Named after a particularly obscure rutger hauer movie about a dystopian society where the juggers are post apocalyptic sportsmen who play a brutal and violent version of ice hockey in the nuclear wastelands, this project with justin broadrick and bill laswell is everything you'd expect it to be and manages to throw in a few surprises as well. With help from dr. Israel on vocals and submerged for the beats, the album is at its core an electronic drum n bass exercise but coupled with Broadrick's guitar playing and Laswell's thick chunky bass the music takes on a whole new dimension. Broadrick's guitar playing brings to mind Godflesh and the punishing grooves that he patented with that seminal industrial act. The vocals of dr. israel go from rapping to spoken word and he's a cross between impassioned television broadcaster and end of days prophet. If I had the patience and time I'd give you a full review but for now this is pretty essential for broadrick fans and worth listening to if you like electronic music at all. Loads of new music over the weekend but the new kylesa sounds very good in promo form and the new intronaut might just be better than the last one. Madball has a new one too and they sound more like Pro-Pain than the last 2 Pro-Pain albums. The trick seems to be in just slightly slowing down their usual riffs. An actual fun album from Madball. Who would have thought. Wino's new album sounds like a bunch of tunes written when stoned. Maybe they sounded awesome then but the album's pretty fucking boring. The intronaut rhythm section bears a very close resemblance to reinert and malone. The clean vocals on the new one make them sound a bit cynic like too. Very cool album though.
A bird shat on me today and I was wearing my favourite shirt. It pissed me off for the rest of the day. The politicians of karnataka and my job and traffic and a friend also irritated me through no real fault of their own. I blame my sucky mood on that bird.
I'm spending a lot of time thinking. I don't like it at all.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
salute to the jugger
Changing channels on the TV i saw a random Saurav Ganguly dismissal and knew exactly which match they were showing the highlights of and that it was from ten years ago. I don't remember what i had for dinner last night. Clutter clutter clutter.
Friday, October 01, 2010
blank
The smell of frying fish wafts down and entered my nostrils as I walk. Kaane fry happening somewhere. The streets of the village are deserted and the only other company on the road are a bunch of cows who seem to be out celebrating. One of them almost took my hand off but they seem generally to be in a good mood.
The rains have left the village and heat's been quick to reclaim its empire.
The weekend will be here shortly and my art of living class starts in a few hours. I hope to achieve some level of peace and calm after an hour of learning how to breathe.
I want more coffee but lunch needs to happen first.
I saw a particularly grim and gory movie called offspring yesterday. About a family of cave dwellers who occasionally come out to gather food for their family. Backwoods horror is generally a mean spirited grim genre and this movie is no different. May not be a Deliverance but in spite of looking amateurish the movie worked quite well. Not for the faint of heart or the delicate stomach.
I also saw Dust Devil again for the 8th time I think. There's something about this movie and the little things Stanley does to fuck with your head that is utterly captivating. Just one of those hypnotic movies. It has its flaws and its about 20 minutes too long but its still one of my favourite movies. Also, I'd like to be the projectionist in a drive in theatre in Namibia that shows bird with the crystal plumage and legend of the 7 golden vampires on a double bill. In another life I guess. I plan to watch hardware again over the weekend sometime. It has this hopeless feeling of dread and despair that's rare for a sci-fi and that hallucination scene is actually quite disturbing. Will let you know how it turns out obviously but with or without commentary? That is the question.
The rains have left the village and heat's been quick to reclaim its empire.
The weekend will be here shortly and my art of living class starts in a few hours. I hope to achieve some level of peace and calm after an hour of learning how to breathe.
I want more coffee but lunch needs to happen first.
I saw a particularly grim and gory movie called offspring yesterday. About a family of cave dwellers who occasionally come out to gather food for their family. Backwoods horror is generally a mean spirited grim genre and this movie is no different. May not be a Deliverance but in spite of looking amateurish the movie worked quite well. Not for the faint of heart or the delicate stomach.
I also saw Dust Devil again for the 8th time I think. There's something about this movie and the little things Stanley does to fuck with your head that is utterly captivating. Just one of those hypnotic movies. It has its flaws and its about 20 minutes too long but its still one of my favourite movies. Also, I'd like to be the projectionist in a drive in theatre in Namibia that shows bird with the crystal plumage and legend of the 7 golden vampires on a double bill. In another life I guess. I plan to watch hardware again over the weekend sometime. It has this hopeless feeling of dread and despair that's rare for a sci-fi and that hallucination scene is actually quite disturbing. Will let you know how it turns out obviously but with or without commentary? That is the question.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
you mad fucker!
I think you're a special kind of crazy when you're a Khandige. Whether its manufacturing your own tv from scratch, deciding to ride 300km for your engagement or beating up your patient. A special, particularly tiresome kind of crazy. Sometimes I think I fit right in, other times I wish I didn't.
I spent the weekend in a green cloud floating somewhere over can't remember and don't give a fuck. It was refreshing and I felt free. I was tired of it by sunday night which was reassuring.
New seasons for community and 30 rock and both shows seem to be having re-starting trouble. Community took half a dozen shows to be consistent first time around and I'm hoping it'll be quicker this time. 30 rock's always been inconsistent so no biggie there. What's really surprising though is Outrageous Fortune which in its 6th season is still pretty strong. If memory serves, 3 was the weakest with everyone sleeping with everybody being the main storyline but since then things in the West household have been pretty interesting.
Been listening to loads of new music, most of it awesome. Saw some movies, most of it shit.
The predators movie was prime shit as was the nightmare remake. I did see one fun horror movie though in "tormented." A fun slasher movie where the killer is the soul of a tormented boy who's taking his revenge on the bullies who made his life hell. Also saw a single man which was just terrific to look at but annoyed me. Colin Firth was great in it though. Saw this movie called get him to the greek about a fading rockstar and his record label rep's attempt to get him to the greek theatre for a huge show blah blah. there are some great gags right through the movie but its too long. Also saw Sea of Dust with tom savini and this was one of the lamest, most horrible movies I've seen yet. I didn't feel like laughing when I saw this. Not like birdemic or alone in the dark. I just sat there amazed at the stupidity of it all. This movie deserves a seperate post but for now there's this one scene that's lifted from dusted devil. Homage if you will. In dust devil, its a pivotal moment. When the movie goes from some sort of serial killer western to some sort of horror occult western. The heroine has picked up a stranger who's hitch hiking and they're speeding along a deserted highway when the heroine who's driving sees the stranger standing outside on the road waiting for a ride. In sea of dust the hero's picked up a comatose girl who's possessed by a spirit and is riding a horse drawn carriage and as he's riding along a deserted forest path he seems himself standing by the side of the path. Fuck Sea of Dust. Dust Devil needs its own post. One of these days.
Why don't more bands worship fudge tunnel? Black Sun's new one sounds like an occasionally doomy tribute to Fudge Tunnel and made me want to listen to hate songs in e minor again. Great band. Black Sun's not bad either. The Crown has a new album too, some 7 years after deathrace kings I think. Its refreshing in its lack of modern chug and groove but there wasn't a single riff that made an impression. Not good. There's a band called Weapon from Canada who came out of Bangladesh originally and their new album is some of the most refreshing extreme metal I've heard in a long time. The band does an old school death thrash thing but wrapped up in a black metal vibe. They can riff, groove, write great songs and have a total asskicker of an album in "up from the devil's tomb." This shit really impressed me. The new enslaved pretty good. The only other albums I like are eld and bloodhemn. On this new one they sound totally massive but there's also one part where they sound like U2 and sometimes seem to be trying too hard to be progressive. The band is at its best when they're doing the bm thing though. That's when they're totally on and this new album has some classic enslaved happening. This black sun album is about 4 songs too long. "Life is hunger. You will starve." Fuck it.
Note to self: When in doubt, listen to Thou.
India take on Australia in a test series starting 1st of October. I'm looking forward to it and the second test is in Bangalore and I think I'm going to go on days 3 and 4. The last test match I saw at the stadium was also india australia. Sachin made a hundred, kumble took 5 wickets and india lost. I think mark waugh made a hundred too. Anyway, clarke, ponting and hussy I want to see.
I spent the weekend in a green cloud floating somewhere over can't remember and don't give a fuck. It was refreshing and I felt free. I was tired of it by sunday night which was reassuring.
New seasons for community and 30 rock and both shows seem to be having re-starting trouble. Community took half a dozen shows to be consistent first time around and I'm hoping it'll be quicker this time. 30 rock's always been inconsistent so no biggie there. What's really surprising though is Outrageous Fortune which in its 6th season is still pretty strong. If memory serves, 3 was the weakest with everyone sleeping with everybody being the main storyline but since then things in the West household have been pretty interesting.
Been listening to loads of new music, most of it awesome. Saw some movies, most of it shit.
The predators movie was prime shit as was the nightmare remake. I did see one fun horror movie though in "tormented." A fun slasher movie where the killer is the soul of a tormented boy who's taking his revenge on the bullies who made his life hell. Also saw a single man which was just terrific to look at but annoyed me. Colin Firth was great in it though. Saw this movie called get him to the greek about a fading rockstar and his record label rep's attempt to get him to the greek theatre for a huge show blah blah. there are some great gags right through the movie but its too long. Also saw Sea of Dust with tom savini and this was one of the lamest, most horrible movies I've seen yet. I didn't feel like laughing when I saw this. Not like birdemic or alone in the dark. I just sat there amazed at the stupidity of it all. This movie deserves a seperate post but for now there's this one scene that's lifted from dusted devil. Homage if you will. In dust devil, its a pivotal moment. When the movie goes from some sort of serial killer western to some sort of horror occult western. The heroine has picked up a stranger who's hitch hiking and they're speeding along a deserted highway when the heroine who's driving sees the stranger standing outside on the road waiting for a ride. In sea of dust the hero's picked up a comatose girl who's possessed by a spirit and is riding a horse drawn carriage and as he's riding along a deserted forest path he seems himself standing by the side of the path. Fuck Sea of Dust. Dust Devil needs its own post. One of these days.
Why don't more bands worship fudge tunnel? Black Sun's new one sounds like an occasionally doomy tribute to Fudge Tunnel and made me want to listen to hate songs in e minor again. Great band. Black Sun's not bad either. The Crown has a new album too, some 7 years after deathrace kings I think. Its refreshing in its lack of modern chug and groove but there wasn't a single riff that made an impression. Not good. There's a band called Weapon from Canada who came out of Bangladesh originally and their new album is some of the most refreshing extreme metal I've heard in a long time. The band does an old school death thrash thing but wrapped up in a black metal vibe. They can riff, groove, write great songs and have a total asskicker of an album in "up from the devil's tomb." This shit really impressed me. The new enslaved pretty good. The only other albums I like are eld and bloodhemn. On this new one they sound totally massive but there's also one part where they sound like U2 and sometimes seem to be trying too hard to be progressive. The band is at its best when they're doing the bm thing though. That's when they're totally on and this new album has some classic enslaved happening. This black sun album is about 4 songs too long. "Life is hunger. You will starve." Fuck it.
Note to self: When in doubt, listen to Thou.
India take on Australia in a test series starting 1st of October. I'm looking forward to it and the second test is in Bangalore and I think I'm going to go on days 3 and 4. The last test match I saw at the stadium was also india australia. Sachin made a hundred, kumble took 5 wickets and india lost. I think mark waugh made a hundred too. Anyway, clarke, ponting and hussy I want to see.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
snacktualize it
its been a really good weekend. Home alone with drugs and a crazy kitten for company. Couple of friends also. And a particularly nice mushroom and baby corn in plum wine. That plum wine really was terrific. Very nice chaser. Now, sitting at home and wondering to myself if i really have to go to work tomorrow. I'm reminded of an ancient South Canara proverb.
I think I'm going to go get another cup of coffee.
The new fear factory's really impressed me. It's way better than they really have any right to be. It gets my seal of approval and you know that doesn't come cheap. More importantly Im going to be championing the cause of Weapon over the next few weeks or till I forget. Whatever comes first.
Anyway, i sat down thinking i had so much to say and then realised i had sweet diddly. later.
I think I'm going to go get another cup of coffee.
The new fear factory's really impressed me. It's way better than they really have any right to be. It gets my seal of approval and you know that doesn't come cheap. More importantly Im going to be championing the cause of Weapon over the next few weeks or till I forget. Whatever comes first.
Anyway, i sat down thinking i had so much to say and then realised i had sweet diddly. later.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
FEAR the chair leg of truth!
Airlines for lunch after what seems like ages. My quiet idyll shattered by two kids who are sharing the table and talking loudly about their troubles in college. Thank god for the I pod.
I'd like to take this time to address a very serious problem my village is facing. The idiot on the road. There are a whole lot of them who want to reach from point A to point B as quickly as they can. It doesn't really seem to matter that in their hurry they delay themselves and others. Case in point is Hosur road which has seen some road widening happening. Now one stretch of the road is significantly wider than the rest and the Bangalore idiot insists on speeding across the half ready road in his quest for shorter travel time. What the idiot's brain blocks from his vision is that the road narrows near the signal and idiot and non idiot alike are stuck in a monstrous bottle neck. Travel time that used to be 30 minutes at the worst of times can now last anywhere from 45 to 90 minutes. That's for a 4 km stretch. Sitting in my car and following lane discipline has become an arduous task that sets my blood to boil. Can the idiots not see what they're doing? Obviously not. I think its a deep rooted illness.
In other news, my birthday next month promises plenty. Yay!
In still other news the only forum I visit to puke my opinions is dead and slowly rotting away so I figure I may as well just stick to scrawling on you, dear diary. So what if your stretch marks obscure and cloud my words. I don't mind and neither should you. I've been in a slightly strange space where new sludge no longer gets me hard. I think it hit me when I heard Grief's ...and man will be the hunted and realised there hasn't been anything new in the genre in a long long time and most new bands are simply following the legends of the scene. There are exceptions of course. Thou continue to be legendary with a full length and split this year that ripped my face off, Rhino's just released what might become my favourite album this year although they had to change names and Howl put out a debut that just continues to grow on me. Fuck all that for a minute though. Right now the 3 albums that are constantly being played in my room, on my I pod and in my car are Killing Joke's Absolute Dissent, Stargazer's A Work for the Ages and Man's Gin's Smiling Dogs. All 3 albums have only one thing in common. They rule. Stargazer's brand of extreme metal is rough and ready and absolutely classy from start to finish with a bass player who plays like he thinks he's in Cynic. Killing Joke's absolute dissent is like a best of album with the band touching on all points of their varied discography and adding a bunch of new touches to the songs. Man's Gin is a dark, folky, mostly acoustic album that sounds like a stripped down degradation trip with immensely talented backing musicians. I'm boring myself with the name dropping. Later.
I'm hooked on master chef. Today, gay boy, tattooed rough neck and cute chick are up for elimination. I hope to get home before 9.
Still hooked on Outrageous Fortune and its season 6 and 10 episodes down and Cheryl's still in jail, wolf's moved Ugly Betty and the rest of the Wests are struggling along as best they can.
Also, RCB take on the Highveld lions today in what is a must win for both teams. After the heartbreak of the last game I'm hoping RCB kick some ass.
I'd like to take this time to address a very serious problem my village is facing. The idiot on the road. There are a whole lot of them who want to reach from point A to point B as quickly as they can. It doesn't really seem to matter that in their hurry they delay themselves and others. Case in point is Hosur road which has seen some road widening happening. Now one stretch of the road is significantly wider than the rest and the Bangalore idiot insists on speeding across the half ready road in his quest for shorter travel time. What the idiot's brain blocks from his vision is that the road narrows near the signal and idiot and non idiot alike are stuck in a monstrous bottle neck. Travel time that used to be 30 minutes at the worst of times can now last anywhere from 45 to 90 minutes. That's for a 4 km stretch. Sitting in my car and following lane discipline has become an arduous task that sets my blood to boil. Can the idiots not see what they're doing? Obviously not. I think its a deep rooted illness.
In other news, my birthday next month promises plenty. Yay!
In still other news the only forum I visit to puke my opinions is dead and slowly rotting away so I figure I may as well just stick to scrawling on you, dear diary. So what if your stretch marks obscure and cloud my words. I don't mind and neither should you. I've been in a slightly strange space where new sludge no longer gets me hard. I think it hit me when I heard Grief's ...and man will be the hunted and realised there hasn't been anything new in the genre in a long long time and most new bands are simply following the legends of the scene. There are exceptions of course. Thou continue to be legendary with a full length and split this year that ripped my face off, Rhino's just released what might become my favourite album this year although they had to change names and Howl put out a debut that just continues to grow on me. Fuck all that for a minute though. Right now the 3 albums that are constantly being played in my room, on my I pod and in my car are Killing Joke's Absolute Dissent, Stargazer's A Work for the Ages and Man's Gin's Smiling Dogs. All 3 albums have only one thing in common. They rule. Stargazer's brand of extreme metal is rough and ready and absolutely classy from start to finish with a bass player who plays like he thinks he's in Cynic. Killing Joke's absolute dissent is like a best of album with the band touching on all points of their varied discography and adding a bunch of new touches to the songs. Man's Gin is a dark, folky, mostly acoustic album that sounds like a stripped down degradation trip with immensely talented backing musicians. I'm boring myself with the name dropping. Later.
I'm hooked on master chef. Today, gay boy, tattooed rough neck and cute chick are up for elimination. I hope to get home before 9.
Still hooked on Outrageous Fortune and its season 6 and 10 episodes down and Cheryl's still in jail, wolf's moved Ugly Betty and the rest of the Wests are struggling along as best they can.
Also, RCB take on the Highveld lions today in what is a must win for both teams. After the heartbreak of the last game I'm hoping RCB kick some ass.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
what you put into your head
A man knocked on my door today. He asked me if I was ready for salvation. I zapped him with my omega ray. What would you have done?
Ringworm, Dim Mak, Crisis, Pulling Teeth and Runemagick. All set and nothing to do. Today was long and tiring and i had to talk and converse and be social and it wasn't so bad. The mint and chocolate mousse was especially not bad.
Tomorrow's a holiday. They haven't sighted the moon yet but holiday anyway. I had lunch with a couple of really old friends and one not so old friend. It was very relaxing. Must do this more often.
Could have slept for a couple more hours, but no, phone calls and e mails and work on a Saturday morning. At least lunch plans got cancelled and I should be grateful for that. I guess.
What else is happening? A fair bit I think but nothing I want to write down here. Not till ive understood it anyway which might be never.
The end of the world starts in Serpentine Street.
Ringworm, Dim Mak, Crisis, Pulling Teeth and Runemagick. All set and nothing to do. Today was long and tiring and i had to talk and converse and be social and it wasn't so bad. The mint and chocolate mousse was especially not bad.
Tomorrow's a holiday. They haven't sighted the moon yet but holiday anyway. I had lunch with a couple of really old friends and one not so old friend. It was very relaxing. Must do this more often.
Could have slept for a couple more hours, but no, phone calls and e mails and work on a Saturday morning. At least lunch plans got cancelled and I should be grateful for that. I guess.
What else is happening? A fair bit I think but nothing I want to write down here. Not till ive understood it anyway which might be never.
The end of the world starts in Serpentine Street.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
southern beast with brimstone breath
Rhino went and changed their name to horn of the rhino and put another album out. I wouldn't have known if a friendly passer by hadn't mentioned it. I'm finally listening to it now and it's really good. There's also a new Death Angel and the first song has a totally classic thrash intro. Made me think of a post apocalyptic world with bikers and hot chicks but also Halford on a Harley. Abort.
The weekend was decent. The I key on my laptop is a little stuck and proving to be a pain. There's a cat and kitten that have adopted us. Kitkat and Ray. Pictures whenever.
Boring Sunday. Last few days of freedom. Not much happening right now but soon. Neil Marshall's new movie Centurion looks good in a Conan taken to Scotland via Rome kind of way. Finally got My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done and hopefully it'll live up to my expectations. Also got Killer Inside Me and the new Futurama. Bumper Sunday.
Also, I think it's time to make a proper @))( list. Soon.
Okay, later.
The weekend was decent. The I key on my laptop is a little stuck and proving to be a pain. There's a cat and kitten that have adopted us. Kitkat and Ray. Pictures whenever.
Boring Sunday. Last few days of freedom. Not much happening right now but soon. Neil Marshall's new movie Centurion looks good in a Conan taken to Scotland via Rome kind of way. Finally got My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done and hopefully it'll live up to my expectations. Also got Killer Inside Me and the new Futurama. Bumper Sunday.
Also, I think it's time to make a proper @))( list. Soon.
Okay, later.
Monday, August 23, 2010
a gas mask is haute couture in the summer of rage
not much happening really. alone at home for another 10 days or so and its mostly boring and dull. just re-started work and it makes me feel like taking a holiday again. There's a cat and her kitten that seem to be slowly adopting us and particularly the front garden and the mom loves bread for some reason. Today I found out that there's a large ginger tom that has adopted the terrace to sun bathe. He's huge and looks like he could be the dad but ran away before i even registered his presence.
In other news there's this band called Agrimonia that's giving me goose bumps. Mixing doom with crust and sludge and vaguely dissonant black metal riffing the band sounds like a darker more nihilistic Fall of Efrafa without the Neurosis like wall of sound. There's a couple of guys from Martyrdod on this and a chick on vocals that I would never have known about if not for metal archives. In other news, the new Kings of Frog Island is pretty damn solid. Still bluesy fuzzy stoner rock but with less of the QotSA sound and more of that laid back psychedelic feel they did so awesomely in the second half of II. In still other news, lots of kickass music but don't really feel like namedropping so will leave it for later.
Saw The Expendables, first day, second show and I went to the theatre with that much enthusiasm after ages and probably after Dark Night. The movie was great and watching it in the theatre really was the bomb. The first kill with Lundgren and his shotgun set the tone and right through you had references to older movies that the guys had made, personal references from Jet Li's height and Lundgren's addiction troubles to Randy Couture's cauliflower ears and a very cool scene with Willis and Arnold and some solid fight scenes made this total entertainment. The scene with Statham firing the gun from the plane, the fist fight between Sly and Stone Cold and Terry Crews' shotgun blasts in the climactic battle were awesome set pieces but the movie's just total timepass all the way through and even has a sad emotional scene for Mickey Rourke to do. Bring on The Expendables 2,3,4,5 and 6. I'll be right here. Till then, I'll just wait for Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun to quell my nonsense action needs.
There's a new Swans album out. It has some long ass name that I have a hard time remembering but essentially it's like the best bits of The Great Annihilator, Love of Life and We are Him coming together to make some of the finest music that Gira's ever put his name on. I miss Jarboe's voice but that's just nit picking on what might be the album of the year. Listen to it.
Till then, here's Shooter Jennings and Heirophant with Summer of Rage. Listen to this too.
In other news there's this band called Agrimonia that's giving me goose bumps. Mixing doom with crust and sludge and vaguely dissonant black metal riffing the band sounds like a darker more nihilistic Fall of Efrafa without the Neurosis like wall of sound. There's a couple of guys from Martyrdod on this and a chick on vocals that I would never have known about if not for metal archives. In other news, the new Kings of Frog Island is pretty damn solid. Still bluesy fuzzy stoner rock but with less of the QotSA sound and more of that laid back psychedelic feel they did so awesomely in the second half of II. In still other news, lots of kickass music but don't really feel like namedropping so will leave it for later.
Saw The Expendables, first day, second show and I went to the theatre with that much enthusiasm after ages and probably after Dark Night. The movie was great and watching it in the theatre really was the bomb. The first kill with Lundgren and his shotgun set the tone and right through you had references to older movies that the guys had made, personal references from Jet Li's height and Lundgren's addiction troubles to Randy Couture's cauliflower ears and a very cool scene with Willis and Arnold and some solid fight scenes made this total entertainment. The scene with Statham firing the gun from the plane, the fist fight between Sly and Stone Cold and Terry Crews' shotgun blasts in the climactic battle were awesome set pieces but the movie's just total timepass all the way through and even has a sad emotional scene for Mickey Rourke to do. Bring on The Expendables 2,3,4,5 and 6. I'll be right here. Till then, I'll just wait for Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun to quell my nonsense action needs.
There's a new Swans album out. It has some long ass name that I have a hard time remembering but essentially it's like the best bits of The Great Annihilator, Love of Life and We are Him coming together to make some of the finest music that Gira's ever put his name on. I miss Jarboe's voice but that's just nit picking on what might be the album of the year. Listen to it.
Till then, here's Shooter Jennings and Heirophant with Summer of Rage. Listen to this too.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
here there be knowledge
Hello. Been a while since I came here but I didn't come to talk to you. You can go back to flashing your legs and corrupting the innocent.
For a while now I've been feeling this hard cold stone in my chest. Like something trapped under my ribs and digging into my lungs. A listless lethargic defeated feeling that I couldn't shake off. The few days I spent with you shook it off and then some. I'd forgotten what it felt like to just revel in the moment. To forget everything and exclude everything and just be happy. You made me remember it and made me realise how easy it is. I saw friends and it didn't matter because you were there. Wow. This is going to be disjointed and homosexual. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but these few days were magical. Like the imaginarium. Or something. I'm happy.
I guess on the downside my routine feels even more ordinary and mundane. Like a placeholder for a spot in my life that should ideally have you and not endless cups of coffee and driving around in circles. My village feels empty and incomplete. Like something's missing and I miss you horribly. Waking up next to you, your skin touching mine and your arm over my leathery hide and our tongues ready to do battle. I miss you more now but I'm really happy too. I might still be manstruating but I'm not worrying about it. I love you. Thank you for letting me come and see you.
For a while now I've been feeling this hard cold stone in my chest. Like something trapped under my ribs and digging into my lungs. A listless lethargic defeated feeling that I couldn't shake off. The few days I spent with you shook it off and then some. I'd forgotten what it felt like to just revel in the moment. To forget everything and exclude everything and just be happy. You made me remember it and made me realise how easy it is. I saw friends and it didn't matter because you were there. Wow. This is going to be disjointed and homosexual. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but these few days were magical. Like the imaginarium. Or something. I'm happy.
I guess on the downside my routine feels even more ordinary and mundane. Like a placeholder for a spot in my life that should ideally have you and not endless cups of coffee and driving around in circles. My village feels empty and incomplete. Like something's missing and I miss you horribly. Waking up next to you, your skin touching mine and your arm over my leathery hide and our tongues ready to do battle. I miss you more now but I'm really happy too. I might still be manstruating but I'm not worrying about it. I love you. Thank you for letting me come and see you.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Srpski film
i got hold of a serbian film today. i plan to watch it over the weekend. thought you should know. just in case.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
saturday evening choices and plans
i think there was a time when i would have reveled in a day like today. scaring the pants off a pathetic cowardly fuck was something i did for fun once upon a time and now it's this delicate job that requires planning and back up. Still worked and went off like clockwork but left me feeling a bit dirty and unhappy and alone. strange shit but then this weekend was always going to be weird.
sat down and finished season 5 of outrageous fortune and for the first time in 5 seasons it ended on a complete cliffhanger. pity, season 6 hasn't even started yet.
i'm not sure if i want to sit at home and continue feeling sad or go out and get smashed and feel sad. choices, choices.
sat down and finished season 5 of outrageous fortune and for the first time in 5 seasons it ended on a complete cliffhanger. pity, season 6 hasn't even started yet.
i'm not sure if i want to sit at home and continue feeling sad or go out and get smashed and feel sad. choices, choices.
Friday, July 16, 2010
weekend warrior
I'm dreading this weekend. probably because I'm not really looking forward to it. damn.
Friday, July 02, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Of Ancient Memory (the Oblivion Seekers)
I think this is the end now. The people who could escape have done so and the people who were stuck are no more. It's a bit scary how much of Jarboe's words I can relate to. Maybe I'm just looking and want it to but still.
as far as the eye can see heat is rising off the sand
somewhere out on this holy land time once
was held in their hands
but it bleeds now down the mountain red to the river bank
where they burn their dead
and it sinks deep in the blackest sea
to a bed of ancient memory-
the incense is sweet fills the air this night: lulls you to sleep
the past and the future are here in this fever
from the cold star that makes no sound
a cruel poison comes down as we bathe nude
in the wind, metallic blue becomes our skin
strange is the magic
the waters make no sound
strange is the magic
we lay our bodies down
love dark and tragic
we lay upon the ground
love is the magic
now we spiral round
we drink the waters
filled with delight
the past and the future
closed to our sight
no need for the wisdom
words from the sages
for here is oblivion
come down through the ages
you don't come to this place on your own
you're born to this pain it's your home
it's useless they say to run and hide
you know it's useless they pay who stay and fight
we didn't come here of our own volition
it's prophesy, apathetic contrition
and we didn't come here of a free will
to grip a silent unknown fear then lay quite still
we close our eyes, turn our face
close our mind now go away
shut your eyes and turn away
you've closed your mind but it's here to stay
in the flickering blue century
the blue eternity
blue bombs explode on the screen
blue arms outstretched as they plead
see the cold star, it makes no sound, poison comes down
it sinks in the black sea: a bed of ancient memory
as far as the eye can see heat is rising off the sand
somewhere out on this holy land time once
was held in their hands
but it bleeds now down the mountain red to the river bank
where they burn their dead
and it sinks deep in the blackest sea
to a bed of ancient memory-
the incense is sweet fills the air this night: lulls you to sleep
the past and the future are here in this fever
from the cold star that makes no sound
a cruel poison comes down as we bathe nude
in the wind, metallic blue becomes our skin
strange is the magic
the waters make no sound
strange is the magic
we lay our bodies down
love dark and tragic
we lay upon the ground
love is the magic
now we spiral round
we drink the waters
filled with delight
the past and the future
closed to our sight
no need for the wisdom
words from the sages
for here is oblivion
come down through the ages
you don't come to this place on your own
you're born to this pain it's your home
it's useless they say to run and hide
you know it's useless they pay who stay and fight
we didn't come here of our own volition
it's prophesy, apathetic contrition
and we didn't come here of a free will
to grip a silent unknown fear then lay quite still
we close our eyes, turn our face
close our mind now go away
shut your eyes and turn away
you've closed your mind but it's here to stay
in the flickering blue century
the blue eternity
blue bombs explode on the screen
blue arms outstretched as they plead
see the cold star, it makes no sound, poison comes down
it sinks in the black sea: a bed of ancient memory
Thursday, June 24, 2010
valkyrie in the roller disco
Bangalore born and Bangalore bred
when I dies, I'll be Bangalore dead
...with due apologies to Frank Hennessy
So my favourite blogs are dying. One by one by one like dominoes they fall. It started with boizebu then enemy of the music business, then the worried well went down and now even the relatively innocuous metalhcalbums is dead. I'm not liking this at all.
In other news, there really isn't any. I only came here so I could steal Frank's line and use it for my own selfish needs.
when I dies, I'll be Bangalore dead
...with due apologies to Frank Hennessy
So my favourite blogs are dying. One by one by one like dominoes they fall. It started with boizebu then enemy of the music business, then the worried well went down and now even the relatively innocuous metalhcalbums is dead. I'm not liking this at all.
In other news, there really isn't any. I only came here so I could steal Frank's line and use it for my own selfish needs.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
well done Bannakaffalatta
Life's been a little confusing the last couple of weeks. A million unasked questions and elements that are in constant flux. Weariness I think, more than anything else. Tired and hopelessly lost and a little resentful of the way my life is going. I know not what I want but know this isn't it.
I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. the weekend was the weekend and then the last couple of days have seen my sleep plagued and broken by what might have been an imaginary cat and an all too real drunk friend. I have a feeling tonight may be no different. also it's bright and sunny today. after a really long while and it's really fuck all. typical doom metal weather when the sun is hidden away somewhere, a cold breeze and the constant threat of rain is where it's at. makes me happy.
i saw Rajneeti and the less said about it the better. I'm still watching doctor who and it's getting a bit hit and miss. I've started on grand dad's books and am currently reading "the streaked blond slave." turns out he also left me his collection of cuff links which i got today morning and which came completely out of the blue. Must get some shirts to go along.
meetings, meetings, meetings
they drive me up the wall
they'd like to feed me their leavings
it'll be fun to make them crawl
later.
I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. the weekend was the weekend and then the last couple of days have seen my sleep plagued and broken by what might have been an imaginary cat and an all too real drunk friend. I have a feeling tonight may be no different. also it's bright and sunny today. after a really long while and it's really fuck all. typical doom metal weather when the sun is hidden away somewhere, a cold breeze and the constant threat of rain is where it's at. makes me happy.
i saw Rajneeti and the less said about it the better. I'm still watching doctor who and it's getting a bit hit and miss. I've started on grand dad's books and am currently reading "the streaked blond slave." turns out he also left me his collection of cuff links which i got today morning and which came completely out of the blue. Must get some shirts to go along.
meetings, meetings, meetings
they drive me up the wall
they'd like to feed me their leavings
it'll be fun to make them crawl
later.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
homecoming
He grinned a 32 watt grin. His tongue was pressed against his teeth and almost seemed to be oozing out from between the gaps. He was dancing without moving. He was where he'd always wanted to be. Fire all around him and it felt cold. It felt good. He stood and watched. His tongue making further progress. Squeezing and forcing its way into and through the gaps. He didn't know and even if he did it would have made no difference. This was rapture. He stared at the columns of fire and the faces he thought he knew. He stamped his foot to the thumping bass groove and kept on grinning. Even as his tongue made slow but inexorable progress through his teeth he exulted in the fact that he'd always known. This was where he'd end up. Was prepared for it. Was looking forward to it for most of his life. The music fell silent and the dancing stopped. His tongue was sticking out now. His teeth losing the battle but still fighting the war. A trace of blood on his lips, a few teeth sticking out and a few cuts on his tongue. Lost in glorious rapture, he was indifferent to the war in his mouth. He danced now. With renewed energy. Moving every limb like his life depended on it. A madman's dance, a merry go round and windmill somehow combined. He danced and his tongue sneaked out of his mouth. A brilliant red thing of indeterminate length. He danced with his feet and his hands and his hips and his head. The faces came closer and he found they came attached with bodies. He felt he should say hello but simply could not. The faces stared and seemed to be waiting. He didn't know about this bit. The fires had gone out and he was sweating. His tongue must have come into his line of vision at this time. Moving now at a noticeable rate. Cracked teeth, blood stained gums and a few standing teeth were all that remained. This war was lost. He stared at the faces and wondered where he'd seen them before and what they were waiting for. He tried saying hello again and he couldn't. His tongue inched onwards and upwards. The bright shining red seemed to move and ripple; a life of its own. When he saw her he knew it was getting to the end. As he swayed and moved to a beat only she could hear. As she made her slow but inevitable approach. As she stood in front of him, his tongue. As she reached for it and held it in a grip all at once gentle and firm. His tongue seemed to purr and became brighter. The tongue knew as well. She pulled. He danced as his tongue now stretched out infinite. She pulled hard and soft at the same time. The faces were forgotten and every sense he had was focused on the woman. As she pulled him and the tongue with her eyes and her hands.
Finally. He was home.
Finally. He was home.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Watchoo talkin' 'bout?
Gary Coleman died. Different Strokes, The Fantastic World of DC Collins, The Kid with the 2000 IQ and Jimmy the Kid. Used to be a regular Sunday afternoon feature at home when I was little. Whats with all my child hood idols biting the dust?RIP Gary Coleman
our dying republic
sons of liberty is the best thing Jon Schaffer's done since Something Wicked this Way Comes. This is so cheesy but i've been singing along all evening. and there's one song on this album where he's ripped off the intro from living on a prayer and used it as the main riff on the verse. i'm probably just hearing things but yeah, video. with lyrics and everything.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
i hope it passes me by
i've been sitting at home the last couple of days with a sty in the eye. It's reduced in size now and i feel pretty good but the pills made me woozy and i slept in the afternoon. It's made me woozy again. I hate pills. So anyway, sat at home all day and listened to music.
The Pack AD is catchy and has a couple of great songs and a great vocalist which always helps but I'll forget about them in a couple of weeks. The new Integrity's made me want to listen to seasons again and it actually sounds tame in comparison to the blackest curse. well done. In other news I've also been playing these two videos through the day.
I also saw this movie called the anatomy of murder with jimmy stewart as a defense attorney trying to get off his client who killed a guy who raped his wife. whatever. it was long and it was alright. i think the only black and white movies i like are the silent types and the heist types. riffifi came so close to doing both. I'm going back to the terrace. so bored.
The Pack AD is catchy and has a couple of great songs and a great vocalist which always helps but I'll forget about them in a couple of weeks. The new Integrity's made me want to listen to seasons again and it actually sounds tame in comparison to the blackest curse. well done. In other news I've also been playing these two videos through the day.
I also saw this movie called the anatomy of murder with jimmy stewart as a defense attorney trying to get off his client who killed a guy who raped his wife. whatever. it was long and it was alright. i think the only black and white movies i like are the silent types and the heist types. riffifi came so close to doing both. I'm going back to the terrace. so bored.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
those who fear tomorrow
long ago. in a time and place most never knew, there was a magazine. not just any magazine. this was something called terrorizer. a beat up photo copy of the original that a friend had got his hands on from the vast and dark underground. paradise lost was on the cover plugging draconian times and inside in the album reviews section was a band called integrity and an album called seasons in the size of days. like motohead, slayer and agnostic front in a gang bang the review said. main man dwid had been arrested and then released in question with bombings and he looked like a psycho fuck. i was an impressionable boy. it took me years to track it down and when i finally found the band it was those who fear tomorrow on a beat up cassette. humanity is the devil followed in a beat up used CD sale. i finally found seasons and realised it was a good album after a bunch of great ones. Now, Integrity has a new album out. This is their first proper album since Closure in 2001 but they've had a whole bunch of splits and eps and DVDs and what not so can't really call this a comeback. So far, it's awesome and Integrity continues to be just one of those bands from a time and place that most never knew.
today was an ideal sunday. a boring early evening led to watching the milk boil for a whole fifteen minutes. watching a solid frozen block of ice slowly crumbling into liquid milk. like a world was sinking into the sea. like deep impact but boiled and not deep fried. it was fun and i managed to switch off the gas before the milk boiled over.
steve von till's as the crow flies or steve kelly's spirit bound flesh? i think as the crow flies but sometimes i'm not so sure.
today was an ideal sunday. a boring early evening led to watching the milk boil for a whole fifteen minutes. watching a solid frozen block of ice slowly crumbling into liquid milk. like a world was sinking into the sea. like deep impact but boiled and not deep fried. it was fun and i managed to switch off the gas before the milk boiled over.
steve von till's as the crow flies or steve kelly's spirit bound flesh? i think as the crow flies but sometimes i'm not so sure.
Friday, May 21, 2010
suffering makes great stories
no sleep. listening to blut aus nord and making a play list that's crossed the 100 hour mark. bored. waiting for the evening. done with lunch and another light drizzle. blame it on Laila.
Dwid's back. It's no season in the size of days but it'll do.
one hand to hold down and the other to panic
one eye on the task at hand and the other on escape
one half right here and the other in bed
Dwid's back. It's no season in the size of days but it'll do.
one hand to hold down and the other to panic
one eye on the task at hand and the other on escape
one half right here and the other in bed
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
strength through shopping
She asked him to pee on her face. He ran out of the house screaming. I blame it on the heat.
This year's shopping list is going to go totally out of control. I can feel it. I need new cabinets and a nice looking shelf. I'm stacking books on the floor and I've long since stopped trying to order my CDs alphabetically.
You know, after a couple of long hard days at work with crazy shit going on it feels good to sit down for a couple of noisy beers and watch as your friend's evening goes into the shitter. Most laughs I've had in a while.
I met some interesting people today. Interesting for all the wrong reasons. If you're husband gets to be cultural secretary then do you get to be the first lady of culture? I hope not. It's 11:27 pm and I really should get down to work. It depresses me and makes me very very irritable. Whine whine whine.
I might have a gk party at home next weekend. I hope to see things through and have time left over for the clean up. I need to get less fucked up over the weekends. Especially when I'm outside. Saturday morning's have not been fun for a while. I have vague memories of actually getting up around breakfast time and heading out to Airlines on Saturday mornings. Spending the entire morning and afternoon there and heading back home only to doll up for the weekend.
My parents are regarding me with suspicion. They always have and they've always known when something was up.
I'm getting new perspectives on how much parents will do for their children. I saw a strong man bend till his nose touched the floor. For his child. It blew my mind.
Tom G. sounds a bit hoarse but Eparistera Daimones is awesome.
Mickey Rourke seems to have become the flavour of the day with Iron Man 2. I think he might even kick Downey's ass but will hold the opinion till I've actually seen it. Anyway, turns out a bunch of local art fags have been catching up on Barfly and and a couple, even 9 1/2 Weeks. What did they watch when they were in school? How come no one ever mentions Johnny Handsome and Bullet. I hope I can find that clip on Youtube with Rourke and Whitaker and the Halloween story and just about any scene in Bullet that has Rourke in it. Those two movies need to be seen.
This year's shopping list is going to go totally out of control. I can feel it. I need new cabinets and a nice looking shelf. I'm stacking books on the floor and I've long since stopped trying to order my CDs alphabetically.
You know, after a couple of long hard days at work with crazy shit going on it feels good to sit down for a couple of noisy beers and watch as your friend's evening goes into the shitter. Most laughs I've had in a while.
I met some interesting people today. Interesting for all the wrong reasons. If you're husband gets to be cultural secretary then do you get to be the first lady of culture? I hope not. It's 11:27 pm and I really should get down to work. It depresses me and makes me very very irritable. Whine whine whine.
I might have a gk party at home next weekend. I hope to see things through and have time left over for the clean up. I need to get less fucked up over the weekends. Especially when I'm outside. Saturday morning's have not been fun for a while. I have vague memories of actually getting up around breakfast time and heading out to Airlines on Saturday mornings. Spending the entire morning and afternoon there and heading back home only to doll up for the weekend.
My parents are regarding me with suspicion. They always have and they've always known when something was up.
I'm getting new perspectives on how much parents will do for their children. I saw a strong man bend till his nose touched the floor. For his child. It blew my mind.
Tom G. sounds a bit hoarse but Eparistera Daimones is awesome.
Mickey Rourke seems to have become the flavour of the day with Iron Man 2. I think he might even kick Downey's ass but will hold the opinion till I've actually seen it. Anyway, turns out a bunch of local art fags have been catching up on Barfly and and a couple, even 9 1/2 Weeks. What did they watch when they were in school? How come no one ever mentions Johnny Handsome and Bullet. I hope I can find that clip on Youtube with Rourke and Whitaker and the Halloween story and just about any scene in Bullet that has Rourke in it. Those two movies need to be seen.
Sunday, May 09, 2010
an inheritance
So today I finally pulled out granddad's books. 16 years after they moved next door and 16 years after the books were meticulously packed away by him. It was mostly old medical journals and texts and books, what seems like hazaar 70s and 80s bestsellers, puzzle books, Shakespeare and about 7 copies of the Bhagvad Gita. Buried among all of this though was what I'd been looking for. My summer holiday reading every year I went to Mangalore. Every year grand dad would pick and choose a row of books that I could read and the rows that I wasn't old enough for.
Erle Stanley Gardner
I moved to Perry Mason about a year after I was done with the Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes I think. Nice to see these again.
The Case of the Fiery Fingers
The Case of the Singing Skirt
The Case of the Foot Loose Doll
The Case of the Cautious Coquette
The Case of the Vagabond Virgin
The Case of the Ice Cold Hands
The Case of the Mythical Monkeys
He Case of the Mischievous Doll
The Case of the Shapely Shadow
The Case of the Horrified Heirs
The Case of the Deadly Toy
The Case of the Beautiful Beggar
The Case of the Half Awakened Wife
The Case of the Green Eyed Sister
The Case of the Dangerous Dowager
Fish or Cut Bait
Ian Fleming
I wasn't allowed to read the James Bond books or see his movies for the longest time. At least not under parental supervision anyway.
You Only Live Twice
For Your Eyes Only
Octopussy
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
The Man with the Golden Gun
Moonraker
James Hadley Chase
I still remember the first time I read No Orchids for Miss Blandish. It was a harrowing experience and also the first Chase book I ever read. Nothing ever came close to it after that but I think this was also when my love affair with pulpy crime fiction first started.
A Lotus for Ms. Quon
Cade
The Wary Transgressor
This Way for A Shroud
You Find Him – I'll Fix Him
The Sucker Punch
No Orchids for Ms. Blandish
Miss Shumway Waves a Wand
Mission to Sienna
Mickey Spillane
"I'm not an old man. I'm a young man something happened to." There's a million quotable quotes from Spillane and I love the man. These just put a big smile on my face.
I, the Jury
The Big Kill
The Long Wait
The Deep
The Body Lovers
My Gun Is Quick
Edward S. Aarons
I have no idea who this dude is or what the books are about but man the covers and the titles had me hooked the minute I saw them.
Assignment: Nuclear Nude
Assignment: Peking
Assignment: Carlotta Cortez
Assignment: Mara Tirana
Edgar Wallace
More classic crime fiction. More big smiles.
The Calendar
The Feathered Serpent
The Clue of The New Pin
The Gunner
The Yellow Snake
Carter Brown
The one series of books that totally had me curious. Just look at the titles and the covers. Damn.
The Streaked Blond Slave
The Ice Cold Nude
Who Killed Dr. Sex
So What Killed the Vampire
The Dance of Death
Sweetheart This Is Homicide/ Madam, You're Morgue Bound
Leslie Charteris
The dude who created the saint who was much much later played by Val Kilmer and a totally unexpected find.
The Saint on Guard
The Avenging Saint
The Saint Steps In
John Creasy
Another British crime writer most famous for his Toff and Gideon series.
The Toff in Wax
The Toff on Fire
The Man I Killed
Gideon's Badge
Wait For Death
I also have about 30 westerns that I'm too lazy to list and about another 30 really dodgy pulp fiction with naked chicks on the cover that I have absolutely no recollection of ever seeing. Must have been hidden away for most of their lives. Turning into quite a good Sunday and continuing to find out more about grand dad. Good times.
Erle Stanley Gardner
I moved to Perry Mason about a year after I was done with the Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes I think. Nice to see these again.
The Case of the Fiery FingersThe Case of the Singing Skirt
The Case of the Foot Loose Doll
The Case of the Cautious Coquette
The Case of the Vagabond Virgin
The Case of the Ice Cold Hands
The Case of the Mythical Monkeys
He Case of the Mischievous Doll
The Case of the Shapely Shadow
The Case of the Horrified Heirs
The Case of the Deadly Toy
The Case of the Beautiful Beggar
The Case of the Half Awakened Wife
The Case of the Green Eyed Sister
The Case of the Dangerous Dowager
Fish or Cut Bait
Ian Fleming
I wasn't allowed to read the James Bond books or see his movies for the longest time. At least not under parental supervision anyway.
You Only Live Twice
For Your Eyes Only
Octopussy
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
The Man with the Golden Gun
Moonraker
James Hadley Chase
I still remember the first time I read No Orchids for Miss Blandish. It was a harrowing experience and also the first Chase book I ever read. Nothing ever came close to it after that but I think this was also when my love affair with pulpy crime fiction first started.
A Lotus for Ms. Quon
Cade
The Wary Transgressor
This Way for A Shroud
You Find Him – I'll Fix Him
The Sucker Punch
No Orchids for Ms. Blandish
Miss Shumway Waves a Wand
Mission to Sienna
Mickey Spillane
"I'm not an old man. I'm a young man something happened to." There's a million quotable quotes from Spillane and I love the man. These just put a big smile on my face.
I, the JuryThe Big Kill
The Long Wait
The Deep
The Body Lovers
My Gun Is Quick
Edward S. Aarons
I have no idea who this dude is or what the books are about but man the covers and the titles had me hooked the minute I saw them.
Assignment: Nuclear Nude
Assignment: Peking
Assignment: Carlotta Cortez
Assignment: Mara Tirana
Edgar Wallace
More classic crime fiction. More big smiles.
The CalendarThe Feathered Serpent
The Clue of The New Pin
The Gunner
The Yellow Snake
Carter Brown
The one series of books that totally had me curious. Just look at the titles and the covers. Damn.
The Streaked Blond SlaveThe Ice Cold Nude
Who Killed Dr. Sex
So What Killed the Vampire
The Dance of Death
Sweetheart This Is Homicide/ Madam, You're Morgue Bound
Leslie Charteris
The dude who created the saint who was much much later played by Val Kilmer and a totally unexpected find.
The Saint on GuardThe Avenging Saint
The Saint Steps In
John Creasy
Another British crime writer most famous for his Toff and Gideon series.
The Toff in Wax
The Toff on Fire
The Man I Killed
Gideon's Badge
Wait For Death
I also have about 30 westerns that I'm too lazy to list and about another 30 really dodgy pulp fiction with naked chicks on the cover that I have absolutely no recollection of ever seeing. Must have been hidden away for most of their lives. Turning into quite a good Sunday and continuing to find out more about grand dad. Good times.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
abcdefg live
Live videos from the tour to support ABCDEFG are finally out and here's a couple.
This is probably my favourite song from the new album. It's simple and yet so damn powerful...
Then this one's just super fun....
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
so much to do and so little time
I had a terrific apricot and peach cheese cake today in the hole in the wall. I like the vibe there even if it is too damn small.
Feeling tired and sleepy and decided to give up on coffee house so I could update you instead. Are you grateful? You should be, you sniveling little drama queen.
Goatsnake's set from Roadburn is making it's way round the internet and one of these days I'm going to send a fatty, put on my headphones and pretend I was there.
Bored and tired and sleepy but there's work to be done and the fear of unemployment to be put in people. Later.
Feeling tired and sleepy and decided to give up on coffee house so I could update you instead. Are you grateful? You should be, you sniveling little drama queen.
Goatsnake's set from Roadburn is making it's way round the internet and one of these days I'm going to send a fatty, put on my headphones and pretend I was there.
Bored and tired and sleepy but there's work to be done and the fear of unemployment to be put in people. Later.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
the work ethic myth
The Work Ethic Myth
We have paved the roads that have led to our own oppression. Fear of the unknown, of rejection, has put brutes and villains in power. The fetters that restrict our arms and throats were cast by our own hands, just as we have set our own guards at the door. We drag boulders a thousand leagues to erect their palaces. We have established a system of education that celebrates sacrifice and creates generations of slaves. Hold hands in a ritual of deception. Hold hands in a ritual of desolation. Hold hands in a ritual of self destruction. We are the accomplice class: footstools for our masters, spineless bastards all.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
this and that
Is all well? I hope so but I doubt it.
Holiday today. Ambedkar Jayanthi and Vishu together or some such shit. Already bored and that sick feeling at the pit of my stomach seems to have settled in and got itself a solid grip. Today would have been perfect to spend in coffee shops all day with the cool breeze, coffee and cigarettes. Back to not being sure why I'm doing what I'm doing. Back to being mildly irritated and generally dissatisfied.
I'm going to airlines in a bit. Then hopefully some shopping will put me in a better mood.
Holiday today. Ambedkar Jayanthi and Vishu together or some such shit. Already bored and that sick feeling at the pit of my stomach seems to have settled in and got itself a solid grip. Today would have been perfect to spend in coffee shops all day with the cool breeze, coffee and cigarettes. Back to not being sure why I'm doing what I'm doing. Back to being mildly irritated and generally dissatisfied.
I'm going to airlines in a bit. Then hopefully some shopping will put me in a better mood.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
arundhati roy must die
hello again. bored. another sober night. another peaceful day. most of today went by like a slow goods train. i watered the plants today. that was my highlight.
i have nothing to say. at all. not sure why i'm bothering with this at all but what the hell, why not? not like i have lots to say otherwise. i'm really in the mood to watch the wire again. i tried watching love, sex and dhoka and lasted about 15 minutes. seemed like utter shit. i'm quite glad i stopped going to the theatre to watch hindi movies that i thought would be vaguely interesting. striker was alright in parts i guess but mostly pretty shitty as well. i also finally saw naan kadavul which managed to live up to all the hype and managed to disturb the shit out of me for about 15 minutes after it was done. not bad.
i hope to one day live a life of complete and utter dishonesty. till then all i can do is strive.
i think i like typing shit out without capitalizing.
oh, mom made her cream and fruits thingy today but her friends ate almost all of it.
sick of it all rock and i can't wait for the new album. if the song is anything to go by then the album should be awesome.
i need to hide or block a whole bunch of people on my gtalk and facebook but i've already hidden 30% of my facebook friends and i still have annoying people.
also, tired of getting myspace links on my gtalk. it's become almost impossible to just talk to the people i want to talk to without getting bombarded with a bunch of have you seen this/ heard this/ fucked this nonsense. I do not want to check out new bands/movies unless I find it somewhere and decide i might like it. understand?
then, what else? not much. chalo, later man.
i have nothing to say. at all. not sure why i'm bothering with this at all but what the hell, why not? not like i have lots to say otherwise. i'm really in the mood to watch the wire again. i tried watching love, sex and dhoka and lasted about 15 minutes. seemed like utter shit. i'm quite glad i stopped going to the theatre to watch hindi movies that i thought would be vaguely interesting. striker was alright in parts i guess but mostly pretty shitty as well. i also finally saw naan kadavul which managed to live up to all the hype and managed to disturb the shit out of me for about 15 minutes after it was done. not bad.
i hope to one day live a life of complete and utter dishonesty. till then all i can do is strive.
i think i like typing shit out without capitalizing.
oh, mom made her cream and fruits thingy today but her friends ate almost all of it.
sick of it all rock and i can't wait for the new album. if the song is anything to go by then the album should be awesome.
i need to hide or block a whole bunch of people on my gtalk and facebook but i've already hidden 30% of my facebook friends and i still have annoying people.
also, tired of getting myspace links on my gtalk. it's become almost impossible to just talk to the people i want to talk to without getting bombarded with a bunch of have you seen this/ heard this/ fucked this nonsense. I do not want to check out new bands/movies unless I find it somewhere and decide i might like it. understand?
then, what else? not much. chalo, later man.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Omar coming
Sitting around in the afternoon with nothing to do and watching clips from The Wire.
Some sort of tribute to the character Omar from the show. I like this song and the video's pretty cool.
Some sort of tribute to the character Omar from the show. I like this song and the video's pretty cool.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
hallways of always
I hope to turn the key around and walk right out into blinding sunlight so white that I cannot help but fall to my knees and say, “Thank You.”
There's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like something terrible is going to happen. It's a feeling I can't shake off. Fucking drained man. I kid you not. I think it's generally the last few days. No sleep, my knee's been hurting again after a few years and I think I've had my fill of people and their curiosities. For a while.
This is the story of Tired and Tiresome. Two brothers who couldn't help but walk hand in hand to torment a poor soul who only needed to sleep. Wanted to sleep. There was no sleep, alas! The poor soul drifted and Tired and Tiresome took what they could. I think life is funny sometimes. I'm in a deep philosophical mood. I'm waiting for it to pass.
Fuck, the new Negura Bunget is worth every penny. This is really powerful shit. The opening song with the flute is the most haunting tune I've heard in a while. I feel like talking about this one will spoil the listening experience. Wow. Treat this with the reverence it deserves.
I wish Herzog had made Pagannini and not left Kinski to his own devices. Europeans and their names, no?
I'm off to watch Kinski doing Jesus Christ. Later.
There's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like something terrible is going to happen. It's a feeling I can't shake off. Fucking drained man. I kid you not. I think it's generally the last few days. No sleep, my knee's been hurting again after a few years and I think I've had my fill of people and their curiosities. For a while.
This is the story of Tired and Tiresome. Two brothers who couldn't help but walk hand in hand to torment a poor soul who only needed to sleep. Wanted to sleep. There was no sleep, alas! The poor soul drifted and Tired and Tiresome took what they could. I think life is funny sometimes. I'm in a deep philosophical mood. I'm waiting for it to pass.
Fuck, the new Negura Bunget is worth every penny. This is really powerful shit. The opening song with the flute is the most haunting tune I've heard in a while. I feel like talking about this one will spoil the listening experience. Wow. Treat this with the reverence it deserves.
I wish Herzog had made Pagannini and not left Kinski to his own devices. Europeans and their names, no?
I'm off to watch Kinski doing Jesus Christ. Later.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
the embalming of gods
I think I need to do something. About this constant need to fill you with garbage. I hope to keep away from certain elements. Make restitution to others. I need a new hobby. Something different. Don't worry. I intend to keep you around. Your secrets are mine to keep and keep them I shall. I'm getting to know more and more people. It's like as I grow older my list of acquaintances just keeps growing. I'm not sure what to make of it. Also, the Airline's gang is gone. It's over. Change has come and I find myself a remnant of something that has ceased to be. I missed it also. Like no idea when The End happened. The coffee still kicks ass and the service seems to have actually improved. Everything is more expensive now though. I think the music was on too loud. I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll wake up fresh and full of energy. I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll finish Declare and the djinns will live and Elena will die. I'm hoping Brokeback Mountain's actually worth the hype. I've got a couple of hankies in case it is. Today's match was a disgrace. What happens when you can predict a game like it's a Bollywood script. Unbelievable. Pune and Kochi get new teams. For astronomical sums of money. I want the Bangalore team to stay as it is. Keep all the South Africans. Kumble as captain for one more year. Praveen Kumar, Pandey, Dravid and Uthappa and we're set. Yes I realise I just said we. Can't help it. My village and it was awesome to watch them all play.
Got some business to take care of. Excuse me. (This Triptykon is one awesome band. I'm really liking this and have a sudden hankering towards the procurement of some Red Harvest CDs)
Got some business to take care of. Excuse me. (This Triptykon is one awesome band. I'm really liking this and have a sudden hankering towards the procurement of some Red Harvest CDs)
in shrouds decayed
I am your shrine, i am your womb
you'll rest inside of me, my flesh, I'll be your tomb.
Your words they came through foulest rain
A shroud of no good lies wrapping your remains
Your body draped next to mine
And hell ignores us; they've chosen to be blind
you'll rest inside of me, my flesh, I'll be your tomb.
Your words they came through foulest rain
A shroud of no good lies wrapping your remains
Your body draped next to mine
And hell ignores us; they've chosen to be blind
Saturday, March 20, 2010
as if nothing existed here
I sit. Weary. Aching back and stiff shoulders. Bleary eyed and not sure what the time is. Or the day. I sit and wait for sleep. Sometimes I hope for it. Sleep's eluded me for months now. Since the big three O. I miss the swamp and everything that comes with it. I miss the swamp and its endless night. I miss the swamp. It used to scare me and then it didn't. The swamp became a refuge. I was up in it. Literally. Up to my neck. Then I stopped sleeping. Whats going on? I think I'm losing my mind. I think thats mostly whats going on.
I have a hundred rifles. Raquel Welch is in all of them. I'm listening to Tryptikon as we speak. Tom G Warrior's new band. Continuing along the merry lines of Monotheist. They're playing Roadburn too. I have a ridiculously large shopping list and it's only March. I shudder but grit my teeth and make a list.
I hope to one day own an island. That would be fun. With a waterfall or two and not too many bugs. Environmentally controlled would be preferable. Like a bubble or like Springfield in the movie but an island.
One of these days.
It seemed like we were traveling from signal to signal. Cutting our way through traffic, polluting the village with our cruel wit and cheap laughter. A hundred pointless Fridays. We thank God for this.
I have a hundred rifles. Raquel Welch is in all of them. I'm listening to Tryptikon as we speak. Tom G Warrior's new band. Continuing along the merry lines of Monotheist. They're playing Roadburn too. I have a ridiculously large shopping list and it's only March. I shudder but grit my teeth and make a list.
I hope to one day own an island. That would be fun. With a waterfall or two and not too many bugs. Environmentally controlled would be preferable. Like a bubble or like Springfield in the movie but an island.
One of these days.
It seemed like we were traveling from signal to signal. Cutting our way through traffic, polluting the village with our cruel wit and cheap laughter. A hundred pointless Fridays. We thank God for this.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
sick transit gloria mundi
The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit with Jeff Bridges filling in for The Duke. Wow. That news really cheered me up. Like wow man!
In other news not much is happening. I'm bored and a little tired and waiting for a phone call. Sad state of affairs. What to do i say? I kind of like it. My time on this earth is limited but I shall strive to be as retarded as I can be. No offence meant to the special people. I think I'm really happy and my room feels like my fucking room when I'm playing music. When my speakers are set and I'm sitting in the middle it's just perfect. Long play list happening. Farflung, Kongh, Orthodox, Red Harvest, Pensees Nocturne, Neurosis and Chumbawamba. I really like ABCDEFG.
I think in my humble opinion. Some would disagree.
Bored. It's worries me a little that people on my facebook always have shit they've done, are doing, have done and opinions and how come no one's ever bored. I'm fucking bored all the time. I think that's what really annoys me about facebook.
I'm off to see my first IPL match tomorrow. It should be good. Bangalore Vs. Rajasthan. Warne Vs. Kumble. 2 master tacticians finally going head to head. I'm backing Bangalore. Kallis looks great, Kumble's bowling well and Praveen Kumar is very effective. I'm liking Pandey as opener and Uthappa was terrific in the last game. Rajasthan basically has Yusuf Pathan and Warne. Looking good.
In other news not much is happening. I'm bored and a little tired and waiting for a phone call. Sad state of affairs. What to do i say? I kind of like it. My time on this earth is limited but I shall strive to be as retarded as I can be. No offence meant to the special people. I think I'm really happy and my room feels like my fucking room when I'm playing music. When my speakers are set and I'm sitting in the middle it's just perfect. Long play list happening. Farflung, Kongh, Orthodox, Red Harvest, Pensees Nocturne, Neurosis and Chumbawamba. I really like ABCDEFG.
I think in my humble opinion. Some would disagree.
Bored. It's worries me a little that people on my facebook always have shit they've done, are doing, have done and opinions and how come no one's ever bored. I'm fucking bored all the time. I think that's what really annoys me about facebook.
I'm off to see my first IPL match tomorrow. It should be good. Bangalore Vs. Rajasthan. Warne Vs. Kumble. 2 master tacticians finally going head to head. I'm backing Bangalore. Kallis looks great, Kumble's bowling well and Praveen Kumar is very effective. I'm liking Pandey as opener and Uthappa was terrific in the last game. Rajasthan basically has Yusuf Pathan and Warne. Looking good.
Monday, March 15, 2010
bongs away
Hello. it's been a while. Not a long while but some while at least. Life is moving at a very fast and predetermined pace and I'm struggling to catch up. Most times I'm only reacting as things happen around me and occasionally I'm letting things happen to me. It's a mostly liberating experience except for the catching up bit which is a little tiring.
The bong has been put away, the chillum has been relinquished, the bags have been packed and sealed and put away. I hope the bathtub doesn't feel lonely tonight.
I'm beginning to feel a slight and new sense of responsibility. It's there but not really adding anything in terms of weight. More when I figure it out I guess.
Sleep still plays truant. Rest continues to avoid his responsibilities. The rest of my relatives are doing well.
The Tim Powers book is progressing very nicely. For some reason I can never remember the titles of his books. I'll remember the stories, I'll remember specific scenes but no idea what the books are called.
I'm listening to gunshots amidst the early morning chirping of birds. It's not happening outside my window. It's not happening outside my window.
Tomorrow's a holiday. Today was almost a holiday. I'm done and dusted and considering a shave.
This Salem is a pretty good band except for a very muffled drum sound and slightly weird female vocals.
I think for the most part things are.
I think I'll leave in a bit and get that shave. I'd also like a massage and some time in a sauna. Preferably the non Finnish types.
I hope to finish some pending work this week. Long pending.
Then I might start on something new, wonderful and full of hope for a better tomorrow. Or I might just sleep.
"Don't anger the voices," she said. I think I'll listen.
The bong has been put away, the chillum has been relinquished, the bags have been packed and sealed and put away. I hope the bathtub doesn't feel lonely tonight.
I'm beginning to feel a slight and new sense of responsibility. It's there but not really adding anything in terms of weight. More when I figure it out I guess.
Sleep still plays truant. Rest continues to avoid his responsibilities. The rest of my relatives are doing well.
The Tim Powers book is progressing very nicely. For some reason I can never remember the titles of his books. I'll remember the stories, I'll remember specific scenes but no idea what the books are called.
I'm listening to gunshots amidst the early morning chirping of birds. It's not happening outside my window. It's not happening outside my window.
Tomorrow's a holiday. Today was almost a holiday. I'm done and dusted and considering a shave.
This Salem is a pretty good band except for a very muffled drum sound and slightly weird female vocals.
I think for the most part things are.
I think I'll leave in a bit and get that shave. I'd also like a massage and some time in a sauna. Preferably the non Finnish types.
I hope to finish some pending work this week. Long pending.
Then I might start on something new, wonderful and full of hope for a better tomorrow. Or I might just sleep.
"Don't anger the voices," she said. I think I'll listen.
the chasm rock!
We're aware now of a woman with a forged Canadian passport who flew from Istanbul to Beirut yesterday morning and a Beirut taxi driver remembers driving her to the Rue Kantari, where Philby lives, at sunset. She was carrying a case for a music instrument the size of an alto saxaphone. We made the Istanbul head get whatever he could from the room she had vacated: but the room had been cleaned and all they found were two slips of paper in the waste bin – on one was written, “Bueno Ano” and on the other “Medio Ano.”
It's been a while. The cold war is familiar, comforting and fun. Who needs terrorists and the Russian mafia when you can get the KGB. The magic is still only hinted at and I'm hooked. Will keep you updated.
Bugger, not done. There has to be some limit to your laziness. Pass the joint. Don't throw it.
I saw a place called Deja View Apartments. I want to go back there.
It's been a while. The cold war is familiar, comforting and fun. Who needs terrorists and the Russian mafia when you can get the KGB. The magic is still only hinted at and I'm hooked. Will keep you updated.
Bugger, not done. There has to be some limit to your laziness. Pass the joint. Don't throw it.
I saw a place called Deja View Apartments. I want to go back there.
Friday, March 05, 2010
black jack jack black more cash less back
i broke my 30 game losing streak last night. It went up to 45 before I managed but I did eventually break it. Or maybe the dealer did.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
long fucking day
long fucking day today. really long. not a lot else to say but i'll leave some pics and a video here to stare at later.
I like this more than the original
Monday, March 01, 2010
dirty dozen 2
I thought of calling this post dirtier dozen and then thought better of it. This is basically my part 2 of famous, beautiful women I want to do.
Angelica Huston just looks so fucking dangerous. She's intimidating in a way that makes me think of knives and burns and hot candle wax and all sorts of terrible things. She can do whatever she wants to me pretty much.
Debbie Harry has that whole combination of pretty, cute and innocently hot.
I was on a huge Tilda Swinton trip a while back which started with Julia and ended with Orlando. I want to go to there.
Heidi Klum. Looking at her photographs just makes me happy.
Faye Dunaway. There's something really bitchy about her. Maybe just her movie roles or whatever but damn she can be totally sizzling.
Not sure why I needed 3 photographs of the Dame but I did and she's still just as pretty.
I first saw Marianne Faithful in a Metallica video. She's awesome. What else to say?
Shaitan. That and an issue of playboy in French are my only two reference points but man Roxanne Mesquida is uber hot.
I once saw all of The Princess Diaries just so I could see Anne Hathaway. :(
Anna Paquin. The Darkness and 25th Hour. Leave all of that X Men crap at the door.
Vera Farmiga. She so pretty. That is all.
Salma Hayek first came to my attention with her dance in From Dusk till Dawn. After that, she's just been getting hotter and also somehow prettier.
I think that's a dozen. It's a slightly uneven list but every single women here is quite beautiful. So I guess it's alright.
Angelica Huston just looks so fucking dangerous. She's intimidating in a way that makes me think of knives and burns and hot candle wax and all sorts of terrible things. She can do whatever she wants to me pretty much.
Debbie Harry has that whole combination of pretty, cute and innocently hot.
I was on a huge Tilda Swinton trip a while back which started with Julia and ended with Orlando. I want to go to there.
Heidi Klum. Looking at her photographs just makes me happy.
Faye Dunaway. There's something really bitchy about her. Maybe just her movie roles or whatever but damn she can be totally sizzling.
Not sure why I needed 3 photographs of the Dame but I did and she's still just as pretty.
I first saw Marianne Faithful in a Metallica video. She's awesome. What else to say?
Shaitan. That and an issue of playboy in French are my only two reference points but man Roxanne Mesquida is uber hot.
I once saw all of The Princess Diaries just so I could see Anne Hathaway. :(
Anna Paquin. The Darkness and 25th Hour. Leave all of that X Men crap at the door.
Vera Farmiga. She so pretty. That is all.
Salma Hayek first came to my attention with her dance in From Dusk till Dawn. After that, she's just been getting hotter and also somehow prettier.
I think that's a dozen. It's a slightly uneven list but every single women here is quite beautiful. So I guess it's alright.
the evening redness in the west
When the lambs is lost in the mountain, he said. They is cry. Sometime come the mother. Sometime the wolf.
I first heard of Cormac McCarthy thanks to the Coen brothers and No Country for Old Men. When i saw that movie I was blown away by the dialogues and then when I read the book I found that all of the awesome writing came straight from the book. The Coens only had to cast and shoot. Anyway, that set me off on a search for more McCarthy and after the depressing Outer Dark and the coming of age western trilogy of All the Pretty Horses, The Crossing and Cities of the Plain I finally got my hands on Blood Meridian or The Evening Redness in the West.
McCarthy's west is quite unlike anything John Ford, Peckinpah or even the epic honour bound west of Leone. Instead, McCarthy's wild west is a savage unforgiving land where the only code is one of survival and honour is something no one's even heard of. The book begins with a boy referred to only as the kid as he leaves his home and sets out on a journey with no real destination. He joins the Glanton gang after some severe bad luck and comes into contact with Judge Holden. The Judge is a terrifying huge man, a polymath, ambidextrous and seemingly invincible. With the judge leading the motley group on an Indian scalp hunting mission across the border of Mexico the book basically becomes a tale of violence and survival. Seen through the Kid's eyes for the most part except when the character of the Judge threatens to overpower everything in it's path.
The violence in the book is only there to describe the nature of man and the extent he will go to to survive. The gang is a tight unit who describe all men of colour as nigger except the black man who rides with them and hunts with them. All men are equal and a part of the gang as long as they can shoot and scalp. The journey through the Kid's eyes is one of marked indifference. There's little the Kid thinks about. He thinks the Judge is full of shit but he follows him through hell and back. The judge is evil in a manner that is cold, intimidating and always carefully under control and held tight.
The scenes of slaughter are told with a detachment that makes it horrifying and McCarthy quite obviously loves his violence but never over plays his hand. Whether it's the Judge killing a young Indian boy he's rescued from a massacre, killing Mexicans and passing off their scalps as Indian or the lone black man in the party killing his namesake who keeps calling him nigger, the violence is always brutal but also always understated.
The book ends with the Kid bumping into the Judge again years after the scalping party. The two meet in a bar with a dancing bear working its magic on the bar and the Kid is now the Man. The Judge refers to the man as the 'last true dancer' and the Man still thinks the Judge is full of shit. Eventually the Man is attacked by the Judge although it's unclear if it ends in some serious sweaty fucking or if the Judge simply kills the Man.
The book finally comes to an end with the Judge dancing in a bar and proclaiming his immortality and an epilogue with a lonely figure marking fence holes in the ground with a bunch of people following him on the trail. It feels like the Wild West is over and done with and man has finally claimed this land.
This book blew my mind and along with the Border trilogy pretty much gave me a new outlook on the Wild West and the savagery of man. For those of you who read this but can't be bothered with the book, check out Ben Nichols and his Last Pale Light in the West. An absolutely awesome though thoroughly depressing set of 7 songs based on the book.
And the answer, said the judge. If God meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind would he not have done so by now? Wolves cull themselves, man. What other creature could? And is the race of man not more predacious yet? The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night. His spirit is exhausted at the peak of its achievement. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day. He loves games? Let him play for stakes. This you see here, these ruins wondered at by tribes of savages, do you not think that this will be again? Aye. And again. With other people, with other sons.
The judge looked about him. He was sat before the fire naked save for his breeches and his hands rested palm down upon his knees. His eyes were empty slots. None among the company harbored any notion as to what this attitude implied, yet so like an icon was he in his sitting that they grew cautious and spoke with circumspection among themselves as if they would not waken something that had better been left sleeping.
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