Friday, December 23, 2011

Tabby and I

When I finally tracked down Tabitha she was sitting in the front lawn of her new house with a fat old boxer named Oliver. They were drinking tall cold glasses of milk. Drinking the warmth right out of the hot and sweaty afternoon....

I was lost in a haze of smoke and the smell of stale bitter coffee when the call had come. All I had was a name and a photograph. Tabitha. Find her, bring her back home and maybe make enough to leave the city to its dark unpleasant future. A pretty face when I thought they'd all disappeared. A pretty face in a city buried in ugliness. Should stick out like a vegan at a meat packing plant. Should be easy.

The city was bleeding. Thick waves of black sludge slowly but surely seeped through the cracks in the pavement. The sun had forgotten the city and the rain beat down in sharp drops that could cut your skin if you let it. I pulled my coat closer and walk on. Avoiding the puddles of sludge, the puddles of rainwater and looking for a pretty face to improve my mood. It was tough. The last pretty face in the city had left when the sun was still out. Why am I still here? Hope. And one last job. Scouring the clubs and the alleyways, back room poker games and all night blues bars, one thing was certain. Getting to Tabitha meant finding Oliver. A fat mean spirited boxer who had seen better days and now ran a protection service. Tabitha was his client and everything I heard about him led me to believe he wouldn't go down or let go without a fight.

I learned of an alley that Oliver frequented. An alley for dogs and hobos and women of ill repute. You know the kind. Every city has them. I dressed for the occasion, hoping to be just another face, a nobody looking for scraps. I hung in the shadows and waited. Sure enough, my information was correct. Oliver came lumbering in sometime past midnight. His rolls of fat jiggling with every step he took. Every step he took seemed like it could be his last. I'd met boxers like this before. A lifetime spent being a punching bag and with nothing to show for it but aching limbs and a meanness of spirit that would be the last to go. I'd met this kind and handled them. No problem.

My over confidence was my first mistake. Seeing only the meanness in his eyes and overlooking the intelligence. I stepped out of the shadows and called out to him. Second mistake. I was surrounded by a pack of 3 young cruel products of the street. Nothing more than strays but when in a pack, more dangerous than a herd of lions. The leader lunged at me. I fell and as my head hit the pavement I noted the cracking sound with a sense of detachment. When I came to it was raining again. The sharp cold rain cut through the pain in my bones and I stood. Blood. All of it mine. My head ached, my body ached and I seemed to be bleeding from a dozen different places.

I'd been set up. Lucky to still be alive and maybe Oliver thought a warning would be enough but this old dog had the bit between his teeth and wasn't letting go.

It took me a few days to get back on my feet. Get back on the street. I'd underestimated Oliver and was back at nothing. Every fresh lead I'd dug up had run into a wall and I was clutching at hope and Tabby's photograph. Yeah, she'd become Tabby in my mind. A pretty face will do that to you. Make you lose perspective.

I was on my fifth white russian and just about ready to throw in the towel. I reached into my pocket to pay and leave when I found a little scrap of paper. An address and nothing more. On the outskirts of the city and not a place that would welcome the likes of me. It had been slipped in without me noticing. Getting old and soft and primed for another trap. I had no choice though. I had to follow up on it.

I found the house easy enough and there she was. Sitting on the front porch with that mean old dog for company. She looked at me. Imperious with her green eyes and snow white fur. Took a last lick of her milk and darted in through the open door. I had to follow. Had to see this through. Tabby knew this and so did Oliver. He was standing on the porch, face split into a wide evil grin. Daring me to climb up the steps. Daring me to go after Tabby. I did. I had no choice.

Now, lying in my own pool of blood with Oliver looking down at me with amusement and Tabby calmly licking remnants of milk off her whiskers. All I could do was curse myself. I thought this was going to be easy and I thought I could leave the city. More fool me. In my line of work there's never an easy job and once you've lived in the city there's no leaving it. Like my ma used to say, "boy, you sure picked a hard way to make an easy living."

Thursday, December 22, 2011

last days of humanity

If life was a 50s noir then this is when I'd be drunk all the time and smoking a ton of cigarettes before karma finally caught up with me and I got run over by a bus. Preferably unknown, unwitnessed and with no claimant for my body. The last act in a 90 minute cycle of fucking up.

Hello dear diary. Its been a while. Did you miss me? Like Herzog misses Kinski maybe.

I've been up and down. More down than up. Now have one less thing going for me which brings me to a grand total of 1. Well done.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

the end of my rope is a noose

Been a while since I came here. So much has happened on the personal front that I have no choice but to leave all of it out. Today is a new day and pain is a warning.

I had the most bizarre dream last night. I was in the masterchef house. Like an outsider looking in. Kumar killed Hayden. Kicked him in the neck with a fancy karate move and everyone cheered.

In other news I'm going to try my hand at haiku writing next time I'm in the tub. I feel inspired.

I got a new waterproof jacket courtesy of the sister and it works like a charm when its raining. When its not though, it gets incredibly stuffy. Luckily I can fold it into my bag. Wow.

I'm writing reviews again. On the gayest metal site on the net.

"I wish they were hardcore leftists instead of just left leaning. Life would have been so much easier."

"But then you can't be apolitical"


"It seems Anna has supporters even in pakistan"

"Yeah. Till Eed."

Today was a pretty good sunday. Heard a lot of music, wasted time on rest and relaxation, laughed at some stupid jokes and now listening to demolition hammer, morbid saint and mandator on shuffle.

Been watching this show called eureka. About a small town called Eureka that houses the best minds in America and the town sheriff who must keep these minds safe. Its a lot like Chuck. Ridiculous plots but interesting, likable characters. Good time pass.

Today on the way to work I got late cause of a procession to freedom park by about a 100 college kids in support of anna. They've got the day off I guess. Irritating shit.

In other news, the new Today is the Day sounds like old Cave In. Steve Austin's mellowed. Who would have thought.

So the fourth test is now over. India lost 4-0. Not since that australian whitewash all those years ago has indian cricket been this pathetic. The team, selectors and the BCCI must share equal blame. The selectors for picking zaheer khan and sehwag and not bothering to send a back up opener, the team for its lazy and arrogant attitude and the BCCI for just being power mad assholes. Sachin's still on 99 hundreds and it looked like the fourth test was a perfect opportunity for him to get to 100 considering the series was lost and there wasn't any pressure but he failed and got out in the 90s after playing very determinedly for a 100. Oh we'll, he'll probably get it in the one day series but I hope he flops there also and comes back from England with nothing to show for. Dravid has been fantastic. His 3rd hundred in the series was beautiful to watch and he's been the only player in the Indian team to actually play test cricket. That number 3 slot is going to be very hard to fill once he retires which might be at the end of this year after Australia. I have a strong feeling we're going to come back from this tour without a single victory and then play the lame ass champions trophy where dhoni can reclaim his captain cool image. I think sachin, dravid and laxman should retire after the Australian tour. From the three only Dravid looks fit enough to play test cricket anyway.

In more news, turns out it's the BCCI that's secretly funding anna's camp. Talk about distracting people from the larger issues.

Some dude's been uploading Indian metal bands on to rockbox. Amidst the gigabytes of trash he also uploaded millennium and 1 concept 2 live. Listening to these tape rips has been a lot of fun. Particularly the self titled album and the live side of 1 concept 2 live. I was at that UVCE show and remember the stampede. Does any local band command that kind of adulation today? I'd really like to know. Anyway, super fun in a nostalgic, good old days kind of way. Unfortunately, the peace just in heaven video doesnt seem to be around on youtube so only be one instead.

Monday, June 20, 2011

it ends and starts and ends and starts

A friend told me today that by the time he's done with work and goes home and spends time catching up with everything that needs to be read and seen its 3 am. I'm glad I'm not alone. Some days are good and some not so but every night is full of dreams.

Its never too late to turn back

Or too late to flee the scene
For want of a horse,
the kingdom was lost
For the absence of trust
a good man went to war
Everybody's culpable
Everybody run

I'm not going to sleep tonight
Must remember to check the score

I'm not going to read tonight
Must remember to tend the sore

Monday, June 06, 2011

strength in numbness

I heard the new lady gaga album yesterday. It seems its the first album in 2 years to go past the 1 million sales mark in america. Its mostly dance pop like it used to be around high school and puc. Like tavern on a wednesday night with every song waking a strange sense of nostalgia in me. Its like she's playing retro pop if there is something like that. And totally disposable. I can't remember a single song now.

Watched this tv show called Bored to Death. With Jason Schwartzman , the fat bearded guy from hangover and ted danson. Jason's a struggling writer who posts an ad on craigs list posing as a private detective, the fat guy is his best friend and struggling cartoonist and ted danson's the editor of some big time magazine. All 3 suck at relationships, all are going through personal crises and all 3 smoke pot. It has a very laid back feel good vibe to it that I liked a lot. Watched 16 episodes in 3 nights.

Now on to Psychoville which is the return of the league of the gentlemen. Strange creepy horror comedy. First episode was pretty good. A nurse who talks to a plastic doll like its her own baby, a one armed clown who chain smokes and drives a hearse, an old blind man with secrets, an ex porn star dwarf with telekinetic powers and the obligatory serial killer and his mum. A veritable cornucopia of horrors. Its a bit more in your face and over the top than The League but still pretty damn good.

This blog is becoming more and more like a repository for vague comments on tv shows and music. I feel like I should be writing about more important stuff. The self and things that affect me and all. And even Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev and the Sadhvis and civil society. But what to do? I feel strongly about so many things but can only write about the mundane and disposable entertainment of my everyday life.

Head held high but I was knocked off my feet
I can't decide if you're a trick or a treat.

You think Medha Patkar is sitting somewhere and slapping her forehead and going, "damn. What a bunch of jokers! I should have eaten properly."? Doubt it. She seems like a serious lady. Also, for the first time in my life I'm agreeing with the human rights activists and lawyers who are coming on tv. Its a bit disconcerting but when this one lawyer on tv called ramdev a fraud and asked for an enquiry into the source of his wealth I was cheering. Especially when the ramdev fan on the debate asked for her to be banned from tv immediately. Potato smileys and pot tea at Koshys and art fag exhibits at CKP await.

Yesterday, I woke up with this strong feeling that I must track down an old friend. I hadn't seen or heard from him in about 7 years but figured facebook would help me. As it turned out, there's no sign of him or his family on fb. It's left me a little worried.

Its a beautiful day out. The word pleasant comes to mind. Its cool but sunny with a threat of rain on the horizon. So much for the weather report.

Looks like next project is going to be a hardcore tech process for an internet security firm from San Jose. My tentacles are slowly unfurling onto the valley. Tentacles still crossed though.

Monday, May 30, 2011

operation successful patient dead

So i went to a book reading yesterday. A dude i sort of know has compiled a bunch of folk tales from the North Eastern states and self published it. I sat through one full story and random rambling about Sikkim but what was interesting was the abject boredom on the faces of the kids there (there were quite a few) and the exact opposite expression from the parents who seemed genuinely captivated. The whole experience was somewhere between interesting and really boring.

In other news, my project goes live tonight. Finger crossed.

There's this band called Hell. From England, from around the NOWBHM movement who released a bunch of demos between 1982 and 1986. The band has finally released their debut album this year and it's quite great. The songs are mostly the old songs from the 80s given an up to date production and the band sounds like a cross between Refuge Denied and Into the Mirror Black with some keyboards and loads of samples. This is some kickass old fashioned heavy metal and i guess, almost 30 years in the making. I listened to this in the morning on the way to work. Did wonders for my mood and full marks for this video.

The last A Storm of Light album, Forgive Us Our Trespasses was terrific. I finally got the chance to listen to the new one on the way to coffee house today and it sounded fantastic. The post metal sludge vibe has a slightly folky tone to it and the album goes from massive sludge to spaced out acoustics without a moments hesitation. Some great songs on this and Destroyer really grabbed me. Heard it 3 times today.

Monday, May 23, 2011

the fine art of bullshit

So I'm watching the Saw movies. 4,5,6 and 7. Watched 4,5 and 6 over the weekend and might watch the last one tonight. It works well as 90 minute episodes. Jigsaw is a pretty memorable villain as far as these things go and the movies build the jigsaw mythos with a fair amount of care and what feels like reverence. Jigsaw dies in the third movie but his work is carried on by his recruits and tobin bell appears now and then in flashbacks and exposition. The holy shit factor of the first movie can never be duplicated but as far as horror franchises go, Saw is surprisingly decent.

The new season of Doctor Who is kicking ass. It left me with a big smile as the doctor ran around through time and space trying to save the planet from The Silence, a race of scary aliens who've invaded 1960s Earth. Also, Pond might be preggers with a time lord meta child who's about 8 years old but not yet born and might have regenerative powers and might just be a time lord or might just be the doctors latest incarnation waiting for this season to end or maybe I'm totally wrong and maybe I'm totally right. There's some real suspense here and overall, this series promises plenty.

Also started watching this series called The Borgias with Jeremy Irons as the patriarch of clan Borgia who becomes the pope and his family. Like a period Sopranos. Pretty good so far and loads of gratitious sex. Treme's also going very nicely 3 episodes in and I'm saving the new doctor who for the weekend.

In other news, I really don't feel like it.

You know how you can listen to something and it won't make any sense at all? Well, I've been writing this post from so long that I've forgotten what music I was talking about. Oh well.

The new Autopsy leaked. The first song is okay. A bit different and a bit of modern dissonance but come the second song "Dirty Gore Whore" and its like a reminder from the band of all that's unholy, twisted and sick in death metal. The boys are back. With a few new tricks in tow.

On the subject of leaks, Necrophagia's Deathtrip '69 is finally out as well. Horror metal. Opening with a sample from Evil Dead II, a song called Funeral for Solange, fun album with killjoy even trying his hand at some outlaw country and succeeding.

Sub Rosa. That's who I was talking about. Loving it now. Just made total sense one afternoon over lunch.

This years IPL is some boring shit. Lots of terrific individual performances but somehow the whole is not greater than the parts.

I'm getting irritated with people and their pretensions. I'm getting irritated with people who talk out of their ass and manage to sound super knowledgeable when they do it. I'm getting irritated generally with a whole lot of people. Maybe time to take up yoga and meditate. For real this time.

Episode 3 with the good doctor turned out be a bit damp. Lazy writing. Hopefully 4 will pick up the pace. Treme on the other hand is getting better with every episode. Anton Baptiste and his Soul Apostles had their first gig, Steve Zahn's producing a NOLA sampler with his crazy aunt, the Indian chief is still frustrated and angry and his son wants to make a New Orleans jazz record. The characters are interesting and unlike The Wire which was plot driven with some great characters, this doesn't really have much in the way of plot but it does have a lot of interesting people.

My lunch has arrived. Later.

So last night Airtel decided to up my internet connection in between sending me payment reminder messages. Suddenly my download speed went from 50 to 200. I ended up downloading some 12 new albums and 2 rather large files with 13 Assassins and I Saw the Devil. It was still on in the morning so I put Mother for download before leaving. This is nice but if it stays this way I might go crazy. And need a new hard disk. Anyway, I have a whole bunch of movies for the weekend. Mostly of the twisted oriental kind.

Only 13 Assassins happened. Its an hour of build up followed by an hour long battle scene. 13 vs. 200. Loads of samurai action and a fantastic battle scene. Liked this movie a lot.

This is turning into a ridiculously long update about nothing but the new Cave In is out and it deserves at least a couple of lines. From Converge like dissonant hardcore to spacey post hardcore, Cave In is like Radiohead with balls and White Silence is pretty fucking great. Somewhere along the way I think Cave In discovered pot, Pink Floyd and the Beatles and nothing was ever the same. Spacey, psychedelic post hardcore. Welcome back.

Other notable downloads over the last week include the new A Storm of Light which sounded fantastic on the first listen, the demo from Vastum is pretty good old school death-doom, the new Across Tundras sounds like the band has finally made the transition from good to great and Corpsessed's debut ep is a solid display of death metal. Overall, its been an awesome couple of weeks for new music.

Anyway, this is becoming really long winded and going nowhere. Must stop now.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

this transcends belief

Sitting in airlines again. No mood for anything resembling work. Want to crawl into bed and sleep some more. Its strange how so many blog posts start in airlines now. Blackberry ki jai I guess. Akki rotti happened after a long while. Way too much butter and slightly too thick for my liking but not bad at all. I think I need a change of environment and scenery. Bangalore's dulling my senses and life's getting to me.

In other news, there's a band called Saturnalia Temple that's got me quite excited. Their demo from a few years ago was mostly electric wizard worship but a song on a newish 4-way split is sludgy space rock and very cool. Watch this space for more. Debut full length coming soon.

New season of Dr. Who started. It feels edgier and darker than before and its off to a great start. Emily Pond is the prettiest sidekick this series has ever had I think.

Sometimes I think I'm better off keeping things to myself. The initial relief of getting things off my chest is short lived and not really worth it compared to the consequences.

I think therefore I rot.

There's too much new music happening. For all the people who say there's no new music anymore, you should open your ears. Listening to Repuked's debut and its quite literally a blend of Autopsy and Abscess with some of Sweden's own d-beat thrown in. There are a whole bunch of these new old school bands that are putting out killer debuts. I find it quite strange in a way.
What happened to bands taking time to grow and mature and getting round to releasing kiler albums on the second and third tries?

Metallica's playing in India finally. But they're playing in delhi and opening the F1 racing thing there. I found that really lame. Like really lame. Fucking hell, its Metallica. Give the fans a proper show.

The peaceville 3 might be playing bangalore in december. How about that? After years of dreaming about it, I might finally get to see them. So what if all three are dead on stage these days and their best days are behind them. I'm already dreaming of getting my Icon sleeve signed.

In other news, you're just another chunk of meat.

The new Septic Flesh and the new Primordial are blowing my mind. I seem to have lost interest in stoner rock and if I see one more band claiming to sound like Down I might puke.

Also, Blasphemy. What the fuck is up with so many bands claiming Blasphemy as an influence? I think metal now attracts more hipsters than any other genre.

New season of Treme started too. Its the music in this show that's awesome and makes it worth watching. The New Orleans jazz and folk. And Steve Zahn who's just very likable and the mother from The Fighter who's just a terrific actor along with the 2 black detectives from The Wire. Season 1 started great and then tapered down to a downer season ending and season 2 has again started off great and upbeat. Hopefully it won't be as much of a downer this time but I don't think David Simon is interested in happy stories of happy people.

I'm singing in a band now. Djinn and Miskatonic. Stirred with a wooden stake. Some lyrics for a song called Flight of Sand which is still a work in progress.

Sun sand and heat conspire as one

I melt in the gaze of the three
Desert sand lies devoid of life

I pray for my own bitter hell

What I see

Is it real
Can you see
The things I did

Coward to all as my brothers stood tall
Fought to the last while I froze
My soldiers betrayed by my hand
Sword cut through flesh as I ran

I saw them kneel
I heard them cry
I heard them beg
I hid. they died

I thought I would pick my battles to win
Now I try to outrun the sun
The screams of my brothers echo within
As a buzzard announces a feast

Hope for me seems long since dead
The wind she swirls around me

Its true that sand gets everywhere

I'm blind, sandblind, I can't see

Walking now

And forever
Paying the price

Give me one word for walking dead

As the sand builds to kill

Unseen, unknown
Unwitnessed I crumble

Saturday, April 23, 2011

no grave deep enough

The new Septic Flesh finally leaked and I've been listening to it non stop since yesterday. Its pretty great but not as ferocious as Communion. The album's a little more melodic and at times sounds more like the last Hollenthon than Communion. Imagine Communion crossed with Revolution DNA with a production that makes everything sound utterly massive. The song writing is a bit more complex as well but like with most of their albums will take a few listens to fully grasp.

In other news, the weekend was pretty good. Met a couple of old friends, did some afternoon drinking and overall had quite an active weekend.

I've been watching this brit series called Midsomer Murders for a while now. It's set in idyll British village life in a district called Midsomer where murders occur with alarming regularity. It almost feels like there's very little difference between village life in England and right here in India. The crimes are brutal and the villages full of secrets. The plotting's great so far and I'm on season 6 and around 25 100 minute stand alone episodes. Impressed.

Sitting in airlines and a new pizza place has opened inside the compound. Some dude's ordered spaghetti and it smells a bit like Maggi's masala. There's a woman sitting here who looks like Farah Khan.

Back. Again. What's happening? I started this last friday when I got the septicflesh and now restarting on friday with primordial. How about that? Yes, finally. Redemption at the Puritans Hand. Its epic and heavy and
Nemtheanga delivers another fearless performance. Just about done with first listen and its very good. As is the Blut Aus Nord and I'm expecting good things from the Miasmal debut. Too much kickass music happening. I'm also really liking The Great Mass. Reminds me more and more of Revolution DNA.

In other news, I might pass out. Ate too much. I might be playing blackjack tomorrow. 21.

I have something that needs finishing. Luckily I'm very good at multitasking. So I can finish and type.

Oh I saw Rango. Rattlesnake Jake was great. The movie was good but left me unsatisfied. Also this insane movie called Rubber. Its very difficult to describe so I won't bother but everyone should see it. Now I plan to actually get off my ass and finish what I need to and type some more.

This Primordial album is great.

I'm listening to the new Pentagram and man they're ripping it. Its been a bit of a slow grower but I suddenly know the words here and there. Always a good sign.

Unable to finish or move.

Bobby Leibling's telling me to call the man. "when you've done everything you can... I know you better run for the man." Who is the man? I don't know but could be useful. A handyman. Give me a hand out of this tub my good man. What a cheesy song. Seriously. I need to make a copy of this for the car.

I had a terrific drive yesterday and then again today with green carnation playing and the weather being perfect doom metal cloudy, dull grey and wet. That album reminds me of simpler times. Just a total perfect one hour trip. A total classic.

I'm planning to watch visions of suffering on mute with the new blut aus nord as soundtrack. Let's see. Oh I also have police story 2 written, directed and starring Sai Kumar. Suddenly everything changes and I'm faced with choices. Hard fucking choices all the fucking time. Ridiculous kannada action film or dark disturbing russian? Or just passing out to light of day, day of darkness. Choices I tell you.

So none of the above happened. Saw the first 30 minutes of Anguish again and then passed out. Good morning world.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

This cemetary opens at sundown

So here I am again. Trying literally. Why bother? I'm not sure. Feels important.

Something that's been on my mind for a while now. Where did all these shiva and kali worshiping bands come from? Weapon and Orator have Hindu roots but Necros Christos? They're all blond, possibly blue eyed Germans singing about Hindu gods. Is Jon Nodveidt to blame? Is Temple of The Black Light to blame? Actually, if these bands keep putting out killer albums and there aren't any suicides then its all good and blame will simply be cause. Or something like that.

I went to my first expat party, lodged my first police complaint and went to a local show and had fun for the first time in years. Not all on the same day but close enough. The show was a definite highlight. I've also started a blog to review stuff Let's see if I can sustain this.

And I've totally lost my train of thought. Sack. Later.

I'm listening to a band called Quest for Fire. The vocalist thinks he's in Pink Floyd but the band are doing an awesome chilled out stoner rock that's somewhere between Giant Squid and Across Tundras. Very nice.

I would really like a tall glass of sugarcane juice right about now. It's fucking hot here and april and may are going to be hell on earth. Hopefully it'll start raining in June.

India won the cricket world cup. It was an unbelievably tense game and by the time Lanka finished batting it looked like they'd done enough to win their second cup. Then Sehwag got out for a duck and Sachin followed soon after and it looked like curtains for us. But this is a new team with actual depth in batting and more importantly, some iron in their spines. Kohli and Gambhir managed to stay with the asking rate and then Dhoni promoted himself ahead of Yuvraj and played the most important innings of his life. It really was stunning cricket from the indian captain. Also, his captaincy in the knock out stage has been spot on after a couple of mis steps early on in the tournament. There's a management book waiting to be written on Dhoni's captaincy skills. Anyway, the world cup win made me happy.

And it rained today only. For 5 minutes after which it became insanely humid and I sweated right through my shirt. Disgusting.

Also, finally, a torrent for Hobo with A Shotgun is out and its downloaded and waiting. I've also got a packet of the finest that Mysore has to offer. Providence I tell you but couldn't this have happened over the weekend?

What a ridiculously tiring day. Ridiculous and tiring. My eyes are burning and my body aches. Later dear diary. I'm done now.

Friday, March 25, 2011

India's playing Pakistan in the world cup semi finals. Shades of 1996 all over again. I can't wait. Like the quarters wasn't bad enough, the match threatens to leave a few people with heart attacks. I'm hoping for an India South Africa finals at the Wankhade. These 2 teams have been playing some high quality cricket against each other for the last few months and the World Cup finals with these 2 teams would be killer. Hope and pray.

I'm sitting in airlines and a whole bunch of girls just walked in wearing the same red sari and with 2 dudes who seem to be their care takers. Weird.

In other weird news I've become a lode stone for insects. Yesterday, heading back home from the complex a spider landed on my helmet and held on till I got home. A quite beautiful grey and black spider. Must have had suction caps for feet. Impressive. Now there's a giant red ant crawling over my bag. Must have fallen off a tree but he seems happy.

Airlines has a new kitten. The fellow was scared and nervous last week but now he's wandering around and getting his picture taken like he owns the place.

I have absolutely zero inclination for work today. 0.

Another Englishman has cited depression and family to quit cricket. Quit the world cup on the eve of their quarter final match and go home. What is up with these cry babies? Trescothik comes to mind as the chief sissy but this Yardy fellow's not too far behind.

In other news, Dead Flesh Fashion just released their second album and it owns. As does the new KEN Mode, Blood Ceremony, Decrepitaph and Boris. I'll stop with the name dropping but that Boris is some brilliant pop music.

South Africa lost to New Zealand in the quarters. So much for my hopes and dreams.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

pretty pink garden

Mornings were always the same for him. Wake up, scratch his balls for a bit, chai and biscuit and out the door and off to work. That day though, was different. His familiar foraging amongst his nether regions yielded an unfamiliar roughness. 2 raised patches of skin that felt like an old leather cricket ball with the leather worn and rough. He gave it a gentle squeeze and was relieved that there was no pain. He tried looking in the mirror but his stomach got in the way and that only added sadness to the weight he was now carrying. he decided to go see a doctor soon and stepped out and off to work. The growth ate away at his brain all day but by the time he was done with work it was too late for a doctor. He bought a small mirror, bandages and some dettol instead.

Standing in his bathroom with one mirror in hand and one in front he looked a little pale and sweaty. He started to move the mirror in his hand, checking various angles to see if he could get a look. Then he had it. 2 yellowish round patches of skin. Rough to touch. Fungus he thought with a shudder. He left the things alone. Decided to visit a doctor the next day and tried sleeping.
He actually did visit the doctor the next day. Got a rub, an ointment and a pat on the back for good behaviour. He even walked home with a spring in his step. Happy at having taken prompt action. Sleep that night was the stuff of legend. The next morning he woke up with a smile and felt full of energy till he reached for his sack. If anything, the patches seemed to have become bigger in every way. From mounds to hillocks. He squeezed and again felt no pain but the damn things were definitely bigger.

He dropped his pants and reached for the ointment, squeezing the tube till his hand was covered in the smelly white paste. Reached down and covered his crotch with it before sitting down. He was sweating and pale and nervous. He called the doctor for an appointment and waited. For a while. Then he decided to inspect the growth but stomach and ointment were both in the way and our man just felt tired and old and depressed.

Sitting on his bed slumped and wondering about the cause for his problems, the man put his head in his hands and started to weep. Too much smoking, he thought like all smokers do when faced with anything from an ingrown toe nail to cancer. The doctor could only see him in the evening and he had time enough to sweat and ponder and brood.

Then the strangest thing happened. He thought he could feel it pulsing under the thick ointment. Pulsing and throbbing like heartbeats. Panic. Cold, debilitating panic in waves as he rushed to the loo to wash away the ointment and give it an another look. Combination of mirror and angle was achieved after some difficulty and his shaking hands and running sweat didn't help matters but there it was. Definitely bigger and definitely beating to the rhythm of a different heart. He could feel his heart beating furiously in his chest but the beat in his ball sack was a much more measured and sleepy pulse. The rough yellow circles now had an outer ring of sickly green and 4 pink dots on each growth. He watched them beat and pulse. Hypnotised by the mirror image he lost track of time and space. When his arm fell asleep and the mirror crashed to the floor it made no difference to him. Still sitting and feeling every pulsating moment. Something was moving around in his ball sack.
Within these growths. He could feel it. Something just waiting to burst out. The pulsing of his sack was distinct and clear and formed a perfect counterpoint to the beating in his chest.

It was then that the pain hit him. In fast moving excruciating waves shooting from his ballsack all the way to his brain. His last conscious thought was that he was having a stroke. After that was just the darkness that he leapt into.

The first thought on regaining consciousness was that he'd died. He couldn't feel a thing and the room seemed brighter somehow. The pain was gone though and that was the important bit. It took him some effort to stand up and when he did and looked at himself in the mirror he saw the growth from his sack. He didn't need the small mirror or even have to hold up his stomach for a better view. There between his legs, growing out of his sack were 2 bright pink petunias fluttering gently between his legs.

Life was never the same for him again.

RIP Tura Satana

Tura Satana died a few days ago. A start as a go-go dancer, Elvis's girlfriend for a time and one kvlt movie. But what a movie. I knew going in that the movie had a rep but when Varla broke that dude's neck in desert I knew I was in for one wild ride. A genuine holy shit moment. Pity there was never anything else to match Varla or Faster, Pussycat. Kill! Kill! but you can't have everything I guess.

Monday, February 07, 2011

I've got my robot headdress on and I'm singing the blue ball blues

Java City for lunch and time pass after ages or maybe a fortnight. There's a woman from the 5 star up the road chain smoking kings and drinking water in her grey business suit. She's forgotten to take off her name tag or maybe not. There's a man who looks like an accountant reading an Erle Stanley Gardner book and his pink drink is almost untouched. The techies on their lunch break are loud and obnoxious but I have my ipod and Blindead is drowning out most noise. You can tell a lot by a person's helmet. I can't. The squeaking laughter of the girls is irritating the accountant and probably distracting him from Mason's latest case. Only a matter of time before he tells them to shut up and attend college. Poor fellow. I sympathise.

I feel like going on a long drive and doing absolutely nothing. A regular feeling. I hope that one day soon India will win the world cup just so the channels can stop playing the '83 win and stop fellating Kapil's devils. I haven't watched the news in a long while. Not since my tv conked off a few months ago. Not missed much I think. Anyway, food needs to happen and then head back to work and while away time till 6. Later.

I changed the music in my car and I pod today. Went to work with coverdale/ page playing and now listening to Look at Yourself. Both albums put me in a very happy although slightly nostalgic mood. Its quite insane how so much music I listened to growing up comes with its own back story. Uriah Heep and Coverdale Page just both made me wish for a music shop like Sound Options again. Where you could walk in, browse, get the dude to play whatever new tape you wanted to check out, put a smoke or two, talk about the revolutionary picture quality of a laser disc and generally hang out. Now its Planet M or Landmark. Faceless shops with no personality where browsing for music is just uncomfortable and tedious and asking the staff for help is utterly pointless. I miss Sound Options, Rhythms, Music Magic and that shop in Curzon Court. Even Ram's and his never ending supply of pirated AR tapes. So what if he couldn't tell the difference between Pantera and Petra. See what I mean about nostalgia?

Anyway, I'm going to see Bevar Sea this weekend. I'm hoping for a good trip and a decent show. The plan is to get sent, stand at the back at watch. I'm hoping Orphaned Land play The Beloved's Cry.

There's a giant tom who's taken to hunting in our garden. I could hear him last night and today morning he was prowling the garden like he owned it. Not scared either. Strict instructions not to let him in though.

I'm slightly addicted to the Word Mole game on my phone.

In other news, I had an insane attack of the acid yesterday. Completely debilitating.

Health problems and old age aside I'm pretty good. Life seems to be mostly okay. At least the things I can control are in control and the variables aren't causing me heartburn.

I'm occasionally disappointed with my own inane observations but then I look around and tell myself its not so bad. Carrying on, I need new shoes and a couple of pairs of trousers. I think some shopping needs to happen soon.

A new Red Harvest and a new Septic Flesh also need to happen soon please. Listening to Revolution DNA and the Greeks are just incredibly classy. I think the 90s was a pretty great time for extreme metal. I should also roll a fatty and listen to this and A Deeper Kind of Slumber back to back one of these days. In related news I can't find my Odd Fellows Rest CD. Okay, I've had enough of my own bullshit. For now.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

2010 Top 40

2010 was a pretty great year for music. I heard all sorts of terrific stuff and could have easily listed 50 top albums instead of 40 but felt too lazy. These are all albums arranged in order of preference and albums I'd score a minimum of 4 on 5 for if this was kvltsite.

But first, three huge disappointments in 2010.

Nevermore's The Obsidian Conspiracy was unbelievably bad. Is this the same band that made Dreaming Neon Black, Politics of Ecstacy and This Godless Endeavor? The riffs are rehashed, the lyrics are rehashed or just plain cringe inducing and the songs sound like a patchwork of past Nevermore songs. Just a really terrible and lazy album.

Anathema's We're Here because We're Here which suffered from too much hype, too much delay and Steve Wilson's bullshit. Thats 2 great bands he's ruined now. But seriously 8 years for this? It sounds like elevator music. Godzilla sized disappointment.

Last is Cathedral. A 5 year gap before they released The Guessing Game and its filled with prog rock and Lee Dorian's vocals which just continiue to get worse. I had a sneaky suspicion they'd go to shit when I read that Dorian had quit the weed and grown into an obsessive prog rock lp collector but this is still worse than anything I was expecting. I miss the simpler days of Soul Sacrifice and The Ethereal Mirror.

40. The Blood of Heroes - The Blood of Heroes

Justin Brodrick and Bill Laswell are on this. There's also a vocalist called Dr. Israel and a couple of electronic artists and the result is an album that is seamless across its influences. Groovy, heavy electronic music and awesome from beginning to end. Sort of like an electronic version of The Ocean. If there's just one song to listen to.

39. Venomin James - Crowe Valley Blues

This band owes a great debt to the first Karma to Burn album along with Kyuss, Fu Manchu, Cleansing era Prong and straight up heavy metal. Still or maybe because of which, Crowe Valley Blues is a total fucking blast.

38. Triptykon - Eparistera Daimones

I had really high hopes for this. This was going to be in my top 5 from 2010 for sure. Yet as much as I heard it, i couldn't escape from the fact that the albums drags. While Monotheist was fantastic from start to finish, this one has one ill advised attempt at electronic trip hop farting around and a couple of songs are a bit faceless. I still loved it but not as much as I thought I would.

37. Blindead - Affliction XXIX X MXMV

Post metal from Poland. This is essentially one long song broken into 7 parts and sounds like a mellow Neurosis. What sets this band apart though is the use of electronics, a catchy groove and a memorable melody. I could name check Cult of Luna, Antimatter and Anathema along with Neurosis and maybe even what Red Harvest would sound like if they chilled out. Very good band and a solid, classy album.

36. Dragonauta - Cruz Invertida

Argentina's Dragonauta have been plugging away for a while now but its on this, their third album that the band has got everything just about right. The occult doom stylings of the band are intact, the riffs are bigger and dirtier and while a debt is owed to Sabbath, Pentagram and St. Vitus it's also original enough and abrasive enough to really stand out and work. Cruz Invertida sounds great.

35. Furze - Reaper Subconscious Guide
Psychedelic black metal. I've seen a lot of bands get tagged that but Woe J Reaper's music is truly psychedelic. It's black metal mostly of the Darkthrone variety but held together by some truly creative song writing and enhanced by the use of some of the most unsettling electronics and ambient noises you'll hear. Furze's new album should be getting a lot more love. Bizarre but beautiful.

34. Ludicra - The Tenant

Imagine taking 70s hard rock, thrash and NWOBHM and then giving it a black metal twist. Ludicra remind me of an extreme metal Slough Feg but not boring. The Tenant is just a very classy extreme metal album and its backed up by some fine musicianship and song writing.

33. Blasphemophagher - For Chaos, Obscurity and Desolation...
Tongue in cheek Italian blasphemy of the highest order. These guys can really rip it and just blast their way through the ten songs on here with a crushing black death thrash hybrid that never lets up. Somewhere between the over the top blasphemy of Arkhon Infaustus and the bludgeoning of Averse Sefira. Black Hole Abomination from start to finish.

32. Sailors with Wax Wings - Sailors with Wax Wings
This album came out of nowhere. Put together by R Loren of Pyramids with Ted Parsons, Aiden Baker and Colin Marsten along with a host of guest vocalists including Aaron Stainthorpe and Jonas Renkse and artwork by David Tibet, this album is a sprawling post rock soundscape with a dissonant shoe gaze black metal feel. Ted Parsons' drumming on this is brilliant. And Clash and Clash of Hoof and Heel

31. Celeste - Morte(s) Nee(s)
Imagine Deathspell Omega with an industrial influence and maybe a bit more talent. Celeste are more French black metal with a variety of influences and Morte(s) Nee(s), their third album has blown my mind consistently since I first got it. This is incredibly heavy stuff and quite brilliant.

30. Ramesses - Take the Curse
Tim Bagshaw and Mark Greening have shed the baggage of Electric Wizard with Take the Curse. This is some awesome sludgy death doom that's a whole lot better than the new Wizard and is also easily the best album Ramesses have done so far. Essential for fans of the big riff.

29. Diocletian - War of All against All
This is some really confrontational black-death metal from New Zealand. The music is incredibly abrasive and dirty and old school. There's no polish to any of this album and its all the better for it. Exhilarating from start to finish and makes you want to take a bath once its done.

28. Salome - Terminal

Salome's split from last year with Thou left me feeling that the band was set for something a bit special and Terminal pretty much lives up to the promise of those two songs. This is some intense sludge. Like hardcore made as slow as humanly possible and then made heavier. There are times on Terminal when the band sound almost drone like and they make it work. This much heaviness for a sludge band without a bass player shouldn't be possible but what the fuck do i know?

27. Melechesh - The Epigenesis
This band always left me a bit cold. Never been a big fan but the more I heard The Epigenesis the more I grew to love it. The song writing on this album and the seamless weaving together of extreme black, death and thrash riffs with ethnic and folk sounds is spell binding. Not an easy album to get into but well worth the effort.

26. Whores of Tijuana - Psycholongevity
This is some wonderfully inventive stoner rock. A variety of influences on the second album from this three piece that manages to sound original in a genre thats crowded and quite incestuous. Sure, the obvious nod to Kyuss is present but the more I listen to this album the more its apparent that the Whores are treading a slightly different path here. A real grower.

25. US Christmas/ Minsk/ Harvestman - Hawkwind Triad
Magnificent tribute to Hawkwind from 2 insanely good bands and Steve Von Till's solo project. The song choice is immaculate, the playing superb and its basically 3 of the better stoner bands around today that are covering one of the most important psychedelic rock bands ever. A must if you like hawkwind or any of the three bands involved. This is US Christmas doing Psychedelic Warlords

24. Hooded Menace - Never Cross the Dead
In just about 3 years of being together, Hooded Menace has probably become the most exciting old school death doom band around. Never Cross the Dead is a superb exhibition of doom metal. Huge riffs, melodic and heavy as fuck with some really memorable songs. We can only watch as this creature ascends

23. Starkweather - This Sheltering Night
Starkweather are a strange bunch. 2011 will see the band turn 22 years old and they are a metalcore band from back in the day when it simply meant a mix of metal and hardcore and had nothing to do with Iron Maiden or At the Gates or sickly sweet choruses. This Sheltering Night is some nasty heavy music. The songs are mostly slowed down hardcore songs that are heavy on the dissonance and with a vocalist who can get quite unsettling. Not for everyone I guess but a terrific band and a great album.

22. Undergang - Indhentet af Doden
Second album from this Danish trio and Indhentet af oden is some powerful death grind. The band sounds massive right through this album and the songs have that face ripping intensity that all of death grind strives for but few ever achieve. This blew my mind and this band is one to really watch out for.

21. Inquisition - Ominous Doctrines of the Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm
This is ripping black metal. Colombia's Inquisition has just fine tuned their sound to such an extent that these riffs are glorious and will rip your face off. Dagon still sounds like Abbath with throat cancer but his vocals are used in a better way. They used to remind me of a more chaotic Absu but with this new one, Inquisition are pretty much on their own. Terrific stuff.

20. Solace - AD
In plain speak, this rocks. Solace take bits of southern rock, hardcore and heavy metal and fashion a superb example of stoner metal. The riffs have bite, the grooves are memorable and the songs kick immense ass. The bands best album yet.

19. Drudkh - A Handful of Stars
2009s Microcosmos saw the band exploring newer sounds and A Handful of Stars is a very natural evolution. This is prog inspired black metal done right. The songs are epic, memorable and always interesting. Not something I would have previously associated with this band.

18. Legen Beltza - Need to Suffer
This Spanish band has been languishing in obscurity for more than a decade now and Need to Suffer is their 4th full length. The band plays a furious brand of thrash that owes a fair bit to the first 2 Annihilator albums and early Anacrussis but delivered with some seriously aggressive intent. In a better world, Legen Beltza would be riding high on the thrash revival.

17. Monster Magnet - Mastermind
Dave Wyndorf finally wrote the perfect hard rock album. Its full of catchy rock music and Wyndorf's made a stunning return to form. It occupies a different place in comparison to the classic albums from the band but I think the return of Ed Mundell made a huge difference to these songs. Dig that Hole, When the Planes Fall From the Sky, Time Machine.

16. Stargazer - A Great Work of Ages

Soaring epic extreme metal with frightening levels of technical prowess wrapped up in a raw old school production job. This veers from straight out attack to awe inspiring prog-metal realms and back again. Great stuff.

15. Seamount - III
Doom rock is a genre I've been hearing a lot of lately. This reminds me a lot of Thin Lizzy but updated for a modern audience. Incredibly catchy hard rock songs that occasionally go towards doom and heavy metal. Great driving music.

14. High on Fire - Snakes for the Divine
Bastard Samurai and How Dark We Pray are worth the price but the entire album's pretty great. The band sound more focused and the songs are great. They're not as ballsy as they used to be but I can't really complain about anything on this album except for that stoned Slayer riff on Ghost Neck.

13. Man's Gin - Smiling Dogs
This is the Cobalt guy's solo album. Its like Degradation Trip but with better songs and American folk music vibes. This is a terrific album full of dark but ridiculously catchy songs.

12. Weapon - From the Devil's Tomb
Weapon was my discovery of the past year. This Canadian band by way of Bangladesh, essentially play death metal but with enough touches of thrash and black metal and leads that are just classic metal. Fantastic album from another young band. Album #3 might just be a classic but From the Devil's Tomb is pretty close.

11. My Brother the Wind - Twilight in the Crystal Cabinet
Swedish jam band with some insanely good musicians. These 5 guys pretty much just landed up in the studio and jammed and recorded. Considering that, these songs are amazing in their cohesion. Sort of like Half Man but less blues and more 70s psychedelia and prog rock. There's some stunning stuff on Twilight in the Crystal Cabinet.

10. Agrimonia - Host of the Winged
This is difficult to describe. The band play a furious crusty death metal but break up the blasting with epic doom metal riffs, melodic interludes, some electronics and long periods of spacey jams. Agrimonia is like Fall of Efrafa with bite. Fantastic.

9. Negura Bunget - Virstele pamintuli
Negru's the only remaining original member and there's a definite change in sound. The opening song with the flute is incredibly eerie and sets the mood for an album that's more east European folk inspired than any of their previous albums. Stunning from start to finish.

8. Impaled Nazarene - Road to the Octagon
This is a serious return to form. The Finns haven't sounded this malevolent in a while. Road to the Octagon gave me the same kind of rush that Legion and Panzer Division Marduk did. I don't know if this has the staying power but its been a constant companion for the last few months.

7. Integrity - The Blackest Curse
This made me happy. Integrity's a band I've loved for no good reason for a while now but there are a few new bands around that make Integrity sound old and safe. Anyway, without getting maudlin, when I heard the mid paced, ominous opening riff on the album followed by girl doing spoken word bit followed by breakdown and then manic riffing and Dwid's shouting I had a big fucking smile on my face. Integrity is back. This is brutal old school metal core but its also a band trying new things and succeeding. Whether its epic and strange 8 minute songs or just the bands patented mix of thrash, hardcore and Motorhead, Integrity spew venom and hate. This is perfect music to bash someone's head in. Do not however play in car during traffic jam.

6. The Meads of Asphodel - The Murder of Jesus the Jew
The Meads have finally got the sound they needed and they've got the songs to back up their ambition. This is a sprawling concept album based on the life and times of Jesus Christ and The Meads as usual wear their distrust for religion on their collective sleeve. However, its the music that is utterly spellbinding. Black metal is now just the foundation on which the band builds an extreme metal sound that is influenced by hard rock/ metal, anarcho punk, folk and pop music not to mention a couple of absolutely stunning vocal choir pieces, acapella and terrific lead guitar parts along with the usual nods to Hawkwind and Skyclad. This is The Meads of Asphodel at their very best.

5. Killing Joke - Absolute Dissent
Its been 28 years since this line up last recorded as Killing Joke. Damn, this band's been around a while. Absolute Dissent is a friendlier beast in comparison to the 2 albums that cam before this but probably the better album as well. It's filled with memorable rock songs with totally hummable melodies and enough crunch to keep fans happy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this and the band is just continuing along the path set by the comeback self titled album in 2003.

4. Thou - Summit
Thou was fantastic in 2010. Be it the numerous splits through out the year (all collected on the awesome Rendon Singles) or on Summit, their new full length where the band added a string section, a slightly more pronounced black metal feel and took Crowbar's sludge metal sound to previously uncharted territory and made it heavier and slower. Summit is a towering monolith of doom and the best thing they've done so far. Magnificent.

3. Ihsahn - After
Man, Ihsahn's solo career has just been phenomenal. Starting from The Adversary to aNgl and now After, each album has seen the growth of the artist. I kid you not. After is another evolution in his sound, this time with the addition of the saxophonist from The Shining and the rhythm section from Spiral Architect. It's completely brilliant. I thought the man would have a tough time topping aNgl but now I have no clue how he's going to top After. I'm pretty confident he will though. Awe inspiring.

2. Horn of the Rhino - Throne of Coronation
The band has hit their own stride. It could be the magic of the third album but Horn of the Rhino are completely magnificent here. They remind me at various times of Goatsnake and The Obsessed. They get brutally heavy, have a fantastic vocalist and the doom can get both heavy and soulful. Case in point is this awesome song. Another completely brilliant album by a young band.

1. Swans - My Father Will Guide Me Up A Rope To The Sky
This sounds like the last Angels of Light album but mixed with the clanging of The Great Annihilator. It sounds like Swans. Opener No Words No Thoughts is a fantastic start with its clanging off time riff and repetition and layers of noise and Eden Prison is Swans at their hypnotic best. The album is right up there with anything the band has ever done. The abrasive exists right next to the calm and it sounds better than ever.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A for easy, B for swan

I put on Overdose's Scars in the car today after ages. It was great fun singing along to all the weird sounds the vocalist makes and tomorrow I'm going to play Progress of Decadence. Happy new year to all and good cheer and greet the next 11 months with a smile and a song or cower under your blanket or simply ignore it. Whatever works for you. A new year and decade is upon me and I'm getting older. Its strange that I don't usually feel like this on my birthday but do at the start of the year. Old, old, old. I was going to write about random shit and suddenly here I am talking about my weary bones. When I pay attention to my friends they too seem to be saying the same things. Litanies to aging everywhere I look. I told my sister to watch Easy A and she asked me if my tastes were sobering down with age. Maybe they are. I also told her to watch Nightmare Detective in a desperate bid to regain some street cred. Tough times and secret relief when she said no.

I should get round to making year end lists soon but I really can't remember too many movies. Last year was one for watching tv shows of all sorts.

India just finished a brilliant test series against South Africa and drew level for the first time. The SA commentators were ridiculously partial throughout and the coverage was sucky and Ravi Shastri was the only Indian on the team but the actual cricket was fantastic. Sachin just continues to play the best cricket of his life and Kallis is, I think the greatest cricketer of the modern game. The IPL auctions also happened today and Chennai's managed to retain almost everybody except Murali who's going to Kochi and Shadab Jakati who's coming to Bangalore. Kochi's looking good as are Pune and Kolkotta and Mumbai has both Harbhajan and Symonds. And the tournament starts right after the world cup followed by tours to England and Australia. This is going to be a hell of a year for cricket. Did anybody actually think Ganguly was going to get picked? He should have retired. And lara also. Both great players have embarrassed themselves. Anyway, going to go watch Do Dooni Char. More later.

Later's turned out to be 2 days later. Oh well, Do Dooni Char was a surprisingly warm and amusing film. A slightly muddled ending but held together by excellent performances from Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh. Kapoor in particular was terrific as the maths teacher struggling to keep his family happy. Also saw Black Swan finally which in the end turned out to be more like a surreal version of The Wrestler except that it dealt with the high pressure world of ballet. It's a strange movie with an underwhelming conclusion but held together by a great performance from Portman. Vincent Cassel was great as the director of the ballet company too. The whole movie reminded me of Bergman at times and has a very distinct European feel to it. Overall, worth watching I guess.

This is going to be one long and disjointed update.

Also been watching twin peaks again. Not sure why but the coffee is still damn good.

Maybe not that long.