here there be knowledge

Hello. Been a while since I came here but I didn't come to talk to you. You can go back to flashing your legs and corrupting the innocent.

For a while now I've been feeling this hard cold stone in my chest. Like something trapped under my ribs and digging into my lungs. A listless lethargic defeated feeling that I couldn't shake off. The few days I spent with you shook it off and then some. I'd forgotten what it felt like to just revel in the moment. To forget everything and exclude everything and just be happy. You made me remember it and made me realise how easy it is. I saw friends and it didn't matter because you were there. Wow. This is going to be disjointed and homosexual. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but these few days were magical. Like the imaginarium. Or something. I'm happy.

I guess on the downside my routine feels even more ordinary and mundane. Like a placeholder for a spot in my life that should ideally have you and not endless cups of coffee and driving around in circles. My village feels empty and incomplete. Like something's missing and I miss you horribly. Waking up next to you, your skin touching mine and your arm over my leathery hide and our tongues ready to do battle. I miss you more now but I'm really happy too. I might still be manstruating but I'm not worrying about it. I love you. Thank you for letting me come and see you.