede. Does any local band command that kind of adulation today? I'd really like to know. Anyway, super fun in a nostalgic, good old days kind of way. Unfortunately, the peace just in heaven video doesnt seem to be around on youtube so only be one instead.

it ends and starts and ends and starts

2011-06-20T13:30:00.001-07:00

A friend told me today that by the time he's done with work and goes home and spends time catching up with everything that needs to be read and seen its 3 am. I'm glad I'm not alone. Some days are good and some not so but every night is full of dreams.

Its never too late to turn back
Or too late to flee the scene
For want of a horse,
the kingdom was lost
For the absence of trust
a good man went to war
Everybody's culpable
Everybody run

I'm not going to sleep tonight
Must remember to check the score
I'm not going to read tonight
Must remember to tend the sore

strength in numbness

2011-06-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

I heard the new lady gaga album yesterday. It seems its the first album in 2 years to go past the 1 million sales mark in america. Its mostly dance pop like it used to be around high school and puc. Like tavern on a wednesday night with every song waking a strange sense of nostalgia in me. Its like she's playing retro pop if there is something like that. And totally disposable. I can't remember a single song now.

Watched this tv show called Bored to Death. With Jason Schwartzman , the fat bearded guy from hangover and ted danson. Jason's a struggling writer who posts an ad on craigs list posing as a private detective, the fat guy is his best friend and struggling cartoonist and ted danson's the editor of some big time magazine. All 3 suck at relationships, all are going through personal crises and all 3 smoke pot. It has a very laid back feel good vibe to it that I liked a lot. Watched 16 episodes in 3 nights.

Now on to Psychoville which is the return of the league of the gentlemen. Strange creepy horror comedy. First episode was pretty good. A nurse who talks to a plastic doll like its her own baby, a one armed clown who chain smokes and drives a hearse, an old blind man with secrets, an ex porn star dwarf with telekinetic powers and the obligatory serial killer and his mum. A veritable cornucopia of horrors. Its a bit more in your face and over the top than The League but still pretty damn good.

This blog is becoming more and more like a repository for vague comments on tv shows and music. I feel like I should be writing about more important stuff. The self and things that affect me and all. And even Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev and the Sadhvis and civil society. But what to do? I feel strongly about so many things but can only write about the mundane and disposable entertainment of my everyday life.

Head held high but I was knocked off my feet
I can't decide if you're a trick or a treat.

You think Medha Patkar is sitting somewhere and slapping her forehead and going, "damn. What a bunch of jokers! I should have eaten properly."? Doubt it. She seems like a serious lady. Also, for the first time in my life I'm agreeing with the human rights activists and lawyers who are coming on tv. Its a bit disconcerting but when this one lawyer on tv called ramdev a fraud and asked for an enquiry into the source of his wealth I was cheering. Especially when the ramdev fan on the debate asked for her to be banned from tv immediately. Potato smileys and pot tea at Koshys and art fag exhibits at CKP await.

Yesterday, I woke up with this strong feeling that I must track down an old friend. I hadn't seen or heard from him in about 7 years but figured facebook would help me. As it turned out, there's no sign of him or his family on fb. It's left me a little worried.

Its a beautiful day out. The word pleasant comes to mind. Its cool but sunny with a threat of rain on the horizon. So much for the weather report.

Looks like next project is going to be a hardcore tech process for an internet security firm from San Jose. My tentacles are slowly unfurling onto the valley. Tentacles still crossed though.

operation successful patient dead

2011-05-30T10:48:00.000-07:00

So i went to a book reading yesterday. A dude i sort of know has compiled a bunch of folk tales from the North Eastern states and self published it. I sat through one full story and random rambling about Sikkim but what was interesting was the abject boredom on the faces of the kids there (there were quite a few) and the exact opposite expression from the parents who seemed genuinely captivated. The whole experience was somewhere between interesting and really boring.

In other news, my project goes live tonight. Finger crossed.

There's this band called Hell. From England, from around the NOWBHM movement who released a bunch of demos between 1982 and 1986. The band has finally released their debut album this year and it's quite great. The songs are mostly the old songs from the 80s given an up to date production and the band sounds like a cross between Refuge Denied and Into the Mirror Black with some keyboards and loads of samples. This is some kickass old fashioned heavy metal and i guess, almost 30 years in the making. I listened to this in the morning on the way to work. Did wonders for my mood and full marks for this video.

The last A Storm of Light album, Forgive Us Our Trespasses was terrific. I finally got the chance to listen to the new one on the way to coffee house today and it sounded fantastic. The post metal sludge vibe has a slightly folky tone to it and the album goes from massive sludge to spaced out acoustics without a moments hesitation. Some great songs on this and Destroyer really grabbed me. Heard it 3 times today.

the fine art of bullshit

2011-05-23T08:06:00.000-07:00

So I'm watching the Saw movies. 4,5,6 and 7. Watched 4,5 and 6 over the weekend and might watch the last one tonight. It works well as 90 minute episodes. Jigsaw is a pretty memorable villain as far as these things go and the movies build the jigsaw mythos with a fair amount of care and what feels like reverence. Jigsaw dies in the third movie but his work is carried on by his recruits and tobin bell appears now and then in flashbacks and exposition. The holy shit factor of the first movie can never be duplicated but as far as horror franchises go, Saw is surprisingly decent.

The new season of Doctor Who is kicking ass. It left me with a big smile as the doctor ran around through time and space trying to save the planet from The Silence, a race of scary aliens who've invaded 1960s Earth. Also, Pond might be preggers with a time lord meta child who's about 8 years old but not yet born and might have regenerative powers and might just be a time lord or might just be the doctors latest incarnation waiting for this season to end or maybe I'm totally wrong and maybe I'm totally right. There's some real suspense here and overall, this series promises plenty.

Also started watching this series called The Borgias with Jeremy Irons as the patriarch of clan Borgia who becomes the pope and his family. Like a period Sopranos. Pretty good so far and loads of gratitious sex. Treme's also going very nicely 3 episodes in and I'm saving the new doctor who for the weekend.

In other news, I really don't feel like it.

You know how you can listen to something and it won't make any sense at all? Well, I've been writing this post from so long that I've forgotten what music I was talking about. Oh well.

The new Autopsy leaked. The first song is okay. A bit different and a bit of modern dissonance but come the second song "Dirty Gore Whore" and its like a reminder from the band of all that's unholy, twisted and sick in death metal. The boys are back. With a few new tricks in tow.

On the subject of leaks, Necrophagia's Deathtrip '69 is finally out as well. Horror metal. Opening with a sample from Evil Dead II, a song called Funeral for Solange, fun album with killjoy even trying his hand at some outlaw country and succeeding.

Sub Rosa. That's who I was talking about. Loving it now. Just made total sense one afternoon over lunch.

This years IPL is some boring shit. Lots of terrific individual performances but somehow the whole is not greater than the parts.

I'm getting irritated with people and their pretensions. I'm getting irritated with people who talk out of their ass and manage to sound super knowledgeable when they do it. I'm getting irritated generally with a whole lot of people. Maybe time to take up yoga and meditate. For real this time.

Episode 3 with the good doctor turned out be a bit damp. Lazy writing. Hopefully 4 will pick up the pace. Treme on the other hand is getting better with every episode. Anton Baptiste and his Soul Apostles had their first gig, Steve Zahn's producing a NOLA sampler with his crazy aunt, the Indian chief is still frustrated and angry and his son wants to make a New Orleans jazz record. The characters are interesting and unlike The Wire which was plot driven with some great characters, this doesn't really have much in the way of plot but it does have a lot of interesting people.

My lunch has arrived. Later.

So last night Airtel decided to up my internet connection in between sending me payment reminder messages. Suddenly my download speed went from 50 to 200. I ended up downloading some 12 new albums and 2 rather large files with 13 Assassins and I Saw the Devil. It was still on in the morning so I put Mother for download before leaving. This is nice but if it stays this way I might go crazy. And need a new hard disk. Anyway, I have a whole bunch of movies for the weekend. Mostly of the twisted oriental kind.

Only 13 Assassins happened. Its an hour of build up followed by an hour long battle scene. 13 vs. 200. Loads of samurai action and a fantastic battle scene. Liked this movie a lot.

This is turning into a ridiculously long update about nothing but the new Cave In is out and it deserves at least a couple of lines. From Converge like dissonant hardcore to spacey post hardcore, Cave In is like Radiohead with balls and White Silence is pretty fucking great. Somewhere along the way I think Cave In discovered pot, Pink Floyd and the Beatles and nothing was ever the same. Spacey, psychedelic post hardcore. Welcome back.

Other notable downloads over the last week include the new A Storm of Light which sounded fantastic on the first listen, the demo from Vastum is pretty good old school death-doom, the new Across Tundras sounds like the band has finally made the transition from good to great and Corpsessed's debut ep is a solid display of death metal. Overall, its been an awesome couple of weeks for new music.

Anyway, this is becoming really long winded and going nowhere. Must stop now.

this transcends belief

2011-04-28T01:30:00.000-07:00

Sitting in airlines again. No mood for anything resembling work. Want to crawl into bed and sleep some more. Its strange how so many blog posts start in airlines now. Blackberry ki jai I guess. Akki rotti happened after a long while. Way too much butter and slightly too thick for my liking but not bad at all. I think I need a change of environment and scenery. Bangalore's dulling my senses and life's getting to me.

In other news, there's a band called Saturnalia Temple that's got me quite excited. Their demo from a few years ago was mostly electric wizard worship but a song on a newish 4-way split is sludgy space rock and very cool. Watch this space for more. Debut full length coming soon.

New season of Dr. Who started. It feels edgier and darker than before and its off to a great start. Emily Pond is the prettiest sidekick this series has ever had I think.

Sometimes I think I'm better off keeping things to myself. The initial relief of getting things off my chest is short lived and not really worth it compared to the consequences.

I think therefore I rot.

There's too much new music happening. For all the people who say there's no new music anymore, you should open your ears. Listening to Repuked's debut and its quite literally a blend of Autopsy and Abscess with some of Sweden's own d-beat thrown in. There are a whole bunch of these new old school bands that are putting out killer debuts. I find it quite strange in a way. What happened to bands taking time to grow and mature and getting round to releasing kiler albums on the second and third tries?

Metallica's playing in India finally. But they're playing in delhi and opening the F1 racing thing there. I found that really lame. Like really lame. Fucking hell, its Metallica. Give the fans a proper show.

The peaceville 3 might be playing bangalore in december. How about that? After years of dreaming about it, I might finally get to see them. So what if all three are dead on stage these days and their best days are behind them. I'm already dreaming of getting my Icon sleeve signed.

In other news, you're just another chunk of meat.

The new Septic Flesh and the new Primordial are blowing my mind. I seem to have lost interest in stoner rock and if I see one more band claiming to sound like Down I might puke.

Also, Blasphemy. What the fuck is up with so many bands claiming Blasphemy as an influence? I think metal now attracts more hipsters than any other genre.

New season of Treme started too. Its the music in this show that's awesome and makes it worth watching. The New Orleans jazz and folk. And Steve Zahn who's just very likable and the mother from The Fighter who's just a terrific actor along with the 2 black detectives from The Wire. Season 1 started great and then tapered down to a downer season ending and season 2 has again started off great and upbeat. Hopefully it won't be as much of a downer this time but I don't think David Simon is interested in happy stories of happy people.

I'm singing in a band now. Djinn and Miskatonic. Stirred with a wooden stake. Some lyrics for a song called Flight of Sand which is still a work in progress.

Sun sand and heat conspire as one
I melt in the gaze of the three
Desert sand lies devoid of life
I pray for my own bitter hell

What I see
Is it real
Can you see
The things I did

Coward to all as my brothers stood tall
Fought to the last while I froze
My soldiers betrayed by my hand
Sword cut through flesh as I ran

I saw them kneel
I heard them cry
I heard them beg
I hid. they died

I thought I would pick my battles to win
Now I try to outrun the sun
The screams of my brothers echo within
As a buzzard announces a feast

Hope for me seems long since dead
The wind she swirls around me
Its true that sand gets everywhere
I'm blind, sandblind, I can't see

Walking now
And forever
Paying the price
Coward!

Give me one word for walking dead
As the sand builds to kill
Unseen, unknown
Unwitnessed I crumble

no grave deep enough

2011-04-23T01:12:00.000-07:00

The new Septic Flesh finally leaked and I've been listening to it non stop since yesterday. Its pretty great but not as ferocious as Communion. The album's a little more melodic and at times sounds more like the last Hollenthon than Communion. Imagine Communion crossed with Revolution DNA with a production that makes everything sound utterly massive. The song writing is a bit more complex as well but like with most of their albums will take a few listens to fully grasp.

In other news, the weekend was pretty good. Met a couple of old friends, did some afternoon drinking and overall had quite an active weekend.

I've been watching this brit series called Midsomer Murders for a while now. It's set in idyll British village life in a district called Midsomer where murders occur with alarming regularity. It almost feels like there's very little difference between village life in England and right here in India. The crimes are brutal and the villages full of secrets. The plotting's great so far and I'm on season 6 and around 25 100 minute stand alone episodes. Impressed.

Sitting in airlines and a new pizza place has opened inside the compound. Some dude's ordered spaghetti and it smells a bit like Maggi's masala. There's a woman sitting here who looks like Farah Khan.

Back. Again. What's happening? I started this last friday when I got the septicflesh and now restarting on friday with primordial. How about that? Yes, finally. Redemption at the Puritans Hand. Its epic and heavy and
Nemtheanga delivers another fearless performance. Just about done with first listen and its very good. As is the Blut Aus Nord and I'm expecting good things from the Miasmal debut. Too much kickass music happening. I'm also really liking The Great Mass. Reminds me more and more of Revolution DNA.

In other news, I might pass out. Ate too much. I might be playing blackjack tomorrow. 21.

I have something that needs finishing. Luckily I'm very good at multitasking. So I can finish and type.

Oh I saw Rango. Rattlesnake Jake was great. The movie was good but left me unsatisfied. Also this insane movie called Rubber. Its very difficult to describe so I won't bother but everyone should see it. Now I plan to actually get off my ass and finish what I need to and type some more.

This Primordial album is great.

I'm listening to the new Pentagram and man they're ripping it. Its been a bit of a slow grower but I suddenly know the words here and there. Always a good sign.

Unable to finish or move.

Bobby Leibling's telling me to call the man. "when you've done everything you can... I know you better run for the man." Who is the man? I don't know but could be useful. A handyman. Give me a hand out of this tub my good man. What a cheesy song. Seriously. I need to make a copy of this for the car.

I had a terrific drive yesterday and then again today with green carnation playing and the weather being perfect doom metal cloudy, dull grey and wet. That album reminds me of simpler times. Just a total perfect one hour trip. A total classic.

I'm planning to watch visions of suffering on mute with the new blut aus nord as soundtrack. Let's see. Oh I also have police story 2 written, directed and starring Sai Kumar. Suddenly everything changes and I'm faced with choices. Hard fucking choices all the fucking time. Ridiculous kannada action film or dark disturbing russian? Or just passing out to light of day, day of darkness. Choices I tell you.

So none of the above happened. Saw the first 30 minutes of Anguish again and then passed out. Good morning world.

This cemetary opens at sundown

2011-04-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

So here I am again. Trying literally. Why bother? I'm not sure. Feels important.

Something that's been on my mind for a while now. Where did all these shiva and kali worshiping bands come from? Weapon and Orator have Hindu roots but Necros Christos? They're all blond, possibly blue eyed Germans singing about Hindu gods. Is Jon Nodveidt to blame? Is Temple of The Black Light to blame? Actually, if these bands keep putting out killer albums and there aren't any suicides then its all good and blame will simply be cause. Or something like that.

I went to my first expat party, lodged my first police complaint and went to a local show and had fun for the first time in years. Not all on the same day but close enough. The show was a definite highlight. I've also started a blog to review stuff http://frozenrapture.blogspot.com. Let's see if I can sustain this.

And I've totally lost my train of thought. Sack. Later.

I'm listening to a band called Quest for Fire. The vocalist thinks he's in Pink Floyd but the band are doing an awesome chilled out stoner rock that's somewhere between Giant Squid and Across Tundras. Very nice.

I would really like a tall glass of sugarcane juice right about now. It's fucking hot here and april and may are going to be hell on earth. Hopefully it'll start raining in June.

India won the cricket world cup. It was an unbelievably tense game and by the time Lanka finished batting it looked like they'd done enough to win their second cup. Then Sehwag got out for a duck and Sachin followed soon after and it looked like curtains for us. But this is a new team with actual depth in batting and more importantly, some iron in their spines. Kohli and Gambhir managed to stay with the asking rate and then Dhoni promoted himself ahead of Yuvraj and played the most important innings of his life. It really was stunning cricket from the indian captain. Also, his captaincy in the knock out stage has been spot on after a couple of mis steps early on in the tournament. There's a management book waiting to be written on Dhoni's captaincy skills. Anyway, the world cup win made me happy.

And it rained today only. For 5 minutes after which it became insanely humid and I sweated right through my shirt. Disgusting.

Also, finally, a torrent for Hobo with A Shotgun is out and its downloaded and waiting. I've also got a packet of the finest that Mysore has to offer. Providence I tell you but couldn't this have happened over the weekend?

What a ridiculously tiring day. Ridiculous and tiring. My eyes are burning and my body aches. Later dear diary. I'm done now.

2011-03-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

India's playing Pakistan in the world cup semi finals. Shades of 1996 all over again. I can't wait. Like the quarters wasn't bad enough, the match threatens to leave a few people with heart attacks. I'm hoping for an India South Africa finals at the Wankhade. These 2 teams have been playing some high quality cricket against each other for the last few months and the World Cup finals with these 2 teams would be killer. Hope and pray.

I'm sitting in airlines and a whole bunch of girls just walked in wearing the same red sari and with 2 dudes who seem to be their care takers. Weird.

In other weird news I've become a lode stone for insects. Yesterday, heading back home from the complex a spider landed on my helmet and held on till I got home. A quite beautiful grey and black spider. Must have had suction caps for feet. Impressive. Now there's a giant red ant crawling over my bag. Must have fallen off a tree but he seems happy.

Airlines has a new kitten. The fellow was scared and nervous last week but now he's wandering around and getting his picture taken like he owns the place.

I have absolutely zero inclination for work today. 0.

Another Englishman has cited depression and family to quit cricket. Quit the world cup on the eve of their quarter final match and go home. What is up with these cry babies? Trescothik comes to mind as the chief sissy but this Yardy fellow's not too far behind.

In other news, Dead Flesh Fashion just released their second album and it owns. As does the new KEN Mode, Blood Ceremony, Decrepitaph and Boris. I'll stop with the name dropping but that Boris is some brilliant pop music.

South Africa lost to New Zealand in the quarters. So much for my hopes and dreams.

pretty pink garden

2011-02-08T06:43:00.000-08:00

Mornings were always the same for him. Wake up, scratch his balls for a bit, chai and biscuit and out the door and off to work. That day though, was different. His familiar foraging amongst his nether regions yielded an unfamiliar roughness. 2 raised patches of skin that felt like an old leather cricket ball with the leather worn and rough. He gave it a gentle squeeze and was relieved that there was no pain. He tried looking in the mirror but his stomach got in the way and that only added sadness to the weight he was now carrying. he decided to go see a doctor soon and stepped out and off to work. The growth ate away at his brain all day but by the time he was done with work it was too late for a doctor. He bought a small mirror, bandages and some dettol instead.

Standing in his bathroom with one mirror in hand and one in front he looked a little pale and sweaty. He started to move the mirror in his hand, checking various angles to see if he could get a look. Then he had it. 2 yellowish round patches of skin. Rough to touch. Fungus he thought with a shudder. He left the things alone. Decided to visit a doctor the next day and tried sleeping.
He actually did visit the doctor the next day. Got a rub, an ointment and a pat on the back for good behaviour. He even walked home with a spring in his step. Happy at having taken prompt action. Sleep that night was the stuff of legend. The next morning he woke up with a smile and felt full of energy till he reached for his sack. If anything, the patches seemed to have become bigger in every way. From mounds to hillocks. He squeezed and again felt no pain but the damn things were definitely bigger.

He dropped his pants and reached for the ointment, squeezing the tube till his hand was covered in the smelly white paste. Reached down and covered his crotch with it before sitting down. He was sweating and pale and nervous. He called the doctor for an appointment and waited. For a while. Then he decided to inspect the growth but stomach and ointment were both in the way and our man just felt tired and old and depressed.

Sitting on his bed slumped and wondering about the cause for his problems, the man put his head in his hands and started to weep. Too much smoking, he thought like all smokers do when faced with anything from an ingrown toe nail to cancer. The doctor could only see him in the evening and he had time enough to sweat and ponder and brood.

Then the strangest thing happened. He thought he could feel it pulsing under the thick ointment. Pulsing and throbbing like heartbeats. Panic. Cold, debilitating panic in waves as he rushed to the loo to wash away the ointment and give it an another look. Combination of mirror and angle was achieved after some difficulty and his shaking hands and running sweat didn't help matters but there it was. Definitely bigger and definitely beating to the rhythm of a different heart. He could feel his heart beating furiously in his chest but the beat in his ball sack was a much more measured and sleepy pulse. The rough yellow circles now had an outer ring of sickly green and 4 pink dots on each growth. He watched them beat and pulse. Hypnotised by the mirror image he lost track of time and space. When his arm fell asleep and the mirror crashed to the floor it made no difference to him. Still sitting and feeling every pulsating moment. Something was moving around in his ball sack.
Within these growths. He could feel it. Something just waiting to burst out. The pulsing of his sack was distinct and clear and formed a perfect counterpoint to the beating in his chest.

It was then that the pain hit him. In fast moving excruciating waves shooting from his ballsack all the way to his brain. His last conscious thought was that he was having a stroke. After that was just the darkness that he leapt into.

The first thought on regaining consciousness was that he'd died. He couldn't feel a thing and the room seemed brighter somehow. The pain was gone though and that was the important bit. It took him some effort to stand up and when he did and looked at himself in the mirror he saw the growth from his sack. He didn't need the small mirror or even have to hold up his stomach for a better view. There between his legs, growing out of his sack were 2 bright pink petunias fluttering gently between his legs.

Life was never the same for him again.

RIP Tura Satana

2011-02-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

Tura Satana died a few days ago. A start as a go-go dancer, Elvis's girlfriend for a time and one kvlt movie. But what a movie. I knew going in that the movie had a rep but when Varla broke that dude's neck in desert I knew I was in for one wild ride. A genuine holy shit moment. Pity there was never anything else to match Varla or Faster, Pussycat. Kill! Kill! but you can't have everything I guess.

I've got my robot headdress on and I'm singing the blue ball blues

2011-02-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

Java City for lunch and time pass after ages or maybe a fortnight. There's a woman from the 5 star up the road chain smoking kings and drinking water in her grey business suit. She's forgotten to take off her name tag or maybe not. There's a man who looks like an accountant reading an Erle Stanley Gardner book and his pink drink is almost untouched. The techies on their lunch break are loud and obnoxious but I have my ipod and Blindead is drowning out most noise. You can tell a lot by a person's helmet. I can't. The squeaking laughter of the girls is irritating the accountant and probably distracting him from Mason's latest case. Only a matter of time before he tells them to shut up and attend college. Poor fellow. I sympathise.

I feel like going on a long drive and doing absolutely nothing. A regular feeling. I hope that one day soon India will win the world cup just so the channels can stop playing the '83 win and stop fellating Kapil's devils. I haven't watched the news in a long while. Not since my tv conked off a few months ago. Not missed much I think. Anyway, food needs to happen and then head back to work and while away time till 6. Later.

I changed the music in my car and I pod today. Went to work with coverdale/ page playing and now listening to Look at Yourself. Both albums put me in a very happy although slightly nostalgic mood. Its quite insane how so much music I listened to growing up comes with its own back story. Uriah Heep and Coverdale Page just both made me wish for a music shop like Sound Options again. Where you could walk in, browse, get the dude to play whatever new tape you wanted to check out, put a smoke or two, talk about the revolutionary picture quality of a laser disc and generally hang out. Now its Planet M or Landmark. Faceless shops with no personality where browsing for music is just uncomfortable and tedious and asking the staff for help is utterly pointless. I miss Sound Options, Rhythms, Music Magic and that shop in Curzon Court. Even Ram's and his never ending supply of pirated AR tapes. So what if he couldn't tell the difference between Pantera and Petra. See what I mean about nostalgia?

Anyway, I'm going to see Bevar Sea this weekend. I'm hoping for a good trip and a decent show. The plan is to get sent, stand at the back at watch. I'm hoping Orphaned Land play The Beloved's Cry.

There's a giant tom who's taken to hunting in our garden. I could hear him last night and today morning he was prowling the garden like he owned it. Not scared either. Strict instructions not to let him in though.

I'm slightly addicted to the Word Mole game on my phone.

In other news, I had an insane attack of the acid yesterday. Completely debilitating.
Health problems and old age aside I'm pretty good. Life seems to be mostly okay. At least the things I can control are in control and the variables aren't causing me heartburn.

I'm occasionally disappointed with my own inane observations but then I look around and tell myself its not so bad. Carrying on, I need new shoes and a couple of pairs of trousers. I think some shopping needs to happen soon.

A new Red Harvest and a new Septic Flesh also need to happen soon please. Listening to Revolution DNA and the Greeks are just incredibly classy. I think the 90s was a pretty great time for extreme metal. I should also roll a fatty and listen to this and A Deeper Kind of Slumber back to back one of these days. In related news I can't find my Odd Fellows Rest CD. Okay, I've had enough of my own bullshit. For now.

2010 Top 40

2011-01-22T08:43:00.000-08:00

2010 was a pretty great year for music. I heard all sorts of terrific stuff and could have easily listed 50 top albums instead of 40 but felt too lazy. These are all albums arranged in order of preference and albums I'd score a minimum of 4 on 5 for if this was kvltsite.

But first, three huge disappointments in 2010.

Nevermore's The Obsidian Conspiracy was unbelievably bad. Is this the same band that made Dreaming Neon Black, Politics of Ecstacy and This Godless Endeavor? The riffs are rehashed, the lyrics are rehashed or just plain cringe inducing and the songs sound like a patchwork of past Nevermore songs. Just a really terrible and lazy album.

Anathema's We're Here because We're Here which suffered from too much hype, too much delay and Steve Wilson's bullshit. Thats 2 great bands he's ruined now. But seriously 8 years for this? It sounds like elevator music. Godzilla sized disappointment.

Last is Cathedral. A 5 year gap before they released The Guessing Game and its filled with prog rock and Lee Dorian's vocals which just continiue to get worse. I had a sneaky suspicion they'd go to shit when I read that Dorian had quit the weed and grown into an obsessive prog rock lp collector but this is still worse than anything I was expecting. I miss the simpler days of Soul Sacrifice and The Ethereal Mirror.

40. The Blood of Heroes - The Blood of Heroes

Justin Brodrick and Bill Laswell are on this. There's also a vocalist called Dr. Israel and a couple of electronic artists and the result is an album that is seamless across its influences. Groovy, heavy electronic music and awesome from beginning to end. Sort of like an electronic version of The Ocean. If there's just one song to listen to.

39. Venomin James - Crowe Valley Blues

This band owes a great debt to the first Karma to Burn album along with Kyuss, Fu Manchu, Cleansing era Prong and straight up heavy metal. Still or maybe because of which, Crowe Valley Blues is a total fucking blast.

38. Triptykon - Eparistera Daimones

I had really high hopes for this. This was going to be in my top 5 from 2010 for sure. Yet as much as I heard it, i couldn't escape from the fact that the albums drags. While Monotheist was fantastic from start to finish, this one has one ill advised attempt at electronic trip hop farting around and a couple of songs are a bit faceless. I still loved it but not as much as I thought I would.

37. Blindead - Affliction XXIX X MXMV

Post metal from Poland. This is essentially one long song broken into 7 parts and sounds like a mellow Neurosis. What sets this band apart though is the use of electronics, a catchy groove and a memorable melody. I could name check Cult of Luna, Antimatter and Anathema along with Neurosis and maybe even what Red Harvest would sound like if they chilled out. Very good band and a solid, classy album.

36. Dragonauta - Cruz Invertida

Argentina's Dragonauta have been plugging away for a while now but its on this, their third album that the band has got everything just about right. The occult doom stylings of the band are intact, the riffs are bigger and dirtier and while a debt is owed to Sabbath, Pentagram and St. Vitus it's also original enough and abrasive enough to really stand out and work. Cruz Invertida sounds great.

35. Furze - Reaper Subconscious Guide
Psychedelic black metal. I've seen a lot of bands get tagged that but Woe J Reaper's music is truly psychedelic. It's black metal mostly of the Darkthrone variety but held together by some truly creative song writing and enhanced by the use of some of the most unsettling electronics and ambient noises you'll hear. Furze's new album should be getting a lot more love. Bizarre but beautiful.

34. Ludicra - The Tenant

Imagine taking 70s hard rock, thrash and NWOBHM and then giving it a black metal twist. Ludicra remind me of an extreme metal Slough Feg but not boring. The Tenant is just a very classy extreme metal album and its backed up by some fine musicianship and song writing.

33. Blasphemophagher - For Chaos, Obscurity and Desolation...
Tongue in cheek Italian blasphemy of the highest order. These guys can really rip it and just blast their way through the ten songs on here with a crushing black death thrash hybrid that never lets up. Somewhere between the over the top blasphemy of Arkhon Infaustus and the bludgeoning of Averse Sefira. Black Hole Abomination from start to finish.

32. Sailors with Wax Wings - Sailors with Wax Wings
This album came out of nowhere. Put together by R Loren of Pyramids with Ted Parsons, Aiden Baker and Colin Marsten along with a host of guest vocalists including Aaron Stainthorpe and Jonas Renkse and artwork by David Tibet, this album is a sprawling post rock soundscape with a dissonant shoe gaze black metal feel. Ted Parsons' drumming on this is brilliant. And Clash and Clash of Hoof and Heel

31. Celeste - Morte(s) Nee(s)
Imagine Deathspell Omega with an industrial influence and maybe a bit more talent. Celeste are more French black metal with a variety of influences and Morte(s) Nee(s), their third album has blown my mind consistently since I first got it. This is incredibly heavy stuff and quite brilliant.

30. Ramesses - Take the Curse
Tim Bagshaw and Mark Greening have shed the baggage of Electric Wizard with Take the Curse. This is some awesome sludgy death doom that's a whole lot better than the new Wizard and is also easily the best album Ramesses have done so far. Essential for fans of the big riff.

29. Diocletian - War of All against All
This is some really confrontational black-death metal from New Zealand. The music is incredibly abrasive and dirty and old school. There's no polish to any of this album and its all the better for it. Exhilarating from start to finish and makes you want to take a bath once its done.

28. Salome - Terminal

Salome's split from last year with Thou left me feeling that the band was set for something a bit special and Terminal pretty much lives up to the promise of those two songs. This is some intense sludge. Like hardcore made as slow as humanly possible and then made heavier. There are times on Terminal when the band sound almost drone like and they make it work. This much heaviness for a sludge band without a bass player shouldn't be possible but what the fuck do i know?

27. Melechesh - The Epigenesis
This band always left me a bit cold. Never been a big fan but the more I heard The Epigenesis the more I grew to love it. The song writing on this album and the seamless weaving together of extreme black, death and thrash riffs with ethnic and folk sounds is spell binding. Not an easy album to get into but well worth the effort.

26. Whores of Tijuana - Psycholongevity
This is some wonderfully inventive stoner rock. A variety of influences on the second album from this three piece that manages to sound original in a genre thats crowded and quite incestuous. Sure, the obvious nod to Kyuss is present but the more I listen to this album the more its apparent that the Whores are treading a slightly different path here. A real grower.

25. US Christmas/ Minsk/ Harvestman - Hawkwind Triad
Magnificent tribute to Hawkwind from 2 insanely good bands and Steve Von Till's solo project. The song choice is immaculate, the playing superb and its basically 3 of the better stoner bands around today that are covering one of the most important psychedelic rock bands ever. A must if you like hawkwind or any of the three bands involved. This is US Christmas doing Psychedelic Warlords

24. Hooded Menace - Never Cross the Dead
In just about 3 years of being together, Hooded Menace has probably become the most exciting old school death doom band around. Never Cross the Dead is a superb exhibition of doom metal. Huge riffs, melodic and heavy as fuck with some really memorable songs. We can only watch as this creature ascends

23. Starkweather - This Sheltering Night
Starkweather are a strange bunch. 2011 will see the band turn 22 years old and they are a metalcore band from back in the day when it simply meant a mix of metal and hardcore and had nothing to do with Iron Maiden or At the Gates or sickly sweet choruses. This Sheltering Night is some nasty heavy music. The songs are mostly slowed down hardcore songs that are heavy on the dissonance and with a vocalist who can get quite unsettling. Not for everyone I guess but a terrific band and a great album.

22. Undergang - Indhentet af Doden
Second album from this Danish trio and Indhentet af oden is some powerful death grind. The band sounds massive right through this album and the songs have that face ripping intensity that all of death grind strives for but few ever achieve. This blew my mind and this band is one to really watch out for.

21. Inquisition - Ominous Doctrines of the Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm
This is ripping black metal. Colombia's Inquisition has just fine tuned their sound to such an extent that these riffs are glorious and will rip your face off. Dagon still sounds like Abbath with throat cancer but his vocals are used in a better way. They used to remind me of a more chaotic Absu but with this new one, Inquisition are pretty much on their own. Terrific stuff.

20. Solace - AD
In plain speak, this rocks. Solace take bits of southern rock, hardcore and heavy metal and fashion a superb example of stoner metal. The riffs have bite, the grooves are memorable and the songs kick immense ass. The bands best album yet.

19. Drudkh - A Handful of Stars
2009s Microcosmos saw the band exploring newer sounds and A Handful of Stars is a very natural evolution. This is prog inspired black metal done right. The songs are epic, memorable and always interesting. Not something I would have previously associated with this band.

18. Legen Beltza - Need to Suffer
This Spanish band has been languishing in obscurity for more than a decade now and Need to Suffer is their 4th full length. The band plays a furious brand of thrash that owes a fair bit to the first 2 Annihilator albums and early Anacrussis but delivered with some seriously aggressive intent. In a better world, Legen Beltza would be riding high on the thrash revival.

17. Monster Magnet - Mastermind
Dave Wyndorf finally wrote the perfect hard rock album. Its full of catchy rock music and Wyndorf's made a stunning return to form. It occupies a different place in comparison to the classic albums from the band but I think the return of Ed Mundell made a huge difference to these songs. Dig that Hole, When the Planes Fall From the Sky, Time Machine.

16. Stargazer - A Great Work of Ages

Soaring epic extreme metal with frightening levels of technical prowess wrapped up in a raw old school production job. This veers from straight out attack to awe inspiring prog-metal realms and back again. Great stuff.

15. Seamount - III
Doom rock is a genre I've been hearing a lot of lately. This reminds me a lot of Thin Lizzy but updated for a modern audience. Incredibly catchy hard rock songs that occasionally go towards doom and heavy metal. Great driving music.

14. High on Fire - Snakes for the Divine
Bastard Samurai and How Dark We Pray are worth the price but the entire album's pretty great. The band sound more focused and the songs are great. They're not as ballsy as they used to be but I can't really complain about anything on this album except for that stoned Slayer riff on Ghost Neck.

13. Man's Gin - Smiling Dogs
This is the Cobalt guy's solo album. Its like Degradation Trip but with better songs and American folk music vibes. This is a terrific album full of dark but ridiculously catchy songs.

12. Weapon - From the Devil's Tomb
Weapon was my discovery of the past year. This Canadian band by way of Bangladesh, essentially play death metal but with enough touches of thrash and black metal and leads that are just classic metal. Fantastic album from another young band. Album #3 might just be a classic but From the Devil's Tomb is pretty close.

11. My Brother the Wind - Twilight in the Crystal Cabinet
Swedish jam band with some insanely good musicians. These 5 guys pretty much just landed up in the studio and jammed and recorded. Considering that, these songs are amazing in their cohesion. Sort of like Half Man but less blues and more 70s psychedelia and prog rock. There's some stunning stuff on Twilight in the Crystal Cabinet.

10. Agrimonia - Host of the Winged
This is difficult to describe. The band play a furious crusty death metal but break up the blasting with epic doom metal riffs, melodic interludes, some electronics and long periods of spacey jams. Agrimonia is like Fall of Efrafa with bite. Fantastic.

9. Negura Bunget - Virstele pamintuli
Negru's the only remaining original member and there's a definite change in sound. The opening song with the flute is incredibly eerie and sets the mood for an album that's more east European folk inspired than any of their previous albums. Stunning from start to finish.

8. Impaled Nazarene - Road to the Octagon
This is a serious return to form. The Finns haven't sounded this malevolent in a while. Road to the Octagon gave me the same kind of rush that Legion and Panzer Division Marduk did. I don't know if this has the staying power but its been a constant companion for the last few months.

7. Integrity - The Blackest Curse
This made me happy. Integrity's a band I've loved for no good reason for a while now but there are a few new bands around that make Integrity sound old and safe. Anyway, without getting maudlin, when I heard the mid paced, ominous opening riff on the album followed by girl doing spoken word bit followed by breakdown and then manic riffing and Dwid's shouting I had a big fucking smile on my face. Integrity is back. This is brutal old school metal core but its also a band trying new things and succeeding. Whether its epic and strange 8 minute songs or just the bands patented mix of thrash, hardcore and Motorhead, Integrity spew venom and hate. This is perfect music to bash someone's head in. Do not however play in car during traffic jam.

6. The Meads of Asphodel - The Murder of Jesus the Jew
The Meads have finally got the sound they needed and they've got the songs to back up their ambition. This is a sprawling concept album based on the life and times of Jesus Christ and The Meads as usual wear their distrust for religion on their collective sleeve. However, its the music that is utterly spellbinding. Black metal is now just the foundation on which the band builds an extreme metal sound that is influenced by hard rock/ metal, anarcho punk, folk and pop music not to mention a couple of absolutely stunning vocal choir pieces, acapella and terrific lead guitar parts along with the usual nods to Hawkwind and Skyclad. This is The Meads of Asphodel at their very best.

5. Killing Joke - Absolute Dissent
Its been 28 years since this line up last recorded as Killing Joke. Damn, this band's been around a while. Absolute Dissent is a friendlier beast in comparison to the 2 albums that cam before this but probably the better album as well. It's filled with memorable rock songs with totally hummable melodies and enough crunch to keep fans happy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this and the band is just continuing along the path set by the comeback self titled album in 2003.

4. Thou - Summit
Thou was fantastic in 2010. Be it the numerous splits through out the year (all collected on the awesome Rendon Singles) or on Summit, their new full length where the band added a string section, a slightly more pronounced black metal feel and took Crowbar's sludge metal sound to previously uncharted territory and made it heavier and slower. Summit is a towering monolith of doom and the best thing they've done so far. Magnificent.

3. Ihsahn - After
Man, Ihsahn's solo career has just been phenomenal. Starting from The Adversary to aNgl and now After, each album has seen the growth of the artist. I kid you not. After is another evolution in his sound, this time with the addition of the saxophonist from The Shining and the rhythm section from Spiral Architect. It's completely brilliant. I thought the man would have a tough time topping aNgl but now I have no clue how he's going to top After. I'm pretty confident he will though. Awe inspiring.

2. Horn of the Rhino - Throne of Coronation
The band has hit their own stride. It could be the magic of the third album but Horn of the Rhino are completely magnificent here. They remind me at various times of Goatsnake and The Obsessed. They get brutally heavy, have a fantastic vocalist and the doom can get both heavy and soulful. Case in point is this awesome song. Another completely brilliant album by a young band.

1. Swans - My Father Will Guide Me Up A Rope To The Sky
This sounds like the last Angels of Light album but mixed with the clanging of The Great Annihilator. It sounds like Swans. Opener No Words No Thoughts is a fantastic start with its clanging off time riff and repetition and layers of noise and Eden Prison is Swans at their hypnotic best. The album is right up there with anything the band has ever done. The abrasive exists right next to the calm and it sounds better than ever.

A for easy, B for swan

2011-01-19T05:39:00.000-08:00

I put on Overdose's Scars in the car today after ages. It was great fun singing along to all the weird sounds the vocalist makes and tomorrow I'm going to play Progress of Decadence. Happy new year to all and good cheer and greet the next 11 months with a smile and a song or cower under your blanket or simply ignore it. Whatever works for you. A new year and decade is upon me and I'm getting older. Its strange that I don't usually feel like this on my birthday but do at the start of the year. Old, old, old. I was going to write about random shit and suddenly here I am talking about my weary bones. When I pay attention to my friends they too seem to be saying the same things. Litanies to aging everywhere I look. I told my sister to watch Easy A and she asked me if my tastes were sobering down with age. Maybe they are. I also told her to watch Nightmare Detective in a desperate bid to regain some street cred. Tough times and secret relief when she said no.

I should get round to making year end lists soon but I really can't remember too many movies. Last year was one for watching tv shows of all sorts.

India just finished a brilliant test series against South Africa and drew level for the first time. The SA commentators were ridiculously partial throughout and the coverage was sucky and Ravi Shastri was the only Indian on the team but the actual cricket was fantastic. Sachin just continues to play the best cricket of his life and Kallis is, I think the greatest cricketer of the modern game. The IPL auctions also happened today and Chennai's managed to retain almost everybody except Murali who's going to Kochi and Shadab Jakati who's coming to Bangalore. Kochi's looking good as are Pune and Kolkotta and Mumbai has both Harbhajan and Symonds. And the tournament starts right after the world cup followed by tours to England and Australia. This is going to be a hell of a year for cricket. Did anybody actually think Ganguly was going to get picked? He should have retired. And lara also. Both great players have embarrassed themselves. Anyway, going to go watch Do Dooni Char. More later.

Later's turned out to be 2 days later. Oh well, Do Dooni Char was a surprisingly warm and amusing film. A slightly muddled ending but held together by excellent performances from Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh. Kapoor in particular was terrific as the maths teacher struggling to keep his family happy. Also saw Black Swan finally which in the end turned out to be more like a surreal version of The Wrestler except that it dealt with the high pressure world of ballet. It's a strange movie with an underwhelming conclusion but held together by a great performance from Portman. Vincent Cassel was great as the director of the ballet company too. The whole movie reminded me of Bergman at times and has a very distinct European feel to it. Overall, worth watching I guess.

This is going to be one long and disjointed update.

Also been watching twin peaks again. Not sure why but the coffee is still damn good.

Maybe not that long.

Love Power

2010-12-20T08:14:00.000-08:00

this ain't nothing that a pill won't cure

2010-12-09T21:39:00.000-08:00

Walking through ganja park a couple of nights ago gave me a strong feeling of deja vu. Right outside the park where a bunch of kids who were looking drunk and worried because one of their friends had collapsed on the pavement. Then just a little further ahead were a couple of kids exhaling sickly sweet smoke and looking nervous. 1997 all over again.

I think I'm back to being unsatisfied with life. A nagging feeling that things aren't turning out the way I'd like. There's nothing concrete to prove it but I can't shake this feeling. Oh well.

Desultory is one of those bands that for me has a lot of happy memories associated with it. I first got Bitterness when I was a little kid and its one of those albums that I can put on even today and sing along to every song on the album and hum the solos. Just one of those defining moments in my teenage life. The follow up and third album Swallow the Snake is till date on of the biggest disappointments in extreme metal. Now, some 15 years later the band's back with a new album and this really is the logical successor to Bitterness. The Morberg brothers are well and truly back as is their classic guitar tone. The album's good on its own merit and pretty much what I was hoping for. Death metal that made me happy and another inclusion in my shopping list.

I'm also addicted to Chuck. Its a ridiculous premise about a nerd who has all the secrets of the USA in his head and is handled by one alpha male from the NSA and one super hot blonde from the CIA. The actual spy stuff is silly and quite badly done but the rest of the series with Chuck at his work place, his eccentric colleagues, his sister and her fiancée are amusing, witty and occasionally laugh out loud funny. The scenes with the sister and the CIA agent while few and far between are very aesthetically pleasing. I'm also really looking forward to Dexter's season finale. The inclusion of Julia Stiles into the cast was a very good move. This season's wiped the floor with the last one and no more annoying Julie Benz to tolerate which was also a good move. Its also quite cool to see Angel Batista turn up in a bunch of movies, particularly as the dictator in The Expendables and then as the cop in 13. To round up my tv viewing, Boardwalk Empire is kicking some serious ass. Michael Shannon is proving to be a remarkably good actor in a cast that's full of them. Buschemi's nailed his role and makes me forget all the weird people he's played over the years. Nucky Jhonson is the most memorable anti hero on tv since Omar from The Wire. Omar's in this too but so far he's had little to do. Season 1 still has a few weeks left in its run but I'm already looking forward to season 2.

In other news I have a bunch of e mails from old and forgotten friends that I need to answer, a friend and his family to meet and return a painting. I'm really not looking forward to any of it and will probably ignore all of it except the painting which I've kind of had enough of.

Last night I had this vivid dream. I was sitting in the courtyard of the house in Khandige on my grandfather's easy chair. Feet up and reading Nightmares and Dreamscapes. My granddad turned up and proceeded to give me a lecture on gas lamps for what seemed like ages. Then we fixed the radio and went for a walk in the farm while munching on cucumbers cut from the plant right then and there. The strange part was waking up and remembering everything vividly. The stranger part was that the gas lamp conversation, the fixing of the radio and the cucumber walk all actually happened with my granddad's younger brother and I've never actually seen my granddad at all. Dreams I tell you.

RIP Leslie Nielsen

2010-11-29T04:48:00.000-08:00

Thank you for the countless laughs. You will be missed.

2010-11-24T03:21:00.000-08:00

It worries me when I update too frequently. Am I spending too much time over lunch at airlines? I'm hungry. My sweater smells of cigarettes. I need to buy flea powder for Ray. The new lesbian is awesome and the new Place of Skulls is really gay. Victor Griffin found christianity a while ago and decided to write an entire album about it. Irony? Maybe. Mostly just pathetic.

I feel like listening to Nocturnus suddenly. After years. Restless and irritated and feel like picking a fight just for the heck of it. It's also worrying that I've forgotten Powerpoint. This used to be my forte once upon a time and now its this alien tool that I sit and stare at for hours. I think I'm going to be stuck with work for a long while today. I hope I'm wrong. I want to head home and nap. Started on a UK mini series called Dead Set about a zombie epidemic set around a Big Brother tv show and it seems promising even if I'm not yet done with the first episode. Also another american show called In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne as a psychiatrist and each 20 minute episode has him with one patient. Its done really well and the first 15 minutes of episode 1 seemed very promising. Bit heavy and serious but very well acted and some 100 episodes already.

I'm a stoned jet fighter with a heart of gold

2010-11-22T08:34:00.000-08:00

I've been having the same dream every night lately. I'm driving around in my car, a gigantic ksrtc bus cuts me off, then winds up climbing onto the divider and gets stuck. I look, point, laugh and drive on. Dream over. Freudian interpretations not required.

Here's someone I should have added to my list of IWILTF. The fact that I forgot then shames me but I saw her in an ad today and all my dormant schoolboy fantasies came back to life. Not to mention that she kind of looks like my English teacher from school. Damn.

What else is happening? Not much really. I feel a desperate need to bunk work tomorrow and sit and finish masterchef Australia season 2. Not healthy and not possible.

Before I take your leave, here's an unrated trailer for Hobo with a Shotgun. Rutger gives a speech and then its just total fucking mayhem.

... and i'm really mad and i'm really old.

Ghosts of the Midwinter Fires

2010-11-18T08:33:00.001-08:00

Its been a while since I updated with anything approaching enthusiasm. I think the time has come to rectify that. After all, life seems mostly okay. Ignore all previously stated worries and move on.

There's a new Monster Magnet album and its really good. Like really really good. Like an easy 4 on 5, maybe 4.5. That alone should be reason to celebrate. One of my favourite bands that I'd kind of given up on is back and kicking ass. There's nothing on here like Bummer and the leads are very rare but that's the only problem I have with Mastermind. There's also a new Agalloch and Aborym that are rocking my world in totally different ways. The Aborym, first new album in 6 years is a very tame affair compared to the wall of sound and head fucking intensity of with no human intervention. Its catchy, groovy, at times melodic and even throws in some European techno. They've discarded the machine tools for a slightly more accessible sound and still sound killer. The new Agalloch, Marrow of the Spirit is a long solitary walk into a cold grey forest. The music exudes a certain sense of loneliness and despair that the band really hasn't hit since Pale Folklore. The neo folk bits are classic and the songs flow with a sense of purpose that was missing on Ashes against the Grain and this is the band's best in a while, which considering their awesome consistency is saying a lot.

On the other hand, the new Electric Wizard is a bit of a disappointment with its fuzzy underwhelming tone and bleak overall sound. There's very little difference between songs and overall sounds a bit rushed. Or maybe Oborne and crew just didn't smoke enough before writing this. Boring. The new Atheist ticks off all the right boxes and sounds good too but I feel like there's something missing here. The guitars sound nice and chunky, the bass is loud and the songs are quite groovy but feel is not happening. There's something missing in both these albums but not sure what yet.

In other news I am well and truly hooked on masterchef Australia. I decided to junk the tv in my room and so started to download episodes and now I stay up at night watching multiple episodes of a cooking show. Yesterday they brought back 3 of the older eliminated contestants and it left the top 7 and me fuming. So suddenly jimmy, peter and that bar tending chick are back. Wtf! And jimmy promptly makes a curry. Can this fellow cook anything apart from over spiced curries? I don't think so. Also, kind of hooked on Modern Family. The gay couple's really funny but the main men are the dad of those 3 little kids and the colombian 10 year old with the wisdom of the ancients and his big breasted mom doesn't hurt at all even if her voice and accent can grate after 15 minutes.

There was a brief moment of sunshine right now. I ran out to confirm its presence and it disappeared by the time I came back in. The rest of the day has been bleak, cold and wet.

The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit. With Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin. I know I've mentioned this previously but all I had then was a poster to go on. Now there are trailers and its going to kick ass. Matt Damon looks like an inspired bit of casting. I cant wait for christmas dammit.

Also, new Impaled Nazarene releasing in 2 days and still no leaks? O great interweb, what is wrong with thee? Where hast thine awesome power gone? Dammit!! Still, as far as teasers go, this is pretty awesome.

This Agalloch is beautiful and Marrow of the Spirit? What a fucking awesome album name. Are they post rock disguised as black-doom? Does it matter? Yes and no. This is one awesome album. It makes me want to sink into bed and hug myself. It has the potential to ruin perfectly good moods and enter into the subconscious where it'll spread till every thought is about being alone and no action is possible. I should turn it off but I can't, I can't, I can't.

2010-11-09T00:36:00.000-08:00

Sitting in airlines on another cloudy day and updating blog when I should be working. It's okay though. The bills are paid and work can wait.I'm a little bit lost. I know I'm in a situation that will probably have pretty awful consequences sometime in the future but I won't quit it and get out and its become super easy to shrug and pretend like I have no control over it but I do. I could get out and a part of my brain that speaks for self preservation occasionally screams at me to get out but I simply don't want to. I'm going to bury my head in the sand and ignore the signs. This whole deal leaves me a bit bewildered and totally utterly without direction. I know what I should do but that's the last thing I want to do. How can something that makes me happier than I've ever been also completely get me down? There's a whole bunch of new experiences involved that leave me mostly confused, nervous and agitated.Things at home aren't making my life any easier. It feels like I'm constantly asked and expected to live up to some ideal and set of rules that people judge me on. If you don't have xyz by the time you're 31 then people might think you're a failure. If you're not heading towards a family of your own by then, the same people might think something's wrong with you. It really gets me down when they do the whole soft, "look, I'm being reasonable" voice to tell me shit they know I won't like. I wish people would leave me to my own devices. Honestly. It should be up to me whether I want to die alone or with a family to hold my hand. My choice and the consequences are something that only I'll have to deal with, either way. Just ranting now and probably not making much sense. Don't really feel like talking about anything else. Later I guess.

2010-11-02T06:52:00.000-07:00

A short week. 3 days of work followed by the biggest festival of the year. Happy Diwali.
I turned 31 a while back. The entry that was supposed to mark my growing older was instead turned into an e mail, so here I am again. I think 31's left me with an ache in my bones and a perpetual fear of age. I woke up in a cold sweat last night with the number 31 flashing in my head in gigantic neon and induced a bout of sheer terror. Drama and exaggeration aside, 31 does make me feel older. Older than I felt with 30 which slid off me. 31 somehow seems more ominous. Like people are watching me now and I really have no excuse to fail at anything. I feel pressure. Its strange really. 21 was a whole lot more momentous but there wasn't any real pressure. Here, not much is going to change but I can feel some strange invisible pressure. I guess it comes down to growing old and how its finally started to suck a little bit.
In other news, I had a terrific birthday. It was the most fun I've had in years and I spent it with the only person I wanted to.

Their Hooves Carve Craters in the Earth

2010-10-12T01:56:00.000-07:00

So what else? Woke up with a queasy stomach that seemed to be making butter of my insides. It hasn't gone yet. I should be working right now but can't really be bothered. Instead, I'm listening to the new fear factory and trying not to whine to you. Life is kind of complicated and nothing's ever easy. When I whine and complain being stoned makes perfect sense. If madness is the emergency exit, ganja's like leisurely taking the stairs and stopping at whatever floor you want, whenever you want.

I grazed my palm peeling coconuts in the morning and mommy, it burns.

I saw key largo again last night. Edward G. Is just such a perfect cowardly bully you hate him but you feel sorry for him too. Bogie's the reluctant hero and that's a role he pretty much patented and when Lauren Bacall comes on screen she just lights everything up. Probably my favourite Bogie movie but Bogie, Robinson and Bacall have all been better and acted in far greater movies. John Huston's made far better movies too but somehow Key Largo utterly captivates me everytime I watch it. Then I saw Lost in La Mancha again and that's one awesome documentary. I suppose you need to be familiar with Gilliam and his movies to appreciate this but its an insight into a true maverick genius. He sounds and looks like a total pain to work with but somehow his crew seems to worship him. Horrible manager, inspirational leader and probably the finest Gilliam movie he never made.

I'm leaving work early for a puja at home. Saying hi, hello, how are you to mom's 40 friends and running up and down pretending to be busy and strategically disappearing when its time to face God. Or maybe just sit in the last row and hope he doesn't ask me any tricky questions. I want to sleep as well at some point.

I wonder if Sachin will get a knighthood when he retires. I doubt it though. Goddamn monarchy. I wonder if Michael Clark will retire before Sachin does. Possible.

Thou has yet another album out. This is a collection of all their singles and splits from 2010 and while its kind of pointless its also Thou. I'm not sure why I love this band so much but I can spend an entire day listening to the band and reading the lyrics. It usually leaves me exhausted and curled up in a foetal position by the end of it but I think its worth it. Kind of like Swans and Today is the Day. Depressing but exhilarating. I finally got the Thou-Salome split from last year and it somehow didn't make me as happy as I thought it would. Just the sourcing was more fun. I also got Peasant on LP. The first anything by Thou that I heard. This should break the windows and rattle the doors when I finally get off my ass and hook my player to my speakers. Also, if anyone reading this can help me source acts of the unspeakable and to megatherion on LP I'd be eternally grateful and buy you all the coffee you can drink. By source I mean find for cheap, not e bay extortionist prices.

Knowledge asked me about setting milestones a while back. Where do I see myself at 35? Living in my own place with a garden and having the option of being idle whenever I feel like it. Simple plan. Probably too simple to ever achieve but a boy can dream, can he not?

That's all for now I think. Maybe more later but no time for everything I want to do and real life is intruding again.

i am the leviathan

2010-10-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

Named after a particularly obscure rutger hauer movie about a dystopian society where the juggers are post apocalyptic sportsmen who play a brutal and violent version of ice hockey in the nuclear wastelands, this project with justin broadrick and bill laswell is everything you'd expect it to be and manages to throw in a few surprises as well. With help from dr. Israel on vocals and submerged for the beats, the album is at its core an electronic drum n bass exercise but coupled with Broadrick's guitar playing and Laswell's thick chunky bass the music takes on a whole new dimension. Broadrick's guitar playing brings to mind Godflesh and the punishing grooves that he patented with that seminal industrial act. The vocals of dr. israel go from rapping to spoken word and he's a cross between impassioned television broadcaster and end of days prophet. If I had the patience and time I'd give you a full review but for now this is pretty essential for broadrick fans and worth listening to if you like electronic music at all. Loads of new music over the weekend but the new kylesa sounds very good in promo form and the new intronaut might just be better than the last one. Madball has a new one too and they sound more like Pro-Pain than the last 2 Pro-Pain albums. The trick seems to be in just slightly slowing down their usual riffs. An actual fun album from Madball. Who would have thought. Wino's new album sounds like a bunch of tunes written when stoned. Maybe they sounded awesome then but the album's pretty fucking boring. The intronaut rhythm section bears a very close resemblance to reinert and malone. The clean vocals on the new one make them sound a bit cynic like too. Very cool album though.

A bird shat on me today and I was wearing my favourite shirt. It pissed me off for the rest of the day. The politicians of karnataka and my job and traffic and a friend also irritated me through no real fault of their own. I blame my sucky mood on that bird.

I'm spending a lot of time thinking. I don't like it at all.

salute to the jugger

2010-10-07T04:18:00.000-07:00

Changing channels on the TV i saw a random Saurav Ganguly dismissal and knew exactly which match they were showing the highlights of and that it was from ten years ago. I don't remember what i had for dinner last night. Clutter clutter clutter.

blank

2010-10-01T23:08:00.000-07:00

The smell of frying fish wafts down and entered my nostrils as I walk. Kaane fry happening somewhere. The streets of the village are deserted and the only other company on the road are a bunch of cows who seem to be out celebrating. One of them almost took my hand off but they seem generally to be in a good mood.

The rains have left the village and heat's been quick to reclaim its empire.

The weekend will be here shortly and my art of living class starts in a few hours. I hope to achieve some level of peace and calm after an hour of learning how to breathe.

I want more coffee but lunch needs to happen first.

I saw a particularly grim and gory movie called offspring yesterday. About a family of cave dwellers who occasionally come out to gather food for their family. Backwoods horror is generally a mean spirited grim genre and this movie is no different. May not be a Deliverance but in spite of looking amateurish the movie worked quite well. Not for the faint of heart or the delicate stomach.

I also saw Dust Devil again for the 8th time I think. There's something about this movie and the little things Stanley does to fuck with your head that is utterly captivating. Just one of those hypnotic movies. It has its flaws and its about 20 minutes too long but its still one of my favourite movies. Also, I'd like to be the projectionist in a drive in theatre in Namibia that shows bird with the crystal plumage and legend of the 7 golden vampires on a double bill. In another life I guess. I plan to watch hardware again over the weekend sometime. It has this hopeless feeling of dread and despair that's rare for a sci-fi and that hallucination scene is actually quite disturbing. Will let you know how it turns out obviously but with or without commentary? That is the question.

you mad fucker!

2010-09-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

I think you're a special kind of crazy when you're a Khandige. Whether its manufacturing your own tv from scratch, deciding to ride 300km for your engagement or beating up your patient. A special, particularly tiresome kind of crazy. Sometimes I think I fit right in, other times I wish I didn't.

I spent the weekend in a green cloud floating somewhere over can't remember and don't give a fuck. It was refreshing and I felt free. I was tired of it by sunday night which was reassuring.

New seasons for community and 30 rock and both shows seem to be having re-starting trouble. Community took half a dozen shows to be consistent first time around and I'm hoping it'll be quicker this time. 30 rock's always been inconsistent so no biggie there. What's really surprising though is Outrageous Fortune which in its 6th season is still pretty strong. If memory serves, 3 was the weakest with everyone sleeping with everybody being the main storyline but since then things in the West household have been pretty interesting.

Been listening to loads of new music, most of it awesome. Saw some movies, most of it shit.

The predators movie was prime shit as was the nightmare remake. I did see one fun horror movie though in "tormented." A fun slasher movie where the killer is the soul of a tormented boy who's taking his revenge on the bullies who made his life hell. Also saw a single man which was just terrific to look at but annoyed me. Colin Firth was great in it though. Saw this movie called get him to the greek about a fading rockstar and his record label rep's attempt to get him to the greek theatre for a huge show blah blah. there are some great gags right through the movie but its too long. Also saw Sea of Dust with tom savini and this was one of the lamest, most horrible movies I've seen yet. I didn't feel like laughing when I saw this. Not like birdemic or alone in the dark. I just sat there amazed at the stupidity of it all. This movie deserves a seperate post but for now there's this one scene that's lifted from dusted devil. Homage if you will. In dust devil, its a pivotal moment. When the movie goes from some sort of serial killer western to some sort of horror occult western. The heroine has picked up a stranger who's hitch hiking and they're speeding along a deserted highway when the heroine who's driving sees the stranger standing outside on the road waiting for a ride. In sea of dust the hero's picked up a comatose girl who's possessed by a spirit and is riding a horse drawn carriage and as he's riding along a deserted forest path he seems himself standing by the side of the path. Fuck Sea of Dust. Dust Devil needs its own post. One of these days.

Why don't more bands worship fudge tunnel? Black Sun's new one sounds like an occasionally doomy tribute to Fudge Tunnel and made me want to listen to hate songs in e minor again. Great band. Black Sun's not bad either. The Crown has a new album too, some 7 years after deathrace kings I think. Its refreshing in its lack of modern chug and groove but there wasn't a single riff that made an impression. Not good. There's a band called Weapon from Canada who came out of Bangladesh originally and their new album is some of the most refreshing extreme metal I've heard in a long time. The band does an old school death thrash thing but wrapped up in a black metal vibe. They can riff, groove, write great songs and have a total asskicker of an album in "up from the devil's tomb." This shit really impressed me. The new enslaved pretty good. The only other albums I like are eld and bloodhemn. On this new one they sound totally massive but there's also one part where they sound like U2 and sometimes seem to be trying too hard to be progressive. The band is at its best when they're doing the bm thing though. That's when they're totally on and this new album has some classic enslaved happening. This black sun album is about 4 songs too long. "Life is hunger. You will starve." Fuck it.

Note to self: When in doubt, listen to Thou.

India take on Australia in a test series starting 1st of October. I'm looking forward to it and the second test is in Bangalore and I think I'm going to go on days 3 and 4. The last test match I saw at the stadium was also india australia. Sachin made a hundred, kumble took 5 wickets and india lost. I think mark waugh made a hundred too. Anyway, clarke, ponting and hussy I want to see.

El Festival de los Viajes

2010-09-26T05:30:00.000-07:00

Epic Spaghetti Space Rock!

snacktualize it

2010-09-26T05:06:00.000-07:00

its been a really good weekend. Home alone with drugs and a crazy kitten for company. Couple of friends also. And a particularly nice mushroom and baby corn in plum wine. That plum wine really was terrific. Very nice chaser. Now, sitting at home and wondering to myself if i really have to go to work tomorrow. I'm reminded of an ancient South Canara proverb.

I think I'm going to go get another cup of coffee.

The new fear factory's really impressed me. It's way better than they really have any right to be. It gets my seal of approval and you know that doesn't come cheap. More importantly Im going to be championing the cause of Weapon over the next few weeks or till I forget. Whatever comes first.

Anyway, i sat down thinking i had so much to say and then realised i had sweet diddly. later.

FEAR the chair leg of truth!

2010-09-21T04:27:00.000-07:00

Airlines for lunch after what seems like ages. My quiet idyll shattered by two kids who are sharing the table and talking loudly about their troubles in college. Thank god for the I pod.

I'd like to take this time to address a very serious problem my village is facing. The idiot on the road. There are a whole lot of them who want to reach from point A to point B as quickly as they can. It doesn't really seem to matter that in their hurry they delay themselves and others. Case in point is Hosur road which has seen some road widening happening. Now one stretch of the road is significantly wider than the rest and the Bangalore idiot insists on speeding across the half ready road in his quest for shorter travel time. What the idiot's brain blocks from his vision is that the road narrows near the signal and idiot and non idiot alike are stuck in a monstrous bottle neck. Travel time that used to be 30 minutes at the worst of times can now last anywhere from 45 to 90 minutes. That's for a 4 km stretch. Sitting in my car and following lane discipline has become an arduous task that sets my blood to boil. Can the idiots not see what they're doing? Obviously not. I think its a deep rooted illness.

In other news, my birthday next month promises plenty. Yay!

In still other news the only forum I visit to puke my opinions is dead and slowly rotting away so I figure I may as well just stick to scrawling on you, dear diary. So what if your stretch marks obscure and cloud my words. I don't mind and neither should you. I've been in a slightly strange space where new sludge no longer gets me hard. I think it hit me when I heard Grief's ...and man will be the hunted and realised there hasn't been anything new in the genre in a long long time and most new bands are simply following the legends of the scene. There are exceptions of course. Thou continue to be legendary with a full length and split this year that ripped my face off, Rhino's just released what might become my favourite album this year although they had to change names and Howl put out a debut that just continues to grow on me. Fuck all that for a minute though. Right now the 3 albums that are constantly being played in my room, on my I pod and in my car are Killing Joke's Absolute Dissent, Stargazer's A Work for the Ages and Man's Gin's Smiling Dogs. All 3 albums have only one thing in common. They rule. Stargazer's brand of extreme metal is rough and ready and absolutely classy from start to finish with a bass player who plays like he thinks he's in Cynic. Killing Joke's absolute dissent is like a best of album with the band touching on all points of their varied discography and adding a bunch of new touches to the songs. Man's Gin is a dark, folky, mostly acoustic album that sounds like a stripped down degradation trip with immensely talented backing musicians. I'm boring myself with the name dropping. Later.

I'm hooked on master chef. Today, gay boy, tattooed rough neck and cute chick are up for elimination. I hope to get home before 9.

Still hooked on Outrageous Fortune and its season 6 and 10 episodes down and Cheryl's still in jail, wolf's moved Ugly Betty and the rest of the Wests are struggling along as best they can.
Also, RCB take on the Highveld lions today in what is a must win for both teams. After the heartbreak of the last game I'm hoping RCB kick some ass.

what you put into your head

2010-09-18T01:18:00.000-07:00

A man knocked on my door today. He asked me if I was ready for salvation. I zapped him with my omega ray. What would you have done?

Ringworm, Dim Mak, Crisis, Pulling Teeth and Runemagick. All set and nothing to do. Today was long and tiring and i had to talk and converse and be social and it wasn't so bad. The mint and chocolate mousse was especially not bad.

Tomorrow's a holiday. They haven't sighted the moon yet but holiday anyway. I had lunch with a couple of really old friends and one not so old friend. It was very relaxing. Must do this more often.

Could have slept for a couple more hours, but no, phone calls and e mails and work on a Saturday morning. At least lunch plans got cancelled and I should be grateful for that. I guess.

What else is happening? A fair bit I think but nothing I want to write down here. Not till ive understood it anyway which might be never.

The end of the world starts in Serpentine Street.

southern beast with brimstone breath

2010-09-09T02:10:00.000-07:00

Rhino went and changed their name to horn of the rhino and put another album out. I wouldn't have known if a friendly passer by hadn't mentioned it. I'm finally listening to it now and it's really good. There's also a new Death Angel and the first song has a totally classic thrash intro. Made me think of a post apocalyptic world with bikers and hot chicks but also Halford on a Harley. Abort.

The weekend was decent. The I key on my laptop is a little stuck and proving to be a pain. There's a cat and kitten that have adopted us. Kitkat and Ray. Pictures whenever.

Boring Sunday. Last few days of freedom. Not much happening right now but soon. Neil Marshall's new movie Centurion looks good in a Conan taken to Scotland via Rome kind of way. Finally got My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done and hopefully it'll live up to my expectations. Also got Killer Inside Me and the new Futurama. Bumper Sunday.

Also, I think it's time to make a proper @))( list. Soon.

Okay, later.

a gas mask is haute couture in the summer of rage

2010-08-23T23:32:00.000-07:00

not much happening really. alone at home for another 10 days or so and its mostly boring and dull. just re-started work and it makes me feel like taking a holiday again. There's a cat and her kitten that seem to be slowly adopting us and particularly the front garden and the mom loves bread for some reason. Today I found out that there's a large ginger tom that has adopted the terrace to sun bathe. He's huge and looks like he could be the dad but ran away before i even registered his presence.

In other news there's this band called Agrimonia that's giving me goose bumps. Mixing doom with crust and sludge and vaguely dissonant black metal riffing the band sounds like a darker more nihilistic Fall of Efrafa without the Neurosis like wall of sound. There's a couple of guys from Martyrdod on this and a chick on vocals that I would never have known about if not for metal archives. In other news, the new Kings of Frog Island is pretty damn solid. Still bluesy fuzzy stoner rock but with less of the QotSA sound and more of that laid back psychedelic feel they did so awesomely in the second half of II. In still other news, lots of kickass music but don't really feel like namedropping so will leave it for later.

Saw The Expendables, first day, second show and I went to the theatre with that much enthusiasm after ages and probably after Dark Night. The movie was great and watching it in the theatre really was the bomb. The first kill with Lundgren and his shotgun set the tone and right through you had references to older movies that the guys had made, personal references from Jet Li's height and Lundgren's addiction troubles to Randy Couture's cauliflower ears and a very cool scene with Willis and Arnold and some solid fight scenes made this total entertainment. The scene with Statham firing the gun from the plane, the fist fight between Sly and Stone Cold and Terry Crews' shotgun blasts in the climactic battle were awesome set pieces but the movie's just total timepass all the way through and even has a sad emotional scene for Mickey Rourke to do. Bring on The Expendables 2,3,4,5 and 6. I'll be right here. Till then, I'll just wait for Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun to quell my nonsense action needs.

There's a new Swans album out. It has some long ass name that I have a hard time remembering but essentially it's like the best bits of The Great Annihilator, Love of Life and We are Him coming together to make some of the finest music that Gira's ever put his name on. I miss Jarboe's voice but that's just nit picking on what might be the album of the year. Listen to it.

Till then, here's Shooter Jennings and Heirophant with Summer of Rage. Listen to this too.

here there be knowledge

2010-08-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

Hello. Been a while since I came here but I didn't come to talk to you. You can go back to flashing your legs and corrupting the innocent.

For a while now I've been feeling this hard cold stone in my chest. Like something trapped under my ribs and digging into my lungs. A listless lethargic defeated feeling that I couldn't shake off. The few days I spent with you shook it off and then some. I'd forgotten what it felt like to just revel in the moment. To forget everything and exclude everything and just be happy. You made me remember it and made me realise how easy it is. I saw friends and it didn't matter because you were there. Wow. This is going to be disjointed and homosexual. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but these few days were magical. Like the imaginarium. Or something. I'm happy.

I guess on the downside my routine feels even more ordinary and mundane. Like a placeholder for a spot in my life that should ideally have you and not endless cups of coffee and driving around in circles. My village feels empty and incomplete. Like something's missing and I miss you horribly. Waking up next to you, your skin touching mine and your arm over my leathery hide and our tongues ready to do battle. I miss you more now but I'm really happy too. I might still be manstruating but I'm not worrying about it. I love you. Thank you for letting me come and see you.

Srpski film

2010-07-23T04:12:00.000-07:00

i got hold of a serbian film today. i plan to watch it over the weekend. thought you should know. just in case.

saturday evening choices and plans

2010-07-17T06:13:00.000-07:00

i think there was a time when i would have reveled in a day like today. scaring the pants off a pathetic cowardly fuck was something i did for fun once upon a time and now it's this delicate job that requires planning and back up. Still worked and went off like clockwork but left me feeling a bit dirty and unhappy and alone. strange shit but then this weekend was always going to be weird.

sat down and finished season 5 of outrageous fortune and for the first time in 5 seasons it ended on a complete cliffhanger. pity, season 6 hasn't even started yet.

i'm not sure if i want to sit at home and continue feeling sad or go out and get smashed and feel sad. choices, choices.

weekend warrior

2010-07-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

I'm dreading this weekend. probably because I'm not really looking forward to it. damn.

Dirty Dozen Redone

2010-07-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

Of Ancient Memory (the Oblivion Seekers)

2010-06-28T02:21:00.000-07:00

I think this is the end now. The people who could escape have done so and the people who were stuck are no more. It's a bit scary how much of Jarboe's words I can relate to. Maybe I'm just looking and want it to but still.

as far as the eye can see heat is rising off the sand
somewhere out on this holy land time once
was held in their hands
but it bleeds now down the mountain red to the river bank
where they burn their dead
and it sinks deep in the blackest sea
to a bed of ancient memory-
the incense is sweet fills the air this night: lulls you to sleep
the past and the future are here in this fever
from the cold star that makes no sound
a cruel poison comes down as we bathe nude
in the wind, metallic blue becomes our skin
strange is the magic
the waters make no sound
strange is the magic
we lay our bodies down
love dark and tragic
we lay upon the ground
love is the magic
now we spiral round
we drink the waters
filled with delight
the past and the future
closed to our sight
no need for the wisdom
words from the sages
for here is oblivion
come down through the ages
you don't come to this place on your own
you're born to this pain it's your home
it's useless they say to run and hide
you know it's useless they pay who stay and fight
we didn't come here of our own volition
it's prophesy, apathetic contrition
and we didn't come here of a free will
to grip a silent unknown fear then lay quite still
we close our eyes, turn our face
close our mind now go away
shut your eyes and turn away
you've closed your mind but it's here to stay
in the flickering blue century
the blue eternity
blue bombs explode on the screen
blue arms outstretched as they plead
see the cold star, it makes no sound, poison comes down
it sinks in the black sea: a bed of ancient memory

valkyrie in the roller disco

2010-06-24T03:03:00.000-07:00

Bangalore born and Bangalore bred
when I dies, I'll be Bangalore dead

...with due apologies to Frank Hennessy

So my favourite blogs are dying. One by one by one like dominoes they fall. It started with boizebu then enemy of the music business, then the worried well went down and now even the relatively innocuous metalhcalbums is dead. I'm not liking this at all.

In other news, there really isn't any. I only came here so I could steal Frank's line and use it for my own selfish needs.

well done Bannakaffalatta

2010-06-16T03:29:00.000-07:00

Life's been a little confusing the last couple of weeks. A million unasked questions and elements that are in constant flux. Weariness I think, more than anything else. Tired and hopelessly lost and a little resentful of the way my life is going. I know not what I want but know this isn't it.

I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. the weekend was the weekend and then the last couple of days have seen my sleep plagued and broken by what might have been an imaginary cat and an all too real drunk friend. I have a feeling tonight may be no different. also it's bright and sunny today. after a really long while and it's really fuck all. typical doom metal weather when the sun is hidden away somewhere, a cold breeze and the constant threat of rain is where it's at. makes me happy.

i saw Rajneeti and the less said about it the better. I'm still watching doctor who and it's getting a bit hit and miss. I've started on grand dad's books and am currently reading "the streaked blond slave." turns out he also left me his collection of cuff links which i got today morning and which came completely out of the blue. Must get some shirts to go along.

meetings, meetings, meetings
they drive me up the wall
they'd like to feed me their leavings
it'll be fun to make them crawl

later.

homecoming

2010-06-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

He grinned a 32 watt grin. His tongue was pressed against his teeth and almost seemed to be oozing out from between the gaps. He was dancing without moving. He was where he'd always wanted to be. Fire all around him and it felt cold. It felt good. He stood and watched. His tongue making further progress. Squeezing and forcing its way into and through the gaps. He didn't know and even if he did it would have made no difference. This was rapture. He stared at the columns of fire and the faces he thought he knew. He stamped his foot to the thumping bass groove and kept on grinning. Even as his tongue made slow but inexorable progress through his teeth he exulted in the fact that he'd always known. This was where he'd end up. Was prepared for it. Was looking forward to it for most of his life. The music fell silent and the dancing stopped. His tongue was sticking out now. His teeth losing the battle but still fighting the war. A trace of blood on his lips, a few teeth sticking out and a few cuts on his tongue. Lost in glorious rapture, he was indifferent to the war in his mouth. He danced now. With renewed energy. Moving every limb like his life depended on it. A madman's dance, a merry go round and windmill somehow combined. He danced and his tongue sneaked out of his mouth. A brilliant red thing of indeterminate length. He danced with his feet and his hands and his hips and his head. The faces came closer and he found they came attached with bodies. He felt he should say hello but simply could not. The faces stared and seemed to be waiting. He didn't know about this bit. The fires had gone out and he was sweating. His tongue must have come into his line of vision at this time. Moving now at a noticeable rate. Cracked teeth, blood stained gums and a few standing teeth were all that remained. This war was lost. He stared at the faces and wondered where he'd seen them before and what they were waiting for. He tried saying hello again and he couldn't. His tongue inched onwards and upwards. The bright shining red seemed to move and ripple; a life of its own. When he saw her he knew it was getting to the end. As he swayed and moved to a beat only she could hear. As she made her slow but inevitable approach. As she stood in front of him, his tongue. As she reached for it and held it in a grip all at once gentle and firm. His tongue seemed to purr and became brighter. The tongue knew as well. She pulled. He danced as his tongue now stretched out infinite. She pulled hard and soft at the same time. The faces were forgotten and every sense he had was focused on the woman. As she pulled him and the tongue with her eyes and her hands.

Finally. He was home.

Watchoo talkin' 'bout?

2010-05-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

Gary Coleman died. Different Strokes, The Fantastic World of DC Collins, The Kid with the 2000 IQ and Jimmy the Kid. Used to be a regular Sunday afternoon feature at home when I was little. Whats with all my child hood idols biting the dust?

RIP Gary Coleman

our dying republic

2010-05-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

sons of liberty is the best thing Jon Schaffer's done since Something Wicked this Way Comes. This is so cheesy but i've been singing along all evening. and there's one song on this album where he's ripped off the intro from living on a prayer and used it as the main riff on the verse. i'm probably just hearing things but yeah, video. with lyrics and everything.

i hope it passes me by

2010-05-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

i've been sitting at home the last couple of days with a sty in the eye. It's reduced in size now and i feel pretty good but the pills made me woozy and i slept in the afternoon. It's made me woozy again. I hate pills. So anyway, sat at home all day and listened to music.

The Pack AD is catchy and has a couple of great songs and a great vocalist which always helps but I'll forget about them in a couple of weeks. The new Integrity's made me want to listen to seasons again and it actually sounds tame in comparison to the blackest curse. well done. In other news I've also been playing these two videos through the day.

I also saw this movie called the anatomy of murder with jimmy stewart as a defense attorney trying to get off his client who killed a guy who raped his wife. whatever. it was long and it was alright. i think the only black and white movies i like are the silent types and the heist types. riffifi came so close to doing both. I'm going back to the terrace. so bored.

those who fear tomorrow

2010-05-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

long ago. in a time and place most never knew, there was a magazine. not just any magazine. this was something called terrorizer. a beat up photo copy of the original that a friend had got his hands on from the vast and dark underground. paradise lost was on the cover plugging draconian times and inside in the album reviews section was a band called integrity and an album called seasons in the size of days. like motohead, slayer and agnostic front in a gang bang the review said. main man dwid had been arrested and then released in question with bombings and he looked like a psycho fuck. i was an impressionable boy. it took me years to track it down and when i finally found the band it was those who fear tomorrow on a beat up cassette. humanity is the devil followed in a beat up used CD sale. i finally found seasons and realised it was a good album after a bunch of great ones. Now, Integrity has a new album out. This is their first proper album since Closure in 2001 but they've had a whole bunch of splits and eps and DVDs and what not so can't really call this a comeback. So far, it's awesome and Integrity continues to be just one of those bands from a time and place that most never knew.

today was an ideal sunday. a boring early evening led to watching the milk boil for a whole fifteen minutes. watching a solid frozen block of ice slowly crumbling into liquid milk. like a world was sinking into the sea. like deep impact but boiled and not deep fried. it was fun and i managed to switch off the gas before the milk boiled over.

steve von till's as the crow flies or steve kelly's spirit bound flesh? i think as the crow flies but sometimes i'm not so sure.

suffering makes great stories

2010-05-21T02:01:00.000-07:00

no sleep. listening to blut aus nord and making a play list that's crossed the 100 hour mark. bored. waiting for the evening. done with lunch and another light drizzle. blame it on Laila.

Dwid's back. It's no season in the size of days but it'll do.

one hand to hold down and the other to panic
one eye on the task at hand and the other on escape
one half right here and the other in bed

strength through shopping

2010-05-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

She asked him to pee on her face. He ran out of the house screaming. I blame it on the heat.

This year's shopping list is going to go totally out of control. I can feel it. I need new cabinets and a nice looking shelf. I'm stacking books on the floor and I've long since stopped trying to order my CDs alphabetically.

You know, after a couple of long hard days at work with crazy shit going on it feels good to sit down for a couple of noisy beers and watch as your friend's evening goes into the shitter. Most laughs I've had in a while.

I met some interesting people today. Interesting for all the wrong reasons. If you're husband gets to be cultural secretary then do you get to be the first lady of culture? I hope not. It's 11:27 pm and I really should get down to work. It depresses me and makes me very very irritable. Whine whine whine.

I might have a gk party at home next weekend. I hope to see things through and have time left over for the clean up. I need to get less fucked up over the weekends. Especially when I'm outside. Saturday morning's have not been fun for a while. I have vague memories of actually getting up around breakfast time and heading out to Airlines on Saturday mornings. Spending the entire morning and afternoon there and heading back home only to doll up for the weekend.

My parents are regarding me with suspicion. They always have and they've always known when something was up.

I'm getting new perspectives on how much parents will do for their children. I saw a strong man bend till his nose touched the floor. For his child. It blew my mind.

Tom G. sounds a bit hoarse but Eparistera Daimones is awesome.

Mickey Rourke seems to have become the flavour of the day with Iron Man 2. I think he might even kick Downey's ass but will hold the opinion till I've actually seen it. Anyway, turns out a bunch of local art fags have been catching up on Barfly and and a couple, even 9 1/2 Weeks. What did they watch when they were in school? How come no one ever mentions Johnny Handsome and Bullet. I hope I can find that clip on Youtube with Rourke and Whitaker and the Halloween story and just about any scene in Bullet that has Rourke in it. Those two movies need to be seen.

an inheritance

2010-05-09T02:28:00.000-07:00

So today I finally pulled out granddad's books. 16 years after they moved next door and 16 years after the books were meticulously packed away by him. It was mostly old medical journals and texts and books, what seems like hazaar 70s and 80s bestsellers, puzzle books, Shakespeare and about 7 copies of the Bhagvad Gita. Buried among all of this though was what I'd been looking for. My summer holiday reading every year I went to Mangalore. Every year grand dad would pick and choose a row of books that I could read and the rows that I wasn't old enough for.

Erle Stanley Gardner
I moved to Perry Mason about a year after I was done with the Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes I think. Nice to see these again.

The Case of the Fiery Fingers
The Case of the Singing Skirt
The Case of the Foot Loose Doll
The Case of the Cautious Coquette
The Case of the Vagabond Virgin
The Case of the Ice Cold Hands
The Case of the Mythical Monkeys
He Case of the Mischievous Doll
The Case of the Shapely Shadow
The Case of the Horrified Heirs
The Case of the Deadly Toy
The Case of the Beautiful Beggar
The Case of the Half Awakened Wife
The Case of the Green Eyed Sister
The Case of the Dangerous Dowager
Fish or Cut Bait

Ian Fleming
I wasn't allowed to read the James Bond books or see his movies for the longest time. At least not under parental supervision anyway.

You Only Live Twice
For Your Eyes Only
Octopussy
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
The Man with the Golden Gun
Moonraker

James Hadley Chase
I still remember the first time I read No Orchids for Miss Blandish. It was a harrowing experience and also the first Chase book I ever read. Nothing ever came close to it after that but I think this was also when my love affair with pulpy crime fiction first started.

A Lotus for Ms. Quon
Cade
The Wary Transgressor
This Way for A Shroud
You Find Him – I'll Fix Him
The Sucker Punch
No Orchids for Ms. Blandish
Miss Shumway Waves a Wand
Mission to Sienna

Mickey Spillane
"I'm not an old man. I'm a young man something happened to." There's a million quotable quotes from Spillane and I love the man. These just put a big smile on my face.

I, the Jury
The Big Kill
The Long Wait
The Deep
The Body Lovers
My Gun Is Quick

Edward S. Aarons
I have no idea who this dude is or what the books are about but man the covers and the titles had me hooked the minute I saw them.

Assignment: Nuclear Nude
Assignment: Peking
Assignment: Carlotta Cortez
Assignment: Mara Tirana

Edgar Wallace
More classic crime fiction. More big smiles.

The Calendar
The Feathered Serpent
The Clue of The New Pin
The Gunner
The Yellow Snake

Carter Brown
The one series of books that totally had me curious. Just look at the titles and the covers. Damn.

The Streaked Blond Slave
The Ice Cold Nude
Who Killed Dr. Sex
So What Killed the Vampire
The Dance of Death
Sweetheart This Is Homicide/ Madam, You're Morgue Bound

Leslie Charteris
The dude who created the saint who was much much later played by Val Kilmer and a totally unexpected find.

The Saint on Guard
The Avenging Saint
The Saint Steps In

John Creasy
Another British crime writer most famous for his Toff and Gideon series.

The Toff in Wax
The Toff on Fire
The Man I Killed
Gideon's Badge
Wait For Death

I also have about 30 westerns that I'm too lazy to list and about another 30 really dodgy pulp fiction with naked chicks on the cover that I have absolutely no recollection of ever seeing. Must have been hidden away for most of their lives. Turning into quite a good Sunday and continuing to find out more about grand dad. Good times.

abcdefg live

2010-05-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Live videos from the tour to support ABCDEFG are finally out and here's a couple.

This is probably my favourite song from the new album. It's simple and yet so damn powerful...

Then this one's just super fun....

so much to do and so little time

2010-05-05T06:33:00.000-07:00

I had a terrific apricot and peach cheese cake today in the hole in the wall. I like the vibe there even if it is too damn small.

Feeling tired and sleepy and decided to give up on coffee house so I could update you instead. Are you grateful? You should be, you sniveling little drama queen.

Goatsnake's set from Roadburn is making it's way round the internet and one of these days I'm going to send a fatty, put on my headphones and pretend I was there.

Bored and tired and sleepy but there's work to be done and the fear of unemployment to be put in people. Later.

the work ethic myth

2010-04-21T02:03:00.000-07:00

The Work Ethic Myth

We have paved the roads that have led to our own oppression. Fear of the unknown, of rejection, has put brutes and villains in power. The fetters that restrict our arms and throats were cast by our own hands, just as we have set our own guards at the door. We drag boulders a thousand leagues to erect their palaces. We have established a system of education that celebrates sacrifice and creates generations of slaves. Hold hands in a ritual of deception. Hold hands in a ritual of desolation. Hold hands in a ritual of self destruction. We are the accomplice class: footstools for our masters, spineless bastards all.

this and that

2010-04-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

Is all well? I hope so but I doubt it.

Holiday today. Ambedkar Jayanthi and Vishu together or some such shit. Already bored and that sick feeling at the pit of my stomach seems to have settled in and got itself a solid grip. Today would have been perfect to spend in coffee shops all day with the cool breeze, coffee and cigarettes. Back to not being sure why I'm doing what I'm doing. Back to being mildly irritated and generally dissatisfied.

I'm going to airlines in a bit. Then hopefully some shopping will put me in a better mood.

arundhati roy must die

2010-04-06T12:13:00.001-07:00

hello again. bored. another sober night. another peaceful day. most of today went by like a slow goods train. i watered the plants today. that was my highlight.

i have nothing to say. at all. not sure why i'm bothering with this at all but what the hell, why not? not like i have lots to say otherwise. i'm really in the mood to watch the wire again. i tried watching love, sex and dhoka and lasted about 15 minutes. seemed like utter shit. i'm quite glad i stopped going to the theatre to watch hindi movies that i thought would be vaguely interesting. striker was alright in parts i guess but mostly pretty shitty as well. i also finally saw naan kadavul which managed to live up to all the hype and managed to disturb the shit out of me for about 15 minutes after it was done. not bad.

i hope to one day live a life of complete and utter dishonesty. till then all i can do is strive.

i think i like typing shit out without capitalizing.

oh, mom made her cream and fruits thingy today but her friends ate almost all of it.

sick of it all rock and i can't wait for the new album. if the song is anything to go by then the album should be awesome.

i need to hide or block a whole bunch of people on my gtalk and facebook but i've already hidden 30% of my facebook friends and i still have annoying people.

also, tired of getting myspace links on my gtalk. it's become almost impossible to just talk to the people i want to talk to without getting bombarded with a bunch of have you seen this/ heard this/ fucked this nonsense. I do not want to check out new bands/movies unless I find it somewhere and decide i might like it. understand?

then, what else? not much. chalo, later man.

Omar coming

2010-04-01T03:03:00.000-07:00

Sitting around in the afternoon with nothing to do and watching clips from The Wire.

Some sort of tribute to the character Omar from the show. I like this song and the video's pretty cool.

2010-03-29T04:17:00.001-07:00

"I want to be normal."

"But, you're not."

"I could be if you'd let me."

hallways of always

2010-03-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

I hope to turn the key around and walk right out into blinding sunlight so white that I cannot help but fall to my knees and say, “Thank You.”

There's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like something terrible is going to happen. It's a feeling I can't shake off. Fucking drained man. I kid you not. I think it's generally the last few days. No sleep, my knee's been hurting again after a few years and I think I've had my fill of people and their curiosities. For a while.

This is the story of Tired and Tiresome. Two brothers who couldn't help but walk hand in hand to torment a poor soul who only needed to sleep. Wanted to sleep. There was no sleep, alas! The poor soul drifted and Tired and Tiresome took what they could. I think life is funny sometimes. I'm in a deep philosophical mood. I'm waiting for it to pass.

Fuck, the new Negura Bunget is worth every penny. This is really powerful shit. The opening song with the flute is the most haunting tune I've heard in a while. I feel like talking about this one will spoil the listening experience. Wow. Treat this with the reverence it deserves.

I wish Herzog had made Pagannini and not left Kinski to his own devices. Europeans and their names, no?

I'm off to watch Kinski doing Jesus Christ. Later.

the embalming of gods

2010-03-21T22:40:00.000-07:00

I think I need to do something. About this constant need to fill you with garbage. I hope to keep away from certain elements. Make restitution to others. I need a new hobby. Something different. Don't worry. I intend to keep you around. Your secrets are mine to keep and keep them I shall. I'm getting to know more and more people. It's like as I grow older my list of acquaintances just keeps growing. I'm not sure what to make of it. Also, the Airline's gang is gone. It's over. Change has come and I find myself a remnant of something that has ceased to be. I missed it also. Like no idea when The End happened. The coffee still kicks ass and the service seems to have actually improved. Everything is more expensive now though. I think the music was on too loud. I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll wake up fresh and full of energy. I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll finish Declare and the djinns will live and Elena will die. I'm hoping Brokeback Mountain's actually worth the hype. I've got a couple of hankies in case it is. Today's match was a disgrace. What happens when you can predict a game like it's a Bollywood script. Unbelievable. Pune and Kochi get new teams. For astronomical sums of money. I want the Bangalore team to stay as it is. Keep all the South Africans. Kumble as captain for one more year. Praveen Kumar, Pandey, Dravid and Uthappa and we're set. Yes I realise I just said we. Can't help it. My village and it was awesome to watch them all play.

Got some business to take care of. Excuse me. (This Triptykon is one awesome band. I'm really liking this and have a sudden hankering towards the procurement of some Red Harvest CDs)

in shrouds decayed

2010-03-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

I am your shrine, i am your womb
you'll rest inside of me, my flesh, I'll be your tomb.

Your words they came through foulest rain
A shroud of no good lies wrapping your remains

Your body draped next to mine
And hell ignores us; they've chosen to be blind

as if nothing existed here

2010-03-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

I sit. Weary. Aching back and stiff shoulders. Bleary eyed and not sure what the time is. Or the day. I sit and wait for sleep. Sometimes I hope for it. Sleep's eluded me for months now. Since the big three O. I miss the swamp and everything that comes with it. I miss the swamp and its endless night. I miss the swamp. It used to scare me and then it didn't. The swamp became a refuge. I was up in it. Literally. Up to my neck. Then I stopped sleeping. Whats going on? I think I'm losing my mind. I think thats mostly whats going on.

I have a hundred rifles. Raquel Welch is in all of them. I'm listening to Tryptikon as we speak. Tom G Warrior's new band. Continuing along the merry lines of Monotheist. They're playing Roadburn too. I have a ridiculously large shopping list and it's only March. I shudder but grit my teeth and make a list.

I hope to one day own an island. That would be fun. With a waterfall or two and not too many bugs. Environmentally controlled would be preferable. Like a bubble or like Springfield in the movie but an island.

One of these days.

It seemed like we were traveling from signal to signal. Cutting our way through traffic, polluting the village with our cruel wit and cheap laughter. A hundred pointless Fridays. We thank God for this.

sick transit gloria mundi

2010-03-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit with Jeff Bridges filling in for The Duke. Wow. That news really cheered me up. Like wow man!

In other news not much is happening. I'm bored and a little tired and waiting for a phone call. Sad state of affairs. What to do i say? I kind of like it. My time on this earth is limited but I shall strive to be as retarded as I can be. No offence meant to the special people. I think I'm really happy and my room feels like my fucking room when I'm playing music. When my speakers are set and I'm sitting in the middle it's just perfect. Long play list happening. Farflung, Kongh, Orthodox, Red Harvest, Pensees Nocturne, Neurosis and Chumbawamba. I really like ABCDEFG.

I think in my humble opinion. Some would disagree.

Bored. It's worries me a little that people on my facebook always have shit they've done, are doing, have done and opinions and how come no one's ever bored. I'm fucking bored all the time. I think that's what really annoys me about facebook.

I'm off to see my first IPL match tomorrow. It should be good. Bangalore Vs. Rajasthan. Warne Vs. Kumble. 2 master tacticians finally going head to head. I'm backing Bangalore. Kallis looks great, Kumble's bowling well and Praveen Kumar is very effective. I'm liking Pandey as opener and Uthappa was terrific in the last game. Rajasthan basically has Yusuf Pathan and Warne. Looking good.

bongs away

2010-03-15T03:34:00.000-07:00

Hello. it's been a while. Not a long while but some while at least. Life is moving at a very fast and predetermined pace and I'm struggling to catch up. Most times I'm only reacting as things happen around me and occasionally I'm letting things happen to me. It's a mostly liberating experience except for the catching up bit which is a little tiring.

The bong has been put away, the chillum has been relinquished, the bags have been packed and sealed and put away. I hope the bathtub doesn't feel lonely tonight.

I'm beginning to feel a slight and new sense of responsibility. It's there but not really adding anything in terms of weight. More when I figure it out I guess.

Sleep still plays truant. Rest continues to avoid his responsibilities. The rest of my relatives are doing well.

The Tim Powers book is progressing very nicely. For some reason I can never remember the titles of his books. I'll remember the stories, I'll remember specific scenes but no idea what the books are called.

I'm listening to gunshots amidst the early morning chirping of birds. It's not happening outside my window. It's not happening outside my window.

Tomorrow's a holiday. Today was almost a holiday. I'm done and dusted and considering a shave.

This Salem is a pretty good band except for a very muffled drum sound and slightly weird female vocals.

I think for the most part things are.

I think I'll leave in a bit and get that shave. I'd also like a massage and some time in a sauna. Preferably the non Finnish types.

I hope to finish some pending work this week. Long pending.

Then I might start on something new, wonderful and full of hope for a better tomorrow. Or I might just sleep.

"Don't anger the voices," she said. I think I'll listen.

the chasm rock!

2010-03-15T03:05:00.000-07:00

We're aware now of a woman with a forged Canadian passport who flew from Istanbul to Beirut yesterday morning and a Beirut taxi driver remembers driving her to the Rue Kantari, where Philby lives, at sunset. She was carrying a case for a music instrument the size of an alto saxaphone. We made the Istanbul head get whatever he could from the room she had vacated: but the room had been cleaned and all they found were two slips of paper in the waste bin – on one was written, “Bueno Ano” and on the other “Medio Ano.”

It's been a while. The cold war is familiar, comforting and fun. Who needs terrorists and the Russian mafia when you can get the KGB. The magic is still only hinted at and I'm hooked. Will keep you updated.

Bugger, not done. There has to be some limit to your laziness. Pass the joint. Don't throw it.

I saw a place called Deja View Apartments. I want to go back there.

i like this

2010-03-05T23:50:00.001-08:00

black jack jack black more cash less back

2010-03-05T23:28:00.000-08:00

i broke my 30 game losing streak last night. It went up to 45 before I managed but I did eventually break it. Or maybe the dealer did.

long fucking day

2010-03-04T07:52:00.000-08:00

long fucking day today. really long. not a lot else to say but i'll leave some pics and a video here to stare at later.

I like this more than the original

dirty dozen 2

2010-03-01T02:32:00.000-08:00

I thought of calling this post dirtier dozen and then thought better of it. This is basically my part 2 of famous, beautiful women I want to do.

Angelica Huston just looks so fucking dangerous. She's intimidating in a way that makes me think of knives and burns and hot candle wax and all sorts of terrible things. She can do whatever she wants to me pretty much.

Debbie Harry has that whole combination of pretty, cute and innocently hot.

I was on a huge Tilda Swinton trip a while back which started with Julia and ended with Orlando. I want to go to there.

Heidi Klum. Looking at her photographs just makes me happy.

Faye Dunaway. There's something really bitchy about her. Maybe just her movie roles or whatever but damn she can be totally sizzling.

Not sure why I needed 3 photographs of the Dame but I did and she's still just as pretty.

I first saw Marianne Faithful in a Metallica video. She's awesome. What else to say?

Shaitan. That and an issue of playboy in French are my only two reference points but man Roxanne Mesquida is uber hot.

I once saw all of The Princess Diaries just so I could see Anne Hathaway. :(

Anna Paquin. The Darkness and 25th Hour. Leave all of that X Men crap at the door.

Vera Farmiga. She so pretty. That is all.

Salma Hayek first came to my attention with her dance in From Dusk till Dawn. After that, she's just been getting hotter and also somehow prettier.

I think that's a dozen. It's a slightly uneven list but every single women here is quite beautiful. So I guess it's alright.

the evening redness in the west

2010-03-01T01:03:00.000-08:00

When the lambs is lost in the mountain, he said. They is cry. Sometime come the mother. Sometime the wolf.

I first heard of Cormac McCarthy thanks to the Coen brothers and No Country for Old Men. When i saw that movie I was blown away by the dialogues and then when I read the book I found that all of the awesome writing came straight from the book. The Coens only had to cast and shoot. Anyway, that set me off on a search for more McCarthy and after the depressing Outer Dark and the coming of age western trilogy of All the Pretty Horses, The Crossing and Cities of the Plain I finally got my hands on Blood Meridian or The Evening Redness in the West.

McCarthy's west is quite unlike anything John Ford, Peckinpah or even the epic honour bound west of Leone. Instead, McCarthy's wild west is a savage unforgiving land where the only code is one of survival and honour is something no one's even heard of. The book begins with a boy referred to only as the kid as he leaves his home and sets out on a journey with no real destination. He joins the Glanton gang after some severe bad luck and comes into contact with Judge Holden. The Judge is a terrifying huge man, a polymath, ambidextrous and seemingly invincible. With the judge leading the motley group on an Indian scalp hunting mission across the border of Mexico the book basically becomes a tale of violence and survival. Seen through the Kid's eyes for the most part except when the character of the Judge threatens to overpower everything in it's path.

The violence in the book is only there to describe the nature of man and the extent he will go to to survive. The gang is a tight unit who describe all men of colour as nigger except the black man who rides with them and hunts with them. All men are equal and a part of the gang as long as they can shoot and scalp. The journey through the Kid's eyes is one of marked indifference. There's little the Kid thinks about. He thinks the Judge is full of shit but he follows him through hell and back. The judge is evil in a manner that is cold, intimidating and always carefully under control and held tight.

The scenes of slaughter are told with a detachment that makes it horrifying and McCarthy quite obviously loves his violence but never over plays his hand. Whether it's the Judge killing a young Indian boy he's rescued from a massacre, killing Mexicans and passing off their scalps as Indian or the lone black man in the party killing his namesake who keeps calling him nigger, the violence is always brutal but also always understated.

The book ends with the Kid bumping into the Judge again years after the scalping party. The two meet in a bar with a dancing bear working its magic on the bar and the Kid is now the Man. The Judge refers to the man as the 'last true dancer' and the Man still thinks the Judge is full of shit. Eventually the Man is attacked by the Judge although it's unclear if it ends in some serious sweaty fucking or if the Judge simply kills the Man.

The book finally comes to an end with the Judge dancing in a bar and proclaiming his immortality and an epilogue with a lonely figure marking fence holes in the ground with a bunch of people following him on the trail. It feels like the Wild West is over and done with and man has finally claimed this land.

This book blew my mind and along with the Border trilogy pretty much gave me a new outlook on the Wild West and the savagery of man. For those of you who read this but can't be bothered with the book, check out Ben Nichols and his Last Pale Light in the West. An absolutely awesome though thoroughly depressing set of 7 songs based on the book.

And the answer, said the judge. If God meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind would he not have done so by now? Wolves cull themselves, man. What other creature could? And is the race of man not more predacious yet? The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night. His spirit is exhausted at the peak of its achievement. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day. He loves games? Let him play for stakes. This you see here, these ruins wondered at by tribes of savages, do you not think that this will be again? Aye. And again. With other people, with other sons.
The judge looked about him. He was sat before the fire naked save for his breeches and his hands rested palm down upon his knees. His eyes were empty slots. None among the company harbored any notion as to what this attitude implied, yet so like an icon was he in his sitting that they grew cautious and spoke with circumspection among themselves as if they would not waken something that had better been left sleeping.

wake up wake wake up

2010-02-28T00:01:00.001-08:00

the good old days

2010-02-27T23:43:00.000-08:00

You know how every now and then i crib about how badly i used to get wasted in the old days? and how I don't anymore? I think I'm wrong about that. Last night was epic. I think it was epic because I don't remember a lot of it. I remember You Give Love a Bad Name, the jaeger and the vodka but not much else. Also Final Countdown. That I remember. No recollection of coming back home either but I woke up in my own bed and there was a large empty bowl of chocolate mousse cake on my table. Which reminds me, one of the benefits of going to the same place for over ten years for your coffee and pizza is that you can go there after closing time and guilt trip the waiters into turning the ovens on again and get pizzas in the middle of the night. I could have really done with a chocolate frappe also but I figured asking them to turn on the blenders also would just be overkill.

Got conned by a very drunk dealer last night. Shame on me.

I'm on some really crazy high on fire trip. NP: High on Fire - Blood from Zion

bruised, bitten and torn

2010-02-25T01:33:00.000-08:00

It's hot in the village. Like crazy burning hot. I'm sitting in an air conditioned room with my feet crossed and folded and dreaming of ice cold beer and hoping for rain. It seems it rained in parts of the village yesterday. I think it's pinko commie propaganda and all a lie. It's crazy hot.

The weekend just past found me happier than I've been in a long long time. Now that it's gone I'm annoyed and grumpy and would probably do well to hang a stay away sign around my neck.

Sachin scored a double century in a one day game yesterday. Something I thought was never going to happen with an India. It was a truly spectacular innings and I didn't miss a single ball that was bowled to him. Dhoni batted like his old self yesterday and it's nice to see him just come out and slaughter the bowlers. I thought we were done with that. Overall, it really was a spectacular batting display.

I'm annoyed and tired and sweaty and grimy now. Want to go home, want coffee, want a smoke and some lime juice. I want and want and want. I'd be surprised by my greed if I wasn't so used to it.

Devil went down to Jamaica

2010-02-18T03:40:00.000-08:00

bones

2010-02-15T04:15:00.000-08:00

This women looks so damn familiar just looking at her now gives me a headache. I'll be fucked if I can remember who but.

galas and the gloomy sunday

2010-02-09T00:40:00.000-08:00

It's hot out. Luckily, no plans to venture out till 6 at least. Then another evening spent doing nothing or the same thing depending on the mood I'm in. It's hot out. The new Rotting Christ album sounds a bit mechanical and weird. It's great after one listen and some truly awesome solos and a fantastic reworking of Diamanda Galas's Orders from the Dead.

I spent most of last night watching Galas's videos on youtube. I don't know why. She depresses me more than Gira and Jarboe put together. Her version of O Death is truly haunting while Orders from the Dead is probably the single most depressing song ever written. Worse than Failure. This her doing Gloomy Sunday.

liz lemon life lesson

2010-02-08T20:46:00.000-08:00

I watch as a thick fat globule of phlegm makes it's way out of his mouth. It arcs perfectly and bounces a couple of times off the road. I've never seen spit bounce off anything before. Something new everyday. I made some special chocolates. They're a little more special than I anticipated. It comes and goes and comes and goes and people will say I have no shame. Such is life. Hard, bitter, the mistakes I make are mine to swallow. I revel in it.

Today was another strange and mostly ridiculous day. I ate some really spicy food and now my lips are burning. Terrible. So anyway, this is not the same. This is boring. I find myself hoping for the world to end. Occasionally.

I feel like writing some poetry. I'll hold my breath and wait for the feeling to pass. I think I deserve thanks. Season 4 of 30 Rock and Tracy Morgan has some great lines. I used to have a crush on liz lemon. I will not lie and I think I'd still hit it.

I'm feeling a bit hungry. Little bit. I'll hold my breath and wait for the feeling to pass. I think I'll watch some television and hope for sleep. Later.

the kings of speed are off the road

2010-02-01T23:43:00.000-08:00

So I'm back to working at my own place. After almost 6 years I think. It's mostly good. I say mostly because yesterday with no warning at all after 6 months of complete absence the acid came back. I think it's the work but what am I going to do? Give up coffee and eat curd rice every night?

my love

2010-01-19T23:52:00.000-08:00

http://www.links2love.com/poem_generator.htm

Your skin glows like the pineapple, blossoms sexy as the jasmine in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your bongo voice and leaps like a cat at the whisper of your name.
The evening floats in on a great crow wing.
I am comforted by your hat that I carry into the twilight of chairbeams and hold next to my big toe.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of whiskey.
As my ears falls from my shirt, it reminds me of your girl.
In the quiet, I listen for the last screech of the day.
My heated wrist leaps to my boxers. I wait in the moonlight for your secret bird so that we may fly as one, wrist to wrist, in search of the magnificient blue and mystical bus of love.

Yes, I'm utterly jobless and very very bored.

2009 and the movies

2010-01-18T23:55:00.000-08:00

I saw loads of movies this year. Maybe more than at any other time in my life. These are my ten favourites from last year in no particular order.

Inglourious Basterds

Tarantino's best yet I think. This movie shows the director in top form. While before the set pieces in his movies were either over the top action sequences or clever dialogue loaded with pop culture, here it's pacing, tension, a strong story and some absolutely terrific performances, chief among them being Col. Hanz Landa a cheerfully sadistic German officer.

Bronson

Nicolas Winding Refn first came to my attention with his uber grim Pusher trilogy and Bronson is his new movie based on the life of one Michael Peterson who is Britains most violent prisoner played by Tom Hardy in breathtaking style. The movie's alright on its own but with hardy's absolutely stunning performance it becomes a bit special. On par with The Wrestler in terms of one absolutely crushing central performance making the movie a lot better than what it is.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Wes Anderson's take on a Roald Dahl story about a chicken thief fox who's given up on the thievery only to go back to it for one last hurrah. His targets are the three most dangerous farmers in the world and his exit from a life of thievery is a grand triple header. Excellent cast and the whole stop motion thing works really well. Willem Dafoe as Rat is a show stealer and the movie on the whole is actually quite fantastic.

The Limits of Control

Jim Jarmusch's new one with the ice cream seller from Ghost Dog, and a whole bunch of cameos. I'm still not sure if this movie is specifically about anything. It's basically about a man who may or not be involved in diamond smuggling, the people he meets and his last job which is to kill a man. It's vague and never really explains anything but man, it's a trip from start to finish. The soundtrack by Boris helps too.

Thirst

Park Chan Wook's take on the vampire tale about a Catholic priest who turns into a vampire. His lust for human blood increases as does his desire for sex and everything goes horribly wrong soon enough. Not as steeped in melodrama as Lady Vengeance I guess but a fine tuned movie with some great performances and terrific atmosphere.

The White Ribbon

Michael Haneke's new movie about a little German village and the goings on there just prior to World War I. Bad things start happening in the village as narrated to us by the school teacher who himself is an old man now. Children are dying, people are getting hurt and no one's quite sure what to make of it. Haneke gives us no explanation or rationalisation for any of the happenings and everything is left unresolved with the breaking out of World War I. This movie just held me spellbound.

The Hurt Locker

I don't like war movies. never have and probably never will. The Hurt Locker is an exception to the rule probably because it's about people fighting a horrible pointless war and what makes them tick. Another solid central performance from Jeremy Renner as the reckless bomb disposal sergeant and some really tense scenes made this a really impressive movie.

Julia

Another fantastic performance, this time from Tilda Swinton as Julia, an alcoholic middle aged no hoper who decides to take up her neighbour's offer to kidnap her son away from an evil grandfather. The movie's pretty good but Swinton is spectacular.

Bad Lieutenant

I think Cage and Herzog should make a few more movies together. I thought this was going to be a remake of the grim and nasty original Bad Lieutenant with Harvey Kietel but its not. This is Herzog's own take on the film about a corrupt cocaine snorting cop in post Katrina New Orleans. Cage is fantastic as the corrupt cop investigating the murder of an entire family. Eva Mendes is his hooker girlfriend and has never looked as hot. She can also act surprisingly enough but really this is a Herzog/Cage show and it rules.

Martyrs

IMDB lists this as 2008 but fuck it, this has to be the most intense and downright disturbing horror movie in a long long time. Enough said.

2010-01-18T23:42:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning to a steady stream of phone calls and guilt tripping. Sometimes, people just won't let you be.

happy birthday bugger

red eyed and thirsty

2010-01-15T01:09:00.000-08:00

So here we are again. There's an eclipse afoot and I'm pretty sure some virgins somewhere are being sacrificed. I've been told not to go out and not eat anything. Even got a phone call to make sure I was indoors. I'm hungry and restless and idle and that old cliché about idleness is very true. Bored and lonely, red eyed and thirsty. Also hungry and restless. Still.

I made a new compilation for the car. Yes, I was that bored. I thought last night that I would be productive today. Clean my room, catch up on some stuff etc and right now I have no mood for anything. I hooked up my speakers and Alkaline are doing their weird dub thing and it's all really a mood thing. I think too much when I'm like this.

I think I should sleep. Fantastic Mr. Fox really was quite fantastic. I hope it comes to the theaters here. In the Woods doing White Rabbit. What a fucked up crazy band. I need some In the Woods CDs. Later.

We are Gods dreams.

I think I need exercise. This laziness is getting tiresome. Jet City Woman after what seems like ages. Crows outside. Also a huge bat that terrorizes the night sky just outside my window. Traffic's back on the street. Is the worst over? I hope so.

A man walks into a bar and says “gimme a baccardi and coke”
The back of beyond repair welcomes the broken and the broke

mutual respect and peace

2010-01-08T00:33:00.000-08:00

and she walked

2010-01-06T02:23:00.000-08:00

Do you know women who become more and more attractive as they grow older? I do. This post is about one of them. It's about me also. Maybe. Mostly about her though.

12:40pm Lunch break. Everyone's out. Inmates trying to make the most of the 35 minutes on offer before going back to the torture chambers. There's chaos. Noise; both human and machine. The jocks are heading to the basket ball court. The smokers are heading for the road. The nerds are heading to the library. Father's looking, hands on hips, magnifying glass firmly entrenched in his pocket. And then she starts to walk.

Not a blade of grass on the back lawns. Not the leaves on the Ashoka trees. Not the boys playing basketball. Hell, not even the ball. Nothing moved when she walked. When she started from the back and walked all the way out of college. It was like the world stopped to watch her walk. 12:40 pm, every single afternoon. Lunch break was forgotten. Time moved on, we stood still and she walked.

Mr. Kennedy started talking about controlling impure thoughts in Tuesday morning value education classes. I started visiting the graveyard. She still walked out everyday and we all still watched.

Yes. Me too. I watched her walking out. I had a vantage point. Unfortunately I didn't have motivation. My maroon tinted vision just made everything seem pointless and it didn't help that both her brothers were my corex buddies.

Then one day at about 12:45pm maybe, she crossed the road. Came right up to where we were sitting. Regarded us with an icy fucking stare as she lit her navy cut.

“You're dropping me home. Let's go.”

Everything went sort of dark when she told me I was dropping her home. Everything disintegrated into sheer panic when she told me to come in. I fainted when I finally realised she'd been calling me by name.

I remember afternoons spent locked in a tiny room listening to her dreams, to her plans and wondering why I had none. Mornings spent walking through the graveyard talking about death and being morbid. Looking at each other through clouds of grey smoke from morning to dusk and breathing in that sickly sweet stench as if it would make us immortal and then doing the same thing every day for the next six months. She knew it was only a matter of time before everything ended. She knew this entire scene came with an expiry date and sure enough, everything ended. One whole scene. Like 2012 with fewer survivors. It had to.

We stopped our morning walks in the graveyard once the last body was buried, we slowly stopped everything. We said goodbye. I didn't see her for almost a year after that. When I finally saw her again it was like always. She'd talk, I'd nod along, she'd talk some more I'd nod some more and then she'd steal all my cigarettes and send me out for more.

She was a survivor. Still is. All of the skullfucks that life threw her way didn't change her. She walked through it all and thrived quite literally in the face of adversity.

When she left for foreign climes I thought I was finally saying goodbye. Life moved and took me places. I forgot mostly. Then, two years ago I saw her again. Watched for a while. Then watched some more. It took me a while to work up the courage to go say hi. What if she'd forgotten. What is she'd forgotten and would stare at me with that same icy cold look that used to freeze my blood when I was seventeen? Were those 2 little girls her children? I did say hi finally, eventually.

She was the same mostly. When the past was the present she was the only one who knew how shitty it was but now it's all rose tinted glasses and a longing for the good old days which were anything but good. She still talks a lot. Like non fucking stop. She still has her hopes and dreams. She still continues to thrive. In spite of the skullfucks and a life that sees her walking through minefields too often for comfort. Maybe because of it.

The world still stops when she walks. The world still looks. I should be resentful but I'm too busy looking. She thrives in the face of adversity. It doesn't matter how she does it. She thrives and I'm glad she's around.

We'd survived a scene that died. Maybe our corner of ganja park was special, maybe she still had some functioning brain cells, maybe it was something else entirely but I digress. This is still about her and she thrived. She lived, loved, lost and did everything beautiful people do I guess. It was like she took every curve ball life threw at her and somehow came out fitter, better, faster even if not always a winner.

She saved my life once upon a time and is still charging me for it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

2009

2010-01-03T11:10:00.000-08:00

2009 in review. What might be a rambling, pointless and overlong review, much like that Deathspell Omega one somewhere here and you might wish I'd never put it up but what the hell, why not?

Things started well. Mostly. The 1st of the year started according to plan. Ihsahn ends A Grave Inversed with the closing riff on 21st Century Schizoid Man. I might be hearing things that aren't necessarily there. Yes, the years big shift was in finally getting out of jail. Finally saying fuck you, I don't need your job, a job or any job. Fucking awesome. I think I'd been building up to this for a while now with my serial jumping but I really enjoyed the final resignation. A bit more than when I quit Barclays.

This year was also great for trying new things and the opportunity. Thank you 2009. Nice of you.

I had an absolutely terrific holiday for 2 days in Suratkal. But it's Suratkal and an awesome holiday there is pretty much the default setting. That first morning was fucking epic. Thank you Kau. This was actually the only holiday I had. All other plans met with disaster and personal tragedy.

I finally met an old friend for the first time and lost all sense of proportion. It's been a pretty wild ride so far. Exhilarating even if a bit strange.

I lost my grandparents. It's not something I'm totally at peace about. Zen has not happened. It happened way too quickly. Like, what was the hurry? I'm a bit angry but mostly just sad. In other news I'm off to Mangalore next weekend for my third 13th day ceremony in the last 5 months. Terrible.

I heard a lot of music this year. More different shit than ever before. I didn't read much though, Hardly. I did read Toll the Hounds and Dust of Dreams in the same year. I'll read it this year too when it finally gets here and I get my own copy. Don't remember reading anything else with that much excitement. Saw some really fantastic movies but mostly I think 2009 was all about the music.

Oh, by the way I almost forgot. I turned 30 this year. I had no epiphany, no morning after sickness or revelation. I was just another day older.

I had a mostly sober year. Sober as in calm and peaceful at least when it came to hanging out with the boys. Wednesday nights meant going to Tavern a lot and we started a mid week pit stop. Weekends were spent mostly getting hammered but with very little driving around and behaving badly. It was pretty good.

My 2009 sounds a bit drab. I hit a guy. He was asking for it and he provoked me but I probably shouldn't have. Still, I felt pretty good once my heart went back to its normal rate.

Okay, After is an altogether different beast compared to the first two albums. There are elements but the Spiral Architect rhtyhm section seems to have more freedom here. Also the saxophonist adds a very avante garde feel to the sound. This is quite a dense piece of work from Ihsahn. It doesn't have the immediate catchy feel of Angl but I've been listening to it for a while now and it's mostly awesome. I think as good as Angl, probably better but also a bit different. This fellow's brilliant but I'm also totally digressing.

This year I would like to make a few changes. I don't know what exactly but I'll write about it here once I know. I'm quitting cigarettes as of tomorrow morning. I think it's big deal even if I've quit 4 times in 2009. I'm also going to take up swimming and yoga.

Coming back to 2009, it was a strange year. It was filled with chance and coincidences and weird skullfuck moments that more often than not ended with more skullfucking. I had some absolutely terrific highs and also some totally horrendous lows. I put my plans in place very nicely and everything turned out pretty fucking well but then I realised it wasn't really enough. I wanted different things and freedom only means something if you know what to do with it. Some of it worked, some flopped but I'm going to try it all. Like I said at the start, awesome.

Okay, it's back to being really cold. I'm going to go back downstairs. I hope I haven't forgotten some epochal moment. I don't think so. I also don't think I can give the past year any sort of rating. Too much happened. Good things and bad things that were not comparable to each other in any way. A year pretty much filled with some strange confusion. Like it wasn't sure which direction it wanted to go in. I managed as best I could although I did have a few moments of weakness.

If I had a chance to do it all over again I'd do the same shit all over again. I think that's a fair year.

2009-12-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

The last time I heard her giggle. At me. With me. I didn't care. It felt good and I was happy to see her and talk to her and be there.

dead years and dead smiles

2009-12-28T02:05:00.000-08:00

The new year is fast approaching and I'm bored for way too much of the time and sad and restless and empty for the rest of the time. Without getting overly dramatic I think the last 6 months of 2009 have been more than a little crazy and I don't remember the first 6.

laughter lines run deeper than skin and the world's just something that the cat dragged in

2009-12-28T01:45:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to a fair bit of anarcho punk lately. Not sure yet what this genre entails in terms of music but they have some severely strong political views. Anyway, what is the musical commonality between Aus Rotten, CRASS and Chumbawamba? I'll be fucked if I know but all three are this strange genre called anarcho punk. They hate fascists, rascists and all bad people and seem like nice liberal people. I don't have a problem with NSBM and I don't have a problem with anarcho punk. I like them both but I'm guessing both camps hate each other.

The biggest surprise though was going to these sites and finding out that Chumbawamba is considered punk. WTF! How? This is the same band that made Tub Thumping, Laughter in the Time of War and acapella covers of The Clash. Punk? I didn't think so. Very cool band though and here's them doing an acoustic version of Homophobia

CRASS on the other hand sound like nothing I've ever heard before. At least their early stuff seemed like punk and they slowly moved away to do their own uniquely British sound. I fell in love with this band a while back and this was where it all started pretty much. At least with me listening to punk.

Aus Rotten are angry motherfuckers. And probably vegans and straight edge and everything and also American and hardcore but anarchists and I guess why they're labelled anarcho punk along with everything else ...And Now Back To Our Regular Programming sounds fucking angry and comes with the most scary tobacco ad I've heard.

So anyway, time pass post. and I'll leave you dear diary with the longest album name ever.

did someone say blue?

2009-12-27T07:59:00.000-08:00

a lost case, never found

2009-12-25T00:42:00.000-08:00

I used to talk a lot
then stayed silent for too long
I used to bite off more than I could chew
then stopped biting for a time
I washed my best friend's blood
Off my hands and face
Then spoke about it to no one no one no one

I used to play and sing and dance
then stopped it for nothing at all
I used to live in fits and starts
and then stopped to drift
No way was I putting my foot in it
a big ugly festering pool of slime
Instead I washed in her sins and felt clean

I held too many secrets for far too long
Then tried to stop but couldn't
Holding it in is easy when you have practice
But when my brain runs in slow motion
and my tongue starts to wander
I find myself opening the lock on the door
More and more often.

THC for one

2009-12-23T20:29:00.000-08:00

I think tomorrow's going to be a bit weird. I'll remain discrete as much as I want to tell the whole world about it. You're the only one who'll know. Weird craziness more like. Like.

I found a new band today. New for me at least. O' Death, play some really American music. Bluegrass, country, soul all wrapped up somehow in a punk attitude with some serious songwriting chops. I'm liking this band a lot.

Also, A Girl Called Eddy. This is quite nice. Listening to all this pop music is somehow liberating. I feel gay but I'm okay with it. I'm also really thinking about adding a disclaimer.

I'm very bored. I had a stab at finishing something and couldn't but this band is so good. I'm rambling. Ha. I saw a fantastic movie called The Hurt Locker about a bomb disposal squad of three American soldiers in Iraq. I think my biggest mistake in life was made a long time ago. I think I'm eternally grateful. I think I'm living in fits and starts. I think I should stop but sometimes you just don't want to. I play Mario and can't get past level 4. I play cricket and my shoulder hurts for a day. Fits and starts. Life. Being old means living less? I hope not. I feel particularly young and energetic on a good day but most days are just a bit dull. I do the same things over and over but I wouldn't change a thing. Like the reporter said, “where else will I go?”

I'm also feeling very nostalgic man. I walked by Kanti Sweets the other day looking at my old college. It was reassuring to see a bunch of college kids sitting on the steps of the sweet shop but they were actually eating sweets. The cold badam milk used to be insane there. The coffee used to suck ass.

I cannot tell a lie. I can and I do. I'm going to be telling some whoppers tomorrow at around 10:30 am. Again, you're the only one who knows. The weird craziness never goes away. Not fully. Scott H Biram as another new discovery. Very nice. I think my work is done here now but I'll hang on for a bit. I'm hoping for inspiration but will settle for a good movie. I'm holding my hand over my heart but my fingers are crossed. Can't hold on in this quicksand ground and I'm sinking in it. This year, my big discovery was outlaw country and just plain country.

My work here is done.

Put. That. Coffee. Down. Coffee's for closers only.

2009-12-23T06:27:00.000-08:00

Today, I remembered exactly why I love Alec Baldwin. I think anybody who's ever been in a sales situation at work can relate. Awesome dialogues, awesome Baldwin. Fantastic movie.

brittany murphy

2009-12-20T20:03:00.001-08:00

Brittany Murphy died. Damn.

close shaves

2009-12-19T04:04:00.000-08:00

I just finished a rather fine shave to go along with the one I had yesterday. The lawyer's calling it the hump of the century. I'm glad he managed to fall straight down. A little bit to the left or the right would have been danger.

Today gives fuck all a whole new meaning and depth.