Thursday, September 30, 2004

Cigarette smoke and the woman from duh duh

The man drops his lighter. He bends to pick it up. The girl next to him is bending too. He picks up the lighter and blows cigarette smoke in a gentle upswing at the girl's face. She sits up, doesn't like it one bit. Doesn't say a word either. Did he just make a statement of a sort ? Do you care ?

Breathe In / Breathe Out

Freedom of a sort.
Bugs swimming in my curd.
Rattling drive, I'm a dotty old bird.
Despondent, Depressed.
Serial self killer.
Smile, giggle, laugh
Head in my hands
Nick Cave, A piper
And a King Rat
A nevermore overload
Bunnymen to the rescue
Driving in the dark
Sodom rock
Coffee, cigarettes
Laughter in spades
A good weak after all.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Depression and despondency

Despondent and depressed. I got called both these names last night. I was also asked if I was going to kill myself. I cannot keep a straight face and write this so I'll stop now. Or maybe I'll ramblke on for a while. I miss my sister. I spoke to her today so now I can smile again. Coming back to despondency, I'm much too young for it. I agree. I'm not sure what the word means but I do not like being associated with it. It makes me feel old and tired. As for depressed, I guess I am a little. Or maybe a lot. Or maybe not at all. Will you feel sorry for my state of confusion dear diary ? Will you ? Pity me.

Yesterday night I was profound for a while and then I was silent and boring and dull and then profound again. I cannot remember most of it. I think you should be thankful I have a lousy memory.

I'm off from work for the rest of the week. A break after a long long time but not on my own terms. I think I'll take it anyway and complain another day.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Damn! i love this.

I go to the chemist and ask him for two kilos of puppy food. There's a woman asking for tampons next to me. Nose in the air, middle aged and well preserved. She turns and asks me what breed of dog I have. I reply that I don't. I wonder if I should ask her what breed of vagina she has to be polite and maintain the conversation. I decide against it. I hurry off with my puppy food.