Thursday, January 27, 2005

the book burner

A man burns books on the footpath. We go up to him and ask what he’s burning. Hitler he says. Half a dozen copies of Mein Kampf are ablaze. “Are you a Jew ?” we ask him. He says Yes. We apologize and walk away not knowing what else to say.

Republic Day holiday. Nice peaceful lazy day. Spent it at home watching movies. Dark Waters came first. Creepy Japanese horror where atmosphere is queen and shadow king. I don’t get the Japanese obsession with apartments and little children but they make it work. Hell, water dripping from the ceiling becomes scary. I liked. Next was Romero’s Bruiser. This film had its moments but the slow pacing made it a chore to sit through. Still, not bad at all. Finally, Takashi Mike’s Visitor Q which you can be sure I’ll have more to say about sooner or later. Right now I don’t know what to make of this film. A work of art or garbage with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. You’ll know soon enough Dear Diary.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Look World

<>I want to write but can’t
I want to watch a movie but won’t
So I do what I do best

I’m shitting on you and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Monday, January 24, 2005

world shifter

I sit in fear. Fear, hope, loathing and expectation. All together. I look at the remains of last night. There’s a swig of Imperial Blue left over in the bottle. An oversight I correct. The morning sun streams in through the window. The curtains are drawn, windows shut but I cannot keep the sun out. Too much to ask for. Too lazy to board the windows. I take what I get. I light up and wait for the fear to go away. Maybe today I’ll go to Manali. I’m calm now. I take a drag, a few drags, the fear vanishes. Replaced by a feeling of inadequacy. Not enough, never enough. I stand and dare to look out the window. The world comes crashing in. The sounds of people, the blaring noise of civilization. I draw the curtains. Take another drag. Tonight I will board the windows. Not ready for this. Not yet. The sun continues to creep in.

The voices will soon be back. Any minute now. A man, a woman, sometimes many, sometimes just the woman. I hate them all. They scare me. The woman with her words of re-assurance. Again and again. Telling me things will be all right. They won’t be. Now or ever. I wish she would stop. I wish this would end.

I can feel the world moving beneath my feet. I have no place here. So scared. I light another. A crutch but it’s all I have. This crutch is my friend and it does not scare me. The world moves. I tremble. I fall. I cannot lift myself up. I see the smoke go up and disappear. I see the shards of glass from where the bottle fell. I crawl further in. I cannot. The world trembles, the world heaves the world rejects me.

Light. Slow but its creeping in. Light. The curtains do nothing. I should have boarded the fucking windows. Light. My world is becoming brighter by the second. The ground beneath me heaves and shudders. I scream. The light invades my world. I scream. The woman in my head is screaming too. An audio collage. A million different voices in my head. The woman. So loud. She shrieks. She moans. The ground beneath me is solid no longer. I slip and slide. My efforts to crawl back in are pathetic in the face of this world shifter. The woman screams again and again and again.

The world pukes me out. I scream.

to dust

She stands. Naked and fearless. Arms reaching out. A smile of such beauty on her face that I cannot help but stare in open mouthed wonder. Her long golden brown hair flows down her back. She stands resplendent. A thing of incomparable beauty. This is a dream. I go to her. She embraces me. I loose myself in the smell of her hair, in the touch of her skin, in the arch of her neck. Oh beautiful swan, this must be a dream. Every touch is a message of electricity. She burns me. I float on her eyebrows. I rest on her shoulder. I trace a line on her neck. She runs her fingers over my face. My knees give way and I crumble to dust.

Thursday, January 20, 2005


I wait for the black car. Another evening of snooker and coffee. The development of a pattern. I need some excitement in my life and not the “lets climb a mountain variety” but more of a “tie me up and ravish me you vicious angel” sort of excitement.

I met a girl who uses the word thingamajig in normal everyday conversations. First time I’ve heard someone actually say that. I like her.

A friend complained about the logic gaps in Kill Bill Vol.2. I wasn’t sure how to react to that. Uma Thurman was nominated for a Golden Globe. Now that was a bit much. She looked incredibly pretty through both movies but a Golden Globe for Kill Bill ? Bit much I think. She didn’t win so its all to the good I guess.

I saw Elaan. Mithun rocks. He has so much presence he just takes over the movie. I was actually waiting for him to pop up on screen. Awesome. Arjun Rampal’s another actor I like. I thought he was very good in Moksh and he’s always come across as being quite competent. No different here. Chunkey Pandey returns from Bangladesh’s film industry but he’s still as irritating as ever. Amisha Patel is very pretty but she’s also incredibly irritating. The rest of the movie is kind of crappy though. Still good time pass for 20 bucks.

Next up I want to see Anurag Kashyap’s Black Friday and Bhansali’s Black. No, dear diary the two movies have nothing to do with each other.

I also saw Ocean’s 12. Not as much fun as the first movie but pretty decent. Some completely bizarre WTF moments helped.

I meet Ms. Thingamajig again tomorrow. That should be interesting.


The word that comes to mind the most when describing Lycia is ethereal. If ethereal wasn’t so filled with pretension I’d use it too. A 2 member dark wave band, Lycia are mellow, melancholic and quite beautiful. They’re sort of like the gathering but not really. There is an aspect of film soundtrack to their music. Describing it is quite difficult.

<>Its like you’re riding a gentle wave and by the time Cold draws to end you’ve drowned in that gentle wave. Still pretentious but true.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I'm Alive

I have this sudden inexplicable urge to cut myself. I think I’m going insane. Not hurtling down but more like crawling inch by little inch into insanity. There’s nothing I can do to stop it. Nothing. I feel like a piece of driftwood except I know my destination. There’s nothing I can do to change direction. A feeling of complete helplessness.

The blood trickles down my stomach. A cut just below my left nipple. Cut myself and wonder if the rusty blade will infect me. I look down at the thin stream of blood in wonder and awe. I taste my blood. A little bitter a little woody. A little stale a little salty. Just like I thought it would be.

I lie stretched out on my bed. My wife sleeps unknowing. Dreams sweet dreams maybe. I haven’t felt this alive in years. I cut myself again. A tiny pansy little cut on my right shoulder. It bleeds. I bleed. I want to wake my wife up and shout at her, “Look. Look! I’m alive.” I put on some clothes and walk out the door.

Killing Joke

< style="font-family: arial;">I’ve been on a huge Killing Joke trip this week. Started with Nighttime, after which I went back to Democracy and then listened to Extremities, Dirt and Various Repressed Emotions and Pandemonium back to back. 4 albums into this band’s massive discography I am yet to hear two albums that sound similar. All four of these albums kick some serious ass in completely different ways. Pandemonium is my current favourite. It reminds me of a more melodic slightly laid back Ministry. There are another 4 albums to go with this band and then I have to hunt down the stuff I’m missing. Still can’t get a handle on this band. I should stop trying.

Kings And Queens

Would you like some turkey for dinner ? Roast or Cold ? You can pick.

Killing joke is one weird band. I cannot figure them out. Vocalist Jaz Coleman is reputedly a nutcase who only brings the band together when he’s pissed off enough at the world to record. I have eight of their albums now and the two that I’ve got down to hearing, Democracy and Night Time are nothing alike. It could be two different bands. Democracy is harsh rock n roll with Coleman sounding like a slightly melodic Lemmy and the band reminding me of Warrior Soul while Nighttime is so 80s disco played in a rock format. Both albums are great but both albums are nothing like each other. I cannot get a handle on this band. Considering the time between those two albums I guess the band just evolved. Also, they’re supposed to be a huge influence on Prong and a whole host of alternative rock bands who started in the 90s. I should get down to listening to the other albums one of these days. I like Nighttime way more than I like Democracy.

Monday, January 17, 2005


Yes – Relayer

About 5 minutes into this album it is apparent that Yes are to blame for every prog rock widdly widdly wank wank band there is today. That alone should be enough to never listen to this band again and pretend that it does not exist. When I want self indulgence I’ll listen to Sutcliffe Jugend. This is utter nonsense. The vocalist makes me feel like beating somebody up. The songs are so fucking long its not funny. This is only the second Yes album I’ve heard. The first was Tales From The Topographic Ocean. A sprawling 2 CD affair that went nowhere. Relayer has 3 songs at a playing time of 40 minutes. The first song is a little more than 20 minutes while the next two are a little less than 10 minutes each. I cannot imagine ever listening to the entire album in one sitting.

Yes ? NO.

Dawn Of The Dead

I saw the remake over the weekend. The original bored me a good deal except for two scenes. One when the cops find a whole bunch of zombies and then have to massacre them all and the second when the white cop is slowly changing. Both those scenes were quite powerful but the rest of the movie just bored me. The new movie has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Utter crap. I’d rather watch dough fall into biscuit trays.

Sunday, January 16, 2005


No one cares no one cares no one cares anymore
We’ve overslept another armageddon.

When I want to puke and nothing comes out, Two Fingers up the throat is the cure
When I want to write and nothing comes out, Lux Occulta is the cure

I love being me. I have a cure for everything.

Chronicles Of Riddick

I saw this over the weekend. I haven’t enjoyed a big Hollywood film in a while. Like Conan The Barbarian with spaceships, the movie is dumb, violent and a lot of fun. There’s some story about these Necromongers and the planet of Hellion Prime or maybe its Helliom but I don’t remember right now. Not important. The Necros evil as they are want to take over the planet Prime. Riddick is the one man who can defeat the Necros and so he does. There’s some side story of a boy from pitch black who turned out to be a girl and grew up wanting to be just like Riddick. Did you just say “WHAT THE FUCK!” dear diary ? Anyway she’s rotting in jail and Riddick finds time to rescue her in between kicking Necro ass. The fights are superbly done. What a trip. Vin Diesel has a lot of screen presence. He can’t act but he’s a believable tough guy and he uses it to his advantage. The only irritating part is Dame Judi Dench. She reminds me of Raakhi. Another woman who I cannot imagine ever being young and desirable. Anyway, the Dame is an elemental. She calculates events in the universe and gives you odds on what might happen. She can also disappear and reappear at will. She has the plastic grin on her face right through the movie. Riddick defeats the bad guys, kills the head of the Necros, The Lord Marshall and since the Necros keep what they kill, Riddick becomes ruler of the Necros as the film draws to a close and the camera moves to the same fucking plastic smile of Dame Judi Dench. They could have made the movie a little shorter but all in all the movie made little sense but kept me entertained almost all the time.

Bored. I cut myself again because I’m so fucking bored. Acid Bath is quite quickly replacing everything. What a band.

Midnight and the street is quiet for once. Any minute now I’ll hear it. A car. It blended well with Missa Solemnis. Quiet night. Sunday night. The city goes to sleep early Sunday night. Most of it maybe none of it.

This is the last hour of the carnival
I dance I dance though it hurts
Hangman’s rope suits well every gentleman
Madam you look charming that necklace of blood.

This is the last hour of the carnival
I dance I dance though it hurts
I dance I dance though it hurts

People say there’s a day after every night
People say there’s a sun behind these clouds
What a relief
What a relief

I drink to that
Pour me the glass of poisoned wine

What a relief
What a relief
This is the last hour of the carnival
I dance I dance
Though it hurts
This is the last hour of the carnival
I dance I dance
Though it hurts

People say there’s a day after every after every night
What a relief

I typed the words out as the song played and did a damn good job of it. Only three mistakes. I’m proud of myself. This is how jobless I am. I could read but no mood. I could watch a movie but no mood. Fucking jobless idiot.

Hollywood is making a movie of The Chronicles Of Narnia. I wonder if anyone will look at that title and go “Hey, let’s go watch Vin Diesel kick some alien ass.”

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

For A Taste Of Eternity

Far too much of my fun involves intoxication. So observed a friend. True. 11am and no pot. I’m bored beyond belief. If all goes as per plan, no pot for this entire week. If I can pull it off. I may need you to hold my hand dear diary.

I wish I knew a few jokes. Maybe I should buy a joke book. My granddad has a whole collection of those rugby jokes books. Maybe I should just borrow some of them from him.

I renewed contact with an old friend from a time I did well to expunge from my memory. That friend was the only positive thing to come out of those years and renewing that friendship feels pretty damn good.

I must get round to clearing my room. One of these days. I finally got my CD shelves in order so that’s to the good. I really have nothing to say and you must excuse me Dear Diary but if I’m not doing this then I will remember that I have no pot. Oops. Sad and pathetic. I lapse into self pity.

Insane session on Friday. I have no idea what happened for the most part but it was quite awesome. Thank you wyrmboy.

I shouted at the old man/ parking attendant outside Java City and scared the shit out of him. I felt guilty about it afterwards. Just an old man trying to live, I should have let the damn 5 bucks go.

There is no room for guilt when I’m stoned. Another good reason to light up. Sad shit.

Prong should be the poster boys for the whole mall-core scene. Maybe they are. Cleansing is an album that shows you exactly how good mall-core could have been. Cleansing and Scars by Overdose. These are two albums I want to play to every mall-core loving baggy pant wearing clown. Ah well, if wishes were horses I’d own a stud farm.

Friday I heard The Mother And The Enemy after what was a very long time. Inspired selection. That album just makes me very happy.

What do I follow Irreligious with ? Skeleton Skeletron. Go with the mood. This album was so badly ripped apart by the press when it came out. I like it. Sure, its not Wildhoney and its not even vaguely metal anymore but its still pretty damn good. Damn these kvlter than thou critics. A good song is a good song is a good song and this album has a few of those.

I was listening to We Kill Everything by GWAR in the afternoon and it suddenly hit me. A startling insight. This is probably the worst metal album in the world. Ever. But… because its GWAR, it’s still fun. Or maybe its cause I actually bought the damn thing and I’m never going to admit that it sucks ten ways to Sunday. You’ll never know Dear Diary.

Playing with myself in front of the mirror. Anything to keep my mind occupied till sleep comes. I kick the ball from one side of the bed to the other. I walk across to the other side and kick it right back in front of the mirror again. I’ve been asked why I have beach balls in my room. Now you know Dear Diary.

< style="font-style: italic;">No one here drinks water
No one here is safe
If you pretend you’re my daughter
We’ll do it again and again.

Good lord! I had no idea Tiamat was like this. WTF! Or maybe I just heard it wrong. Which is worse ?

What’s next on the menu ? Thin Lizzy, Jerry Cantrell, Yattering or Dim Mak ? No idea but I will be the first to know.

Tiamat on Skeleton Skeletron has a very strong Mission UK feel. Best Friend Money Can Buy reminds me so much of One Jesus To Another. Now there’s a band I need to get on CD.

I regret giving away my Pearl Jam - Ten CD.

<>Brinjal – I hate (The first option on MS Word auto correct for the word Brinjal is Urinal. I’ll be damned if I’m going to type Egg fucking Plant. Motte Gida in kannada).
Asphyxiation – I like

<>Coffee vending machines – I hate
Eating Ice – I like

<>Strawberry Ice Cream – I hate
Chocolate anything – I like

I saw Musafir a couple of days ago. Sunjay Dutt is the coolest actor in Hindi cinema. Ever. Nobody quite like him. Anil Kapoor is an actor I like. Shakti Kapoor is a child hood favourite and Aditya Pancholi after Saathi became another favourite. Mahesh Manjrekar is in it too and he rocks. Now, this should have been one kickass movie with these chaps in it. Unfortunately its crap. I can handle bakwaas storylines but Musafir takes bakwaas to a whole new level. Loosely based on U Turn with Anil Kapoor subbing for Sean Penn, Musafir is shot like one long music video. Sanjay Gupta should be making music videos. Not movies. That though is not the problem. The film has so many WTF moments that after a while your brain switches off and all you can do is stare numbly at the screen and hope that the movie gets over quickly. Sameera Reddy is so fucking irritating as the ill treated wife of Mahesh Manjrekar that I was hoping she would die. There is some story somewhere but fuck all that. Not really important. There are some snappy dialogues and what passes for witty repartee and some of it is good not because of the lines themselves but because of the panache with which Sanjay Dutt, Mahesh Manjrekar and Aditya Pancholi deliver them. Anil Kapoor goes through the whole damn movie trying desperately to be cool. Not happening. Gupta made me cry with Plan and while Musafir is a little better its still nowhere near as much fun as Kaante or Aatish. Hell, Hamesha was better than this pile of shit.

<>This was actually a movie I looked forward to watching. Now, my only hope is Elaan. Mithun finally comes back to mainstream Hindi movies. As a villain. Go ahead and laugh Dear Diary, but I can hope can’t I ? <>

What’s next on the menu ? Thin Lizzy, Jerry Cantrell, Yattering or Dim Mak ?
Black Sabbath – Vol. 4 actually.

Midnight Tides

Midnight Tides – Steven Erikson

A Tale Of The Malazan Book Of The Fallen

<>“Describe your contract offer,” Ormly demanded. “but be advised, we don’t do private functions.”
“What does that mean?”

“I won’t waste my breath on explaining… unless it turns out to be relevant. Is it?”
“I don’t know. How can I tell?”
“Well, that’s my point exactly. Now about the contract?”
“All right,” Tehol said, “but be warned, it’s complicated.”

The Malazan Book Of The Fallen owns every modern fantasy series. Every one of them. The story is long and complicated. Five books in, I have no idea how things will turn out. I’m not even sure if there will be a conclusion.

The fifth book in the planned ten part series, the timeline is around the same time of the events described in Memories Of Ice. In a distant continent far away from the Malazan Empire and its myriad manipulations, are the lands of the Tiste Edur and the kingdom of Lether. Tiste Edur, the children of Shadow and Lether the once legendary first empire, now poised at resurrection according to prophecy. It is also the story of two sets of brothers on either side. The Sengars, a powerful warrior family of the Tiste Edur. Fear, Trull, Binadas and Rhulad. In the kingdom of Lether, a trio of brothers, Beddicts Hull, Tehol and Brys.

A nervous peace is shattered and both empires move against each other. Pawns in a game of gods.

Erikson once again just blows me away with the scope of this story. A brand new continent, two new civilizations, a host of memorable characters and a kickass story. The seeds for this book were planted in Memories Of Ice, the third book of the series although I doubt if the writer will ever confirm that. The Tiste Edur body that was found in Memories Of Ice was our first look at the children of Shadow. The appearance of that body is explained here in book 5.

This book also has the most humour in the series so far. The interactions between Tehol Beddict and his servant Bugg make for some completely laugh out loud moments. The Letheri are by and large irreverent, decadent and live by their own set of casual rules. The Edur are fierce warriors who take themselves far too seriously.

The release of every new book in the cycle means that I have to go back to the beginning and read all the other books. I’m sure that when I get down to it quite a few little bits and pieces will fit in. They usually do with Erikson.

Midnight Tides is a great book but in the scheme of the Malazan Books Of The Fallen it seems more like a place holder. Much like Book 1, Gardens Of The Moon set the stage for the Malazan Empire, Midnight Tides sets the stage for the Tiste Edur. They are no longer the children of Shadow but now bow unknowingly to the Crippled God. There are a fresh bunch of threads that need to be resolved and if Erikson is going to stick to the planed 10 book cycle, there’s only 5 more books to finish this. I can’t wait.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

green plague

Meshuggah is my own personal soundtrack to nothing.

I have decided Dear Diary, I will start every entry with a line I like. I’m so intelligent it hurts.

People these days are giving far too much importance to the bizarre and the surreal. The bizarre and surreal shouldn’t even be a part of my existence. Unfortunately God is not all powerful and so I take what I am given. Full of complaints obviously. If I can do nothing to better my lot in life then please let me complain. I digress into rubbish.

Can I ever hope to feel a million light bulbs exploding in my head again ?

Can I escape through sheer apathy ?

Will I ever smoke in front of my parents ?

Can I listen to your heart beat ? Sit in your pocket, ride on your shoulder ?

Will I ever know, if you’re still reading, you’re in the middle of teen angst.

Will you hold my hand

Will you cut my face

Will you feel a million light bulbs exploding in your head ? With me.

Good God. You’re deep in it. Go away. Come back in a couple of years or decades or centuries. Take it from Dr. deathrider.

Last decade dead century. Namedropping has been a long well respected elder cousin of mine.

<>Just because something starts well does not mean that it will end well. Sometimes it is best to leave things halfway than stretch matters till the end. --- The Gyaan Guru speaks… Journal 10, 79.19.

<>Meshuggah on Nothing sound like a really heavy less noisy version of modern day Voivod.I do this sometimes.

I will watch the darkness now. Anna Paquin’s in it. She’s so hot. But it seems so wrong. Yes.

Happy New Year

I heard a lot of music this year but very little that was actually released in 2004. To make matters worse, a bunch of stuff I heard late last year only went into my head this year, so basically anything that made an impact on me in this calendar year gets a mention.

This is going to be a slightly warped year end list but all of this is fucking kvlt and is in no order of preference.

  1. The Chasm – Conjurations of the Spectral Empire

Daniel Corchado has been plying his brand of death metal for donkeys years now. Gaining a small incredibly devoted following in the underground, this Mexican death metal fanatic just keeps on going. The Chasm are old school death metal and Conjurations… just slowly but surely sneaks into your head and stays there.

  1. The Gathering – Souvenirs

This band just moves from strength to strength. Souvenirs sounds like a cross between If Then Else and How To Measure A Planet with a bunch of electronics thrown in for good measure. Trickster G’s involvement in the ep before this “Black Light District” might have played some part in this album. All to the good. The Gathering right from Mandylion have not put a foot wrong. Souvenirs just continues their tradition of quite brilliant music.

  1. Acid Bath – When The Kite String Pops

New Orleans fucking awesome bands and Acid Bath is right up there with the likes of Crowbar and EyeHateGod. Mike Sanchez and Sammy Pierre Duet make for an awesome guitar duo and Dax Riggs’ vocals are fucking fantastic. This band rocks. Odd Fellows Rest by Crowbar is pretty much my favourite album from that heavy as fuck scene but When The Kite String Pops is right up there.

  1. Art By Machinery – Dues Ex Machina

From Norway, AbM is a weird little rock band that a whole lot of people should know. Unfortunately the band were a well kept secret and broke up after only two albums. Dues Ex Machina is their debut. Almost impossible to classify or describe suffice to say that this is a killer album. Both albums are up for free download on the band’s official website so check this band out, They’re well worth your time and they are that damn good.

  1. Nevermore – Enemies Of Reality

This took a long time for me to get around to. In retrospect, every Nevermore album has taken time to sink in. Enemies is a great album let down slightly by a chutiya production job. Like fucking Queensryche over wasn’t enough, Kelly Grey had to fuck with Nevermore too. Still, the songs rock. The I Voyager video was a cause for raised voices and concern in Mohan’s but one thing’s for sure, Enemies Of Reality is another great album from Nevermore.

  1. Scholomance – The Immortality Murders

That the band broke up soon after this, their second album will be one of the tragedies of extreme metal. Scott Crinklaw got a whole lot better and while the drum machine is still there, the songs are quite something. Way better than Treatise Of Love, The Immortality Murders should appeal to everyone from fans of extreme metal to fans of guitar wankery to fans of classical music. Quite awesome.

  1. GWAR – This Toilet Earth

GWAR. I got a bunch of GWAR albums this year and while Scumdogs Of The Universe and America Must Be Destroyed are way more metal, and We Kill Everything is complete chaos, This Toilet Earth is just the most fun. Everybody should have at least one GWAR album in their collection. Thrash metal with bits of every other style thrown in the blender from jazz to punk, This Toilet Earth is pure fucking entertainment.

  1. Dark Tranquility – Damage Done

The boys from Sweden. This album looses steam around about song number 7 but Monochromatic Stains, Final Resistance, Damage Done and Cathode Ray Sunshine are among the best songs DT have ever written. Gothenburg death metal did you say ? Dark Tranquility own Gothenburg. Enough said.

  1. Soilwork – Figure Number Five

The album before this, Natural Born Chaos, was a stunning progression for this Swedish death metal band. Most of their death metal sound though has been discarded in favour of a modern groove ridden melodic sound. A slight sense of dik-chak prevails through the album. While Figure Number Five has the faithful up in arms, it takes balls the size of grapefruits for a band to follow up Natural Born Chaos with this. And just in case you were wondering, dear diary, Soilwork still write great songs. They’re just not metal anymore.

  1. Crowbar – Sonic Excess In Its Purest Form

I’ve always been a huge mark for Crowbar. Equilibrium was a little disappointing but Sonic Excess is an awesome return to form. Crowbar are incredibly heavy on this album and have also written some brilliant songs. Not as good as Odd Fellows Rest but pretty damn good all the same.

  1. Ministry – Houses Of The Mole

So Al gets rid of Barker, plays the guitar and records a bunch of angry pissed of shit. Ministry have not sounded this good or this pissed off since Psalm 69. What a completely brilliant return to form. If you’ve never heard Ministry then shame on you. If you haven’t heard this album yet, imagine the monster grooves of Psalm 69 mixed with the claustrophobia of Dark Side Of The Spoon. Houses Of The Mole fucking rocks!

  1. Nine Inch Nails – All That Could Have Been

I’ve only heard this album once. Even then I’m not sure if I heard the whole thing or not. Still, the songs have received a fantastic makeover. Reznor has managed to take each song and add to it. Its almost like he’s showing us all that could have been on each one of these songs. Quite a special live album. Genius.

  1. Oysterhead – The Grand Pecking Order

This should have been a prog. rock hippie loving wankathon with no balls whatsoever. Instead, Les Claypool, Stuart Copeland and Trey Anastasio have given us one awesome rock album. Yes, Copeland displays more skill on one of these songs than ten prog rock drummers put together and Claypool and Anastasio just own the bass and the guitar. However, it never ever becomes a wankathon. Awesome rock and roll.

  1. Forest Of Impaled – Forward The Spears

The debut album from this American black death metal band Demonvoid was lackluster, tepid and dull. Pretty much a standard extreme metal album that sounded like a 100 other extreme metal albums. Forward The Spears though is one hell of an improvement on the debut. This is still a hybrid of black and death metal but suddenly the songs rock. Forest Of Impaled kick ass.

  1. Mastodon – Leviathan

An off shoot of Today Is The Day, Mastodon will CRUSH you. Elements of hardcore, metal and a completely insane drummer means Leviathan is just one non stop adrenaline rush. Brutal, in your face and completely uncompromising.

  1. Neglected Fields – Synthinity

Technical death metal from some east European country, Synthinity is a very classy piece of work. The twin guitars and the keyboards work beautifully together. The cover of Prodigy’s Breathe must be heard to be believed. Neglected Fields differ from the garden variety tech. death band simply because they add melody in their songs. This is not death metal of the mindless countless tempo changes. This is death metal that is well thought out and superbly executed.

  1. Thought Industry – Short Wave On A Cold Day

Another metal band that’s changed its sound completely. From being this technical thrash metal band to sounding like a poppy Radiohead, Thought Industry have come a long way. The Mr. Bungle touches are still in places and the songs are catchy and fun. The album at a little more than seventy minutes is probably a bit too long but overall, there are enough great songs on this album to keep going back to it.

  1. Buckethead – Monsters And Robots

Virtuoso guitar wankery down Arkham Asylum way, right beside the Norman Bates Chicken Farm. This is mad. I really have no words to describe this suffice to say this does not belong to the Steve Vai school of guitar wankery. Monsters And Robots is a lot of fun.

  1. Martyr – Warp Zone

Canada has its share of brilliant death metal bands. While not as popular as Cryptopsy or Gorguts, Martyr on Warp Zone show that they are not far behind. An intense display of technical death metal, Martyr have the chops to make your jaw hit the floor and more importantly they can write great songs. Quite a brilliant death metal album.

  1. Khert – Neter – Arrival Of The Funeral Dogs

There’s nothing original about this band. The music is mostly Entombed/ Autopsy worship. There’s an Egyptian theme ala Nile and the use of a synth. tells me it’s a project of two Finnish black metal bands. You would think Dear Diary, that this band has no real reason for existence. But, the songs fucking scream Death Fucking Metal at me and I can’t help but love it. \m/

Insomnia ?

2.10am. No sleep. Another joint ? Don’t see why not. I’ll take your brain to another dimension. Too lazy to roll. Pay close attention. Forgot to take jacket. Froze me balls off. Ab Tak Chappan. What a fucking kickass movie. Patekar rocks. Hundred. there it is again. Just like that. The Grudge. What a waste of time. Rubbish. And this shit is supposed to scare people ? It’ll cure insomnia. fucking

Uncle deathrider’s home made remedies to cure insomnia….. in no order of preference.

  1. The Phenom demo
  2. Prog. rock
  3. The Grudge
  4. Aishwarya Rai in any one of her “I’m so pure I piss holy water” movies.
  5. Dream Theatre post Images And Words
<>Six Feet Under
Graveyard Classics 2 is out. They’ve covered the entire Back In Black album. This is going to be so much fun.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Haymaker Humanist


You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on Earth. Probably what first attracted you to atheism was the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments, few of which are compatible with a life of pleasure. You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy.

You can’t see the point of abstract principles and probably wouldn’t lay down your life for a concept though you might for a friend. Something of a champagne humanist, you admire George Bernard Shaw for his cheerful agnosticism and pursuit of sensual rewards and your Hollywood hero is Marlon Brando, who was beautiful, irascible and aimed for goodness in his own tortured way.

Sometimes you might be tempted to allow your own pleasures to take precedence over your ethics. But everyone is striving for that elusive balance between the good and the happy life. You’d probably open another bottle and say there’s no contest.

What kind of humanist are you? Click here to find out.

Wow. This was quite accurate.

Sunday, January 02, 2005